OK ladies, let's getttttt in formation, y'all! Our "Black Parade" Queen has spoken! And she has spoken in such a monumental, celebratory way.
As we all know, March has been designated as Women's History Month. And all month long, businesses, social media, blogs, and all the in between, have highlighted women's contribution to society in beautiful ways.
Beyonce.com
For example, Hershey rolled out the hashtag #CelebrateSHE and changed their name is HerSHEy to raise awareness. Secret Deodorant released a docuseries titled, Secret Superhero Moms, and pledged $1 million to support more than 100,000 women and their families with childcare, workforce development and barrier reduction. And although we celebrate women every day, we've also highlighted ground-breaking women who have risen to the occasion of excellence.
But now that the month is winding down, the final infinity stone has been collected, signifying the completion of the celebration as one of the most powerfully decorated women in history decided to highlight a few women of her own.
And that woman issss—let's say it all together now—Beyonce.
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Up first, Thanos, herself, took to her website to recognize a handful of entertainers, rule-breakers and truth-sayers, across various industries. Of the entertainers, she says:
"Their passion and brilliance shone on courts, Zoom stages, streaming services, television, books, dance and song. They gave us joy and provided escapism in the midst of an overwhelming year. For Women's History Month, we honor the women entertainers (and sports greats) who rose to the occasion in delivering stand out feats that made us all shine."
These women include: Adele, Andra Day, Allyson Felix, Cardi B, Catherine O'Hara, Chloe x Halle, Cynthia Erivo, Hallie Mossett, Issa Rae, Kelly Rowland, Megan Thee Stallion, Michelle Williams, Mariah Carey, Michaela Coel, Misty Copeland, Naomi Osaka, Serena Williams, Solange Knowles, Taraji P. Henson, and Viola Davis.
Next, were women who are "creating their own way to tell their stories, finding other avenues to get to the destinations, and breaking every rule in the process."
On this list was: Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Jane Fonda, Bozoma Saint John, Thasunda Brown Duckett, Meghan Markle, Amina J. Mohammed, Maxine Waters, Rosalind "Roz" Brewer, Stacey Abrams, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Elsa Majimbo
And in her last group of women, Bey spotlighted several truth-sayers, wishing that "grace continue to lie at their feet," and that "every girl walk in their footsteps."
These women were none other than: Amanda Gorman, Tamron Hall, Tamika Mallory, Brittany Packnett Cunningham, Michelle Obama, Cleo Wade, Oprah Winfrey, Tarana Burke, Lena Waithe, Gayle King, Luvvie Ajayi Jones and Angela Rye.
Queens.
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OK, can I just say, I am here for this? Likeeeeee, front-of-the-class-mark-me-present-attending-every-event-I-need-to-attend, here. Not only is Beyonce highlighting women on her platform who have put it all on the line, she comprehensively did so in a way where she took a step back from her power, and relinquished it to others.
Taraji has been openly vulnerable for the benefit of the culture for all of 2020, in a lane where so many of us are unfamiliar or struggling (mental health). Luvvie has pioneered a lane of highly clever, highly intelligible women who aren't afraid of speaking with impact. Serena is the greatest athlete of all time and for some reason, has to continue to have to explain *why* when the trophies. speak. for. themselves. And Stacey Abrams. Well, she has single-handedly redefined what it means to outsmart, and play, the very game put in place by everyone that ultimately tried to stop you.
These. Are. A. Flex.
So, thank you to these Black women. We are lit. Society doesn't want you to remember that. But...we do.
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Featured image by Beyonce.com
Some of those past experiences fostered a lot of energy and emotion just for them to simply be topics of conversation today. So, does that mean we wasted our time? Did we put too much of a focus on our goals and not enough on the development of our personal relationships? Don't get me wrong, I don't subscribe to a societal life timeline. However, it's only natural for those feelings to creep in from time to time, especially during the unique period we're in. And it made me wonder, do men have these thoughts too, or are we alone in these feelings?
That's one of the reasons I was super excited to speak with Houston rapper Slim Thug. Recently, he released a song called "Black Queen", a track where he unapologetically explains his dream girl, which he proudly states is a black woman. Now, when I think of Slim Thug, I think of his features on iconic southern anthems like "Still Tippin" and "Like a Boss". A love song is the last thing I expected to hear from him. But then it dawned on me, just as my feelings and desire for love have changed over time, so could his, and sometimes the best way to release these emotions is through art and healthy dialogue. This is why Thursday evening, after a bit of Zoom drama and a save-the-day conference call line, we had a very transparent discussion.
In our chat, we talked about his new single "Black Queen", thoughts on dating and relationships, and why it's important to make your intentions clear. And I quickly learned, women are not alone in these feelings.
xoNecole: First, can you tell me about your song "Black Queen". What inspired you to create it?
Slim Thug: I was on Instagram Live playing the beat and I was trying to figure out what I wanted the subject of the song to be. A woman responded, and told me I should talk about my black queens. So, I got right offline and made it, it took me about an hour to create it. I just described my dream woman. "Black Queen" is basically a bio for my dating profile, it's what I'm looking for (laughs).
I like the song a lot, but I love that you referred to her as a Queen. Why do you think it's important to uplift Black women during this time?
If she's gonna be with a King, she's gotta be a Queen. And it's important to big salute our black women because they need love with all the hate that comes with being a Black Queen in America.
Speaking of time, a lot of women feel pressure to settle down and build a family by a certain age. What are your thoughts on this and do you ever feel that pressure as well?
I think when some women start thinking of having kids, they start to feel that pressure. Me as a man, I've been single most of my life. Now I'm 40, and I have been thinking, 'Am I gonna be single forever, or am I gonna have a family and have some type of legacy to leave behind for kids and grandkids?' That's where I am in life. I wouldn't run from love if I found it but at the same time, I'm happy where I am, being single. But if I found the right person I would give it a shot.
Interesting, why do you think you’ve been single for most of your life?
Because I'm so engulfed in what I do and my work. It's hard for me to even hold down a real relationship. And when you're a rapper and your job is not planned like a 9 to 5, it's hard to connect with other people because life can be so random. Then a lot of women may not believe you actually have to work when you set your schedule.
Also, being single isn't too bad in Houston (laughs), there's a lot of beautiful women out here. But after that, what? It's cool for a little bit but then you start feeling like you're wasting your years. I don't wanna keep wasting two years here or three years there either. I want to find a woman that when we go on trips, we can talk about it when we're 60. I think everybody wants that.
"There's a lot of beautiful women out here. But after that, what? It's cool for a little bit but then you start feeling like you're wasting your years. I don't wanna keep wasting two years here or three years there either. I want to find a woman that when we go on trips, we can talk about it when we're 60. I think everybody wants that."
Courtesy of Slim Thug
We’re talking a lot about relationships. But what about simply dating and getting to know someone. From a man’s perspective, if you could give a piece of advice to women looking for love, what would it be?
I don't think women give enough opportunity. A lot of them are on guard from people who approach them on the regular. Don't shut people down so fast. A lot of time women don't give men outside their type a chance. Just thinking outside of the box and not being so quick to shut people down can help. If there's one thing you don't like, you may be able to figure it out. You aren't gonna get 100 percent, but if you can get enough out of one person, you can work it out with them.
Now I’ve gotta tell you when listening to past interviews, I've heard you tell some crazy dating stories. I think I even heard a story about you dating a mom and daughter once. How have your views on dating and relationships changed over time?
That's part of why I'm single, because of how my lifestyle was and the things I've seen and done with girlfriends and married women. It scares you, you think it's cool or player at the time, but it makes you have trust issues in the long run. That's what had me for a lot of my life and that's what probably still bothers me today, it's hard for me to trust people. It takes me a long time. I'm not the guy that's gonna jump into a relationship. We have to get to know each other and I know that takes time.
Is that another problem? Do you feel like a lot of women have pushed too quickly for ownership and monogamy?
Not really, I've dealt with women who have been patient with me honestly and we've had great times. It's been a small issue, but I don't think that's the biggest problem in my dating life. If you want to be that woman, I'm gonna expect a lot from you. A lot of my time and years went to temporary stuff. It was a relationship and it was cool but it never went further than that.
I’m sure a lot of women aren’t comfortable with you being a rapper because of the lifestyle that can come with it. We hear about side chicks, multiple women, etc. What inner work did you have to do to unlearn some of these unhealthy traits you might have had in the past when approaching love and relationships?
In the beginning, a lot of that stuff is part of being a rapper, that lifestyle and world. But as you get older, you become more real and realize what you want and what you don't want. At 40, I like different things. At the end of the day, I still had a great time regardless of the expectation. And I can stay single and do whatever I want, but I do want to find that dream black queen, a woman who brings something to the table, my missing pieces, someone who will help me be a better man.
"As you get older, you become more real and realize what you want and what you don't want. At 40, I like different things. And I can stay single and do whatever I want, but I do want to find that dream black queen, a woman who brings something to the table, my missing pieces, someone who will help me be a better man."
Courtesy of Slim Thug
So, we have to find her for you! Do you prefer to meet people online or in-person, why or why not?
Online is still new to me. I have been catfished and I have slid in a few DMs. I tried the internet wave and it ain't all bad but social media doesn't paint the whole picture of a person. It doesn't matter to me how we meet, as long as it's real.
Well, I know you don’t mind shooting your shot because we've all seen you playfully slide in Megan Thee Stallion's comments a few times. But what are your views on women DM sliding, and what made you comment on Megan’s post?
I don't see anything wrong with it, let people know what you're thinking. I rather say what's on my mind and you know than never know. It's worked for me a lot of times in my life. And with Megan Thee Stallion, I was just trolling. Well, not trolling, because she's super fine and from Houston, so I definitely watch her (laughs). But when I first heard of her and was getting on to who she was, the word on the street was that she had a boyfriend so I was always kinda joking. But now I see she's in a relationship with Pardi, I think I should have shot my shot for real. I'm playing but I'm serious (laughs).
Well, having known more than you did in the past, and with all your unique experiences, what do you think are the keys to a healthy, loving relationship?
Trust, loyalty, and being a best friend. I want to enjoy spending time with this woman. I want to want to take her places with me. It can't feel like community service. A lot of people settle for different reasons, like children by the person or finances. Whatever I do it has to be real, she has to be my best friend and that's what it is.
So, you don't see yourself settling at all?
I'm not gonna say I wouldn't sacrifice. In a relationship, you're never gonna get everything you want so in that sense I can't say I won't settle, but I do truly want a Black Queen.
You can check out "Black Queen" on all music streaming platforms and follow Slim's candid and entertaining commentary on social media @SlimThug.
Featured image courtesy of Slim Thug
