A Sexpert & Mother Of Five Shares 7 Bedroom Tips That Are Perfect For Moms

A Sexpert & Mother Of Five Shares 7 Bedroom Tips That Are Perfect For Moms


One of the happiest moments in a woman's life is the day she blessed the world with a kiss of life and gives birth to a baby girl or boy. Unfortunately, this is also the day that she can kiss her sex life as she knew it, goodbye. Motherhood is by far the most transformative change in a woman's life. Along with a newfound body and perspective on life, you adopt a gang of next-level insecurities that have the potential to rob both you and your sex life of all of the orgasms that you so rightfully deserve.

Nikki and Simona, founders of the DMV-based Black motherhood organization, District Motherhued, enlisted the help of sexpert, Jasmine Harris, for the second annual Momference to help moms understand that sex after the delivery room doesn't have to suck.

Jasmine recently slid through for an interview and gave xoNecole the secret to having amazing sex after becoming a mom, and according to her, it all starts with being intentional about self-care. "I realized that it was much harder to enjoy sex with all the responsibilities that we have throughout the day and that made me do some research on how we can enjoy sex and not worry about all the things we have to do tomorrow and be in the moment. That was important to me," she explained.

As a mother of four with a little one on the way, Jasmine expressed that she knows the postpartum sex struggle first hand. She told xoNecole, "Self-care is important and when you've just had a child. You're not fitting into your clothes and you're just not looking like yourself or feeling like yourself. And after your husband has watched you push a human out of your body, you're just like, 'You want to put your face down there?'"


Over time and with the help of a whole lot of research, Jasmine learned that the problem with her sex life wasn't her postpartum body, but instead was simply an internal conflict that was manifesting externally. Once she made the decision to step up her self-care game, she immediately saw a change in her bedroom.

When you feel good you look good, and vice versa. Jasmine adopted this mentality after giving birth to her youngest child and at this point, she knew it was time to actively make some changes in her life. The sex and relationship expert explained that unlearning negative self-talk can be a challenge, but as we all know, there's no obstacle that's too difficult for a mother on a mission. Jasmine says the next time you want to complain about the new (and often unwanted) lifestyle changes that come with motherhood, choose to rewrite the narrative.

Along with these tips, Jasmine also let us in on a few sex tips that are perfect for new moms and women in general who are looking to get their sexy back after going through a drought:

Slow Down, Mama


So much of our lives are dictated by deadlines and due dates. One of the few things in life that can never be put on a timer is revving up your babymaker after giving birth. Jasmine agreed with this advice and suggested that women take as much time as they need to get back in the saddle, "Take all the time that you need to find yourself again, to find your confidence."

Your man may be staring at you like a freshly baked piece of apple pie on a Sunday afternoon, but just because he's hungry doesn't mean you're automatically obligated to satiate his appetite. Jasmine advised that you take it slow, but also let your partner know what's up so that he doesn't feel isolated or shut out. She advised, "Make sure that you are communicating this with your partner because this can create a lot of resentment [if left] unspoken."

Treat Yo’ Self

After giving birth, you may not feel like it, but sis, you look like bae.

According to Jasmine, "Mommy" is one of the sexiest things you can be in your life, and it's imperative that you remind yourself of that every damn day in order to keep both your sex life and your sanity running on all four wheels, "[Do] whatever makes you feel beautiful. I noticed that when I do take time to get dressed every day to fix my hair, get my nails done, stay up on my feet and stay up on either waxing or trimming. If I'm feeling beautiful for myself, that helps me feel sexier in the bedroom."

Whether that means getting your hair or makeup done or purchasing a brand new freak'um dress, you're doing you and your partner a favor by standing in your own sexy. Jasmine explained, "And I know we say we don't have time, but we have to make time. Make it. Tell whoever has been or whoever will help you, you need to take this child. I'll be back in a few hours because I will feel better and I will function better if I like what I see."

"If I'm feeling beautiful for myself, that helps me feel sexier in the bedroom. And I know we say we don't have time, but we have to make time. Make it."

Try Using Vitamins & Supplements 

From time to time, we all need a little boost, and according to Jasmine, this is also true when it comes to certain bedroom activities. After giving birth, your hormones are all topsy-turvy and you feel like you've been given a brand new body from the day they wheel you out of the maternity ward.

Jasmine has a solution to those baby blues that is guaranteed to jumpstart your vagina and offer you the ride of a lifetime. She explained, "There are supplements and vitamins that can assist you in getting your mood back and it assists you and helping your muscles come back like, tighten back up, and they're natural supplements. It helps you gain the moisture back [down] there."

Jasmine recommended IsoSensuals Tight Vaginal Tightening Pills, which are currently available on Amazon; but there are a number of other options that will help get your juices flowing in all the right places.

For Him, Too

Moms carry an insurmountable amount of responsibility and stress when they welcome a new baby into the world, but new dads have it pretty hard too. In the same way that women need time to readjust after having a new baby, men go through their fair share of anxiety as well.

Jasmine explained that it's important to keep this in mind and offer a little help when you see it's needed, "It's important to have open communication with your man. So if you feel like you would want him to have more stamina, [it's] because they are also under a lot of stress and pressure and overwhelmed and that kind of kills their stamina and their energy. Then, we think that it's us and they're afraid to say I'm tired or something's not working right."

As previously stated, there are a number of vitamins and supplements that will help you say goodbye to postpartum anxiety and hello to back-to-back orgasms. The good news is, when you're picking up some of these handy dandy vitamins, you can snag a bottle for your man, too. Jasmine shared, "Both of us, both men and women, we need assistance. Especially when we have so much on in life."

Meditation & Deep Breathing


It's 2019, and by now, everyone should be fully aware of the magical power of deep breathing and meditation. Not only does it lower your stress levels, but according to Jasmine, it can help you achieve stronger orgasms.

Thanks to her practice of mindfulness and meditation, the sex expert says that even though she's reached a peak when it comes to her weight, she doesn't feel any less sexy. "Do some meditating. Learn your body. I'm at my heaviest, but it doesn't bother me. I feel very sexy because I've learned my body after a while and I get turned on by myself. And so when you are turned on by yourself, your partner will not be able to resist you."

A man can't please you unless you know how to please yourself, and after having her last child, Jasmine says that she took time to do exactly that. Luckily, her investment was paid off with interest. "When you are able to master deep breathing and inner peace, you'll be able to focus on every little movement during sex and it will be the most amazing mind-blowing experience each and every time you have sex. It is possible to have an orgasm each and every time."

"Learn your body. I'm at my heaviest, but it doesn't bother me. I feel very sexy because I've learned my body after a while and I get turned on by myself. And so when you are turned on by yourself, your partner will not be able to resist you."

Invest In A Sex Chair 

No, we don't mean a chair that you often like to have sex in. A sex chair is an actual thing that will blow your mind and snatch your coins right out of your purse.

Jasmine explained that this functional toy is one of the best investments you'll make in your sex life and is ideal for postpartum moms who may be self-conscious during sex. "[They] are just perfectly made for you to just climb on there and let your man go to work. And again, you're enjoying it, but your body is looking perfect because these chairs are designed to make you look sexy and just position you perfectly."

Forget about making that arch in your back picture-perfect and level up your sex game with this erotic piece of furniture ASAP.

Date Night Is Non-Negotiable


Mama, I know you love your babies. But there comes a time when you must reclaim your tit and remember that it's more than just a milk bag for your little one, and the best way to do that is by planning an intimate date night between you and your partner. Jasmine explained that having four kids is no walk in the park, but she and her man keep their relationship spicy by making date nights mandatory.

"First, you have to remember that before the children got there, it was you two," she explained. "And a lot of people get that misconstrued. They think that that means put your partner first, and in a way it does. But you have to say, 'OK, you guys are kids. We are the adults. We're gonna give you the balance of attention and love and discipline that you need throughout the day. But by this time, y'all going to sleep. And y'all are going to calm down.'"

Making romance and self-care a priority as a mother can never be a bad idea because when you're happy, that energy radiates. This is also true when you're grumpy and in need of some grade-A vitamin D. That's why Jasmine says that along with date night, enforcing bedtimes is a standard in her household that keeps her relationship and her sex life in check. "You have to make it a thing where they know that it is no longer time to interrupt mommy or daddy. Even if you guys just want to watch a movie, they need to know that it's time to respect mommy and daddy's quiet time and it is their bedtime."

Keep up with Jasmine and see all of the coverage from this year's Momference on Instagram!

Keep up with Jasmine and see all of the coverage from this year's Momference on Instagram!

Featured image by Instagram/@mileeju.

Tia Mowry Is Reminding Us All About The Power Of Setting Boundaries And Self-Love

Tia Mowry is choosing self-love as a path to happiness, which may be the reason behind her glow. While she announced on Instagram that she was divorcing her husband of 14 years, Cory Hardrict, she is focusing on herself. In an interview with Access Hollywood, which took place days before she announced her divorce, the mother of two shared the secret behind her recent glow.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Tiwa Savage Shares The Foundation-Less Beauty Routine That Enhances Her Glow

Tiwa Savage is one of Afrobeats' biggest stars and with such a hectic schedule and being a mom, she managed to take time out of her day to share her skin care routine with fans. Check out her Beauty Secrets with Vogue below:

Keep reading...Show less
If You're Not Skin Cycling Already, Here's Why You Should

Another day, another TikTok trend that's all the rage. Many TikTok trends are gimmicks without any scientific backing. Or, in the case of the NyQuil chicken trend that took off, just plain dangerous. However, one has bubbled up to the surface that is worth investigating. Enter: skin cycling.

Keep reading...Show less
How Yoga Helped Peloton's Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts Heal From Past Traumas

Since her Peloton debut in May of 2020, Chelsea Jackson Roberts, Ph.D., has become one of the most sought-after yoga instructors on the app. Using a mixture of hip-hop, R&B, classical, gospel, house, and funk-themed classes, the Dayton, OH native guides Peloton users across the globe, in the weekly practice of feeling connected with the body and the breath as they “root down and rise up.” With many leaving her classes feeling more grounded and anchored than they were when they started, it’s easy to see how the former Lululemon Global Ambassador and two-time Yoga Journal cover star has made such an impact. While her background as a third-grade school teacher and founder of Yoga, Literature, and Art Camp lends to her influence, her journey to becoming a world-renowned celebrity yoga instructor was not met without tragedy.

Keep reading...Show less
Your October 2022 Horoscopes Are All About Finding Flow & Alignment

October is a month of balance. With some energy moving direct and some energy moving retrograde, there is a middle ground to find this month between what is unfolding and what you are letting go. The month begins with Mercury officially moving out of retrograde and going direct in Virgo. Mercury this month is cleaning house and sprucing things up after the somewhat tyrant energy it’s brought over the past few weeks. Now that Mercury is direct, there is less interruption when it comes to daily flow and plans, and this is a good month to start setting things into motion.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Exclusive: Da’Vinchi On Protecting His Peace & Why He Prioritizes Mindset Over Looks In Dating

Exclusive: Da’Vinchi On Protecting His Peace & Why He Prioritizes Mindset Over Looks In Dating

“To me, what’s bigger than just the ‘eye test’ is the brains."

Latest Posts