Over the years, celebrities have served as a source of inspiration for fans worldwide, showcasing their remarkable journeys toward personal and professional success.
However, recently, many have offered glimpses into their love lives, sharing valuable insights about how they have manifested their romantic relationships. The act of manifesting, which is turning a thought or an idea into reality, isn't something new.
According to The Guardian, the concept was previously introduced in the 19th century and made its "resurgence in 2006" thanks to the best-selling self-help bookThe Secret. Since then, it has become a popular topic once again, especially after various celebrities have admitted to manifesting their perfect partner and career.
Below is a list of celebrities who manifested their relationship.
Yo Gotti
No one could mention the power of manifestation without talking about rapper Mario "Yo Gotti" Mims.
The 42-year-old is a prime example of how persistence and patience can help one find their ideal partner after landing his dream girl, reality star and entrepreneur Angela Simmons.
Although Mims and Simmons' announced that they were officially an item in December 2022, the pair's love story dates back to 2015 when the emcee expressed interest in the star in his hit song "Down in the DMs."
In the lyrics, Mims revealed that he developed a crush on Simmons after following her on social media and wasn't afraid to let the world know.
"And I just followed Angela (Simmons). Boy, I got a crush on Angela Simmons. They like, 'Damn Gotti, you bold.' F--k it. I'm gon' let the world know (goals)," the lyrics read.
Despite Mims' shooting his shot, in 2016, Simmons announced that she was engaged to businessman Sutton Tennyson. The former couple welcomed their son Sutton Tennyson Jr. that same year. In December 2017, more than a year after having their son, Simmons and Tennyson confirmed they had gone their separate ways.
Sadly following their split, Tennyson was fatally shot in 2018 in his Atlanta home after a heated argument with a man named Michael Williams. Williams was ultimately sentenced to life in prison.
In recent years, Simmons kept a relatively low profile regarding dating. The mother of one was previously linked to boxer Daniel Jacobs from 2020 to 2021. But in September 2022, Simmons made headlines after being spotted hanging out with Mims at her 35th birthday party and reciting the infamous lyrics to "Down in the DMs." The dating rumors continued when the couple attended numerous events together.
Since officially announcing their relationship, Mims and Simmons have become couple goals to many because of the love they have showcased in person and on social media.
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky
A$AP Rocky (L) and Rihanna (R).
Photo by Gotham/GC Images
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky's romance may have started as a platonic relationship. Still, after developing a bond dating back to 2012 and their similar interests in fashion, music, and opinions on love, it would become apparent that the duo was meant for each other.
Rihanna and Rocky, who frequently supported one another over the years both personally and professionally, officially began dating in 2020, and the couple's union generated buzz online because of how pure and light-hearted their relationship appeared to be.
The pair would welcome their first child RZA Mayers in 2022. Less than a year later, the "Work" singer announced that she and Rocky were expecting baby number two during her Super Bowl performance.
As Rihanna and Rocky's love continues to grow, a TikTok user pieced together two separate interviews from the “Cockiness (Love It)” remix collaborators describing the type of relationship they each want. The clip is also made up of photos of the couple basking in their love showing they they manifested one another.
"I want a man that loves me, cherishes me, values me. But they have to know my value in order to value me. I want fun times," the 35-year-old said. "I want fun, fun times. I want to laugh. I want laughs more than anything."
Further in the video, the “L$D” rapper shared that he was ready to experience genuine love and was patiently waiting for the right person.
"See, here is the thing, love, if you go looking for it you not going to find it. You not man, because love comes to you. You know it's like a gift. You got to try to stay humble and not block your blessing," he said.
Ciara and Russell Wilson
Let’s get into another couple who manifested one another, Ciara and Russell Wilson. The beloved pair, who began dating in 2015 after meeting at an NBC wrap party, have been happily married for almost seven years.
Ciara and Russell also have a blended family of three children. The couple share a daughter Sienna Wilson, 6, and a 2-year-old son Win Wilson. In addition to their two children, the "Goodies" singer has a son Future Wilburn, 9, with rapper and ex-fiancé Future.
Over the years, as Ciara and Russell's love story evolved publicly and on social media, many acquired the specific prayer the "Level Up" vocalist said to land her perfect mate following her failed relationship with Future.
In 2019, during an interview with Angie Martinez, Ciara revealed that after experiencing a public breakup with Future, reportedly due to infidelity on the rapper's part, she prayed for a God-fearing man that loved children and someone that she could learn from, among other qualities.
" I prayed for a God-fearing man. I prayed for discernment. I prayed for wisdom, to really learn from the wisdom that I'm gaining from the experience that I'm going through," she said. "I prayed for a man that loved kids, because, obviously me having my son, if you're gonna love me, you've gotta love him. I prayed for a man that was worldly as well. Because I love to explore. So someone that was gonna edify my world, that was important to me. I was ready to level up!"
Also, in the discussion, Ciara disclosed that the night she met Russell, she knew he was the one based on the tranquil feeling they experienced around each other.
"I remember looking at my husband the first night we met — it's like a movie — when we talk about our story back to each other, we both have the same feelings… It was a calm feeling all over my body," she stated. "I also remember looking at him, and I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And I couldn't remember half of what he was saying…but when you know, you know."
On the other hand, as people continuously asked for Ciara's prayer to attract a perfect mate, many may have missed that Russell also manifested their relationship.
In 2015 during his appearance at The Rock Church in San Diego, Russell shared that before meeting Ciara, he knew that they would wind up together.
"I told somebody that's the girl I want to be with before I even met her. I was like, 'I'm probably going to end up with Ciara.' She's a special girl," he said.
Since then, Ciara and Russell have continued to display that true love exists in various ways, including their constant support of one another.
Keke Palmer
Keke Palmer (L) and Darius Jackson (R).
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
The third person on the list is actress Keke Palmer.
The 29-year-old is currently dating longtime partner Darius Jackson, and earlier this year, the couple expanded their family by welcoming their son Leodis Jackson.
During a May discussion on the Baby Its Keke Palmer podcast, Palmer revealed that before she started dating Jackson in 2021, she had used manifestation as a tool to attract her perfect mate.
In the conversation, Palmer shared that she created a list of qualities she wanted her significant other to embody, which included a family man and someone who didn't takes themselves too seriously, to name a few.
"My partner is, in so many ways, everything. I mean, obviously not perfect. I'm not perfect. No one's perfect. But it's like you are literally everything I visualized, and I say that all the time to him and he's like, 'No way, Jose.' And I'm like, 'Yes way, Jose,'" she said.
"I always wanted a man that was not so overly obsessed with being masculine, you know what I mean? Still had masculine energy, but also welcomed the softness that feminine energy can give. Somebody that's had a good relationship with their mother, someone that didn't take themselves too seriously, somebody that was a little bit, you know, cheesy and corny in all the right ways, but still knew how to dress and gave me a vibe every now and then."
To date, Palmer and Jackson have displayed that it is possible to have it all by successfully maintaining their personal and professional relationship.
Jodie Turner-Smith
Actress Jodie Turner-Smith's love story with her husband, actor Joshua Jackson, may have begun unconventionally in 2018 after meeting at Usher's birthday party in Los Angeles, California.
Still, Smith-Turner's confession about having a crush on Jackson's Dawson Creek character Pacey Witter proved their relationship was destined. In a 2021 interview with W Magazine, the Queen & Slim star opened up about her fascination with Jackson's character, which began when she was a teenager.
"My first cinematic crush was Pacey from Dawson's Creek. I was like a very young teenager. I didn't have any posters because my parents were not down with that type of thing. It was like, 'I'm just interested in books and Dawson's Creek,'" she said.
Turner-Smith's admiration for Jackson came to a head when they officially met in 2018. In another interview with Seth Meyers on his late-night talk show Late Night with Seth Meyers, Turner-Smith disclosed that while playing hard to get after Jackson noticed her at the party, the couple would have a one-night stand which ultimately turned into a full-blown relationship.
"I saw him before he saw me and when I saw him, I was like, 'I want that. And then when he saw me, I just pretended like I didn't see him," she said. "When I first met my husband, we had a one-night stand. We're in a two, three-year one-night stand now."
Since that fateful night, Smith-Turner and Jackson have gotten married and welcomed a daughter Janie Jackson in 2020. To this day, the couple continues to rave about their relationship and the life they have built.
Jason Momoa
The last person on the list is actor Jason Momoa.
Although Momoa and his estranged wife, actress Lisa Bonet are currently going through divorce proceedings, he has shared in the past how he predicted his relationship with The Cosby Show star.
In a 2018 interview with The Late Late Show With James Corden, the Game Of Thrones star revealed that after seeing Bonet on television as a child, he knew he wanted to be with her and did everything he could to make it happen.
"Ever since I was like, eight years old and I saw [Lisa] on the TV, I was like, 'Mommy, I want that one. I'm like, 'I'm going to stalk you for the rest of my life and I'm going to get you,'" he said
"But yeah, just always wanted to meet her. She was a queen, always."
The former couple would meet in 2005 at a jazz club. Momoa disclosed that following their interaction, he convinced Bonet to take him home, and after that night, the pair became an item.
"We just happened to be in the right place at the right time... I had fireworks going off inside, man. I convinced her to take me home because I was living in a hotel, " he stated. Momoa and Bonet dated for twelve years before getting married in 2017. The pair also welcomed two children, Lola Momoa, 15, and 14-year-old Nakoa Momoa.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
GiphyWhenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
GiphyAs I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
GiphyIt’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
GiphyDuring the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
____
Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
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Featured image by Giphy