10 Romantic Dates You Can Go On (In Your Own Home)
Not too long ago, while looking up some wedding data, I read a published study on The Knot that literally had me shaking my head. It was talking about how often married couples go on dates. The findings weren't very impressive. I'll put it to you this way—while 11 percent went on dates once or more a week, 30 percent only did it once a month and 36 percent hardly ever had one. That really is kind of disturbing considering most of us have heard that the way we get someone is the way we should keep them. Plus, dating shouldn't be seen as merely a way to woo someone into being in a relationship; it should also be about wanting to spend real quality time with them. No matter how long two individuals have been together, that should never get old.
If you totally agree but the challenge is that your lifestyle (hard to find a babysitter), budget (need to save most of your coins) or current circumstances (like a roaring pandemic that is happening at the time that I am writing this) are what's preventing you and yours for being as romantic as you'd like, I've got a few ways where the two of you can still date each other from the comfort, convenience and safety of your own home.
1. Have a Spa Day (or Night)
Something that can be romantic and sexy while also being a way to de-stress is to create a spa-themed date. It can consist of things like giving each other massages with aphrodisiac essential oils (see "Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage" and "8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last") and doing some reflexology on one another, to taking a soothing bath together; one that consists of DIY bath soak recipes. Make sure that you take luxury to another level by warming up your towels in the dryer before using them, picking up some rose petals to put into your foot soak or bathwater, lighting some soy scented candles, opening up a bottle of wine, and turning off all of your electronics (except maybe a device for some background music).
2. Binge-Watch a Series from Your College Years
Call it blinded nostalgia if you want to, but some of my favorite television-watching years was the early 90s. A Different World. Living Single. Martin. In Living Color. Yeah, those were the days. If you were in college then, take a walk down memory lane by binge-watching some of those shows with your significant other. Whether you knew each other or not at the time, it can bring up all kinds of memories and fun stories. You can take it up a notch and eat some of the same foods that you did while you were hanging out in your campus's university center. (By the way, this suggestion applies to any television era; the early 90s is simply my personal favorite.)
3. Put a Twist to Sip & Paint
Pretty much every city has at least one place where you can go to take painting classes while you sip on a glass of wine (or some other alcoholic beverage that tickles your fancy). Put a twist on that by throwing a very private and personal sip & paint at your house. Sure, you can put up easel if you want to. But I have something a bit more erotic in mind.
How about making some of your own body paint (or you can purchase some edible body paint, in a variety of different colors, here), stripping down to your underwear (or less) and painting each other? It's something that is both sexually stimulating and really fun at the same time; especially if you bring that bottle of red wine (which is a big time aphrodisiac) into the equation. #bottomsup
4. Go on a “Travel-Themed” Date
There are a couple of different ways to have a travel-themed date night in your house. One way is to either order or prepare foods that represent another country. You know, maybe a pasta dish to represent Italy or a Greek salad to represent Greece. The cool thing about this idea is your date can be any time of the day. For instance, maybe you want to make some Rabanadas (which is basically Portuguese French Toast) for a breakfast or brunch date, or a couple of bowls of Vegetable Pad Thai (which represents Thailand) late at night. Selecting foods based on a particular place can be a great way to expand your palate while bonding if you plan on preparing the dishes together.
Another approach to a travel-themed date is to put on some soft music, light some soy scented candles and hop on Instagram or Pinterest to plan a dream vacation together. And just where would you get the money to pay for it? Check out "5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar". If you play your cards right, planning the date will be nothing more than a creative foreplay move (if you catch my drift).
5. Make a Disco Ball and Dance the Night Away
The more that you and your partner touch each other, the more oxytocin will surge throughout your systems to make you feel emotionally close and physically connected. So, why not have a night when you turn off most of the lights, put on your favorite music playlist and dance all night long? You can make it feel more like a "formal date" by actually dressing up and even hanging a homemade DIY disco ball from your ceiling. If the ball is something that you'd like to try, you can get some fairly easy step-by-step instructions here.
6. Design Your Own Drive-In (in Your Backyard)
Who said that you had to spend a mini mint on movie theater tickets? Buy some candy, pop some popcorn and watch your favorite flick from the comfort of your own backyard by setting up your own drive-in experience. For this idea, it all depends on how sophisticated you want it to be. You can purchase a projector and put together an entire set-up (click here, here, here or check out a great Dollar Tree video here for some tips on how to do that). Or, you can simply take your computer outdoors and watch a movie on that if you just want a change of scenery.
7. Enjoy a Sports Night Together
Even though there is apparently a scientific reason for why men like sports more than women do, there was a Gallup poll from a few years ago that said 51 percent of women consider themselves to be some pretty diehard sports fans too. If you are one of them, another date idea is to have a sports night at home. There's not much to this one. Simply order up some hot wings or pizza, crack open a couple of bottles of beer and watch a game or competition to your hearts' content.
8. Have a Video Games Competition
It's a huge misconception that it's only men who enjoy playing video games. In fact, one study revealed that as much as 46 percent of women consider themselves to be avid gamers. If you happen to fall into that demographic, have a video game competition with your man. If you'd prefer to take it back to old school retro stuff, articles like "The 6 Best Sites to Buy Retro Games Online" can help to point you in the right direction of finding vintage consoles and game cartridges. Just make sure that you come up with a really sexy prize for the winner in order to make this date all the more…stimulating.
9. Transform Your Bedroom into a Hotel Room
The married people in my world know that I advocate for them having as much sex as they possibly can. I try and put my money where my mouth is by sometimes putting couples up in hotel rooms or a bed and breakfast, free of charge. If money is a little tight right now and you can't afford to book a reservation, how about transforming your bedroom into a hotel room?
Purchase some new white 300-count (or more) sheets and then apply the triple-sheeting technique where you put a thin blanket in between your top sheet and your actual comforter for more of a layered and hotel-like feel. Buy a couple of terry cloth robes. Put together a toiletry basket with things like candles, massage oil and fruits in it. Get a three-way light bulb for your lamps. Invest in a blackout curtain (so that you can sleep in the following morning). Consider investing in a sound machine or hopping onto YouTube to listen to ASMR ocean waves or rain videos.
Little touches like these can easily make you feel less like you're in your same ole' bedroom and more like you're in a five-star suite.
10. Create Your Own Bed & Breakfast
If you decide to try the hotel room date, make the moment last even longer by waking up to some good old-fashioned morning sex, followed by a breakfast that both of you make together. If the two of you want to go a couple of more rounds after, make sure that your meal consists of aphrodisiac foods like blueberries, honey, avocados, dark chocolate and ginger. Like maybe a bowl of berries and whipped cream, some chocolate chip pancakes and/or an avocado omelet with some ginger tea. Oh, and don't forget to put it all on a tray and eat it in bed. It'll be the perfect way to end a date—or start an entirely new one, if you know what I mean.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
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Featured image by Solmaz Saberi
Mushroom Skincare Could Be What Gets Your Skin Through The Rest Of Winter
Even though, once Valentine’s Day is over, folk pretty much act like the winter season has ended too, technically, wintertime is over on March 19 (this year), which means that we’ve (potentially) got a few weeks of bitter cold temps to deal with — and that means you still need to be hypervigilant when it comes to doing what it takes to keep your skin from drying out due to things like freezing weather, brisk winds and the super dry heat of HVAC units. One way to do that is to invest in some mushroom skincare.
Honestly, you’d have to be living under a rock to not have at least heard mushrooms come up as far as skin maintenance is concerned. I say that because it really is one of the hottest things going right now. If you’re curious about why, take a few moments to read the rest of this article. It might just convince you to add a few mushroom-infused products to your skincare routine…not just for the rest of the winter but well into spring as well.
Why Is Mushroom Skincare Such a Big Trend Right Now?
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I’ll be honest: beyond the fact that I find mushrooms to be a great meat alternative (check out “10 Foods That Make Eating Less Meat...Easier”) and also knowing that since I have a fungus sensitivity, I need to consume them in moderation (because mushrooms are a type of fungus), I don’t really give mushrooms much thought. I did when it came to penning this piece, though, because even I was curious about why I’m hearing about mushrooms everywhere I turn.
For starters, since mushrooms, in general, are a good source of vitamin D, are great for your immunity, and they contain antioxidants that help to prevent cell damage — that’s already reason enough for it to be used in skincare, wouldn’t you say? Not to mention that they also have zinc, vitamin B, and potassium in them.
Then there’s the fact that many of the mushrooms that are used in some of the popular skincare brands also have minerals and prebiotics in them that are really good at maintaining the quality and texture of your skin. If you add to that, they are good for the environment because mushrooms are plentiful, vegan, and cruelty-free to use — it’s a win all the way around for mushroom (and mushroom-infused) skincare products. Hands down.
5 Proven Things That Make Mushroom Skincare So Effective
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If you’re teetering on considering purchasing at least one mushroom-related skincare item yet you’d still like some concrete ways that it can take your skin from good to great, I think I can knock out five of ‘em for you.
1. Mushrooms have veratric acid in them. Specifically, cauliflower mushrooms are abundant in this molecule. This is good to know because it is full of antioxidants as well as anti-inflammatory properties that are able to lower stress levels in the skin, soften the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and even reduce the amount of DNA damage that has been done to your skin over time.
2. Many mushrooms also have kojic acid and beta-glucans in them as well. Whether you’re looking for something that will speed up the healing process of acne or you want to clear up the hyperpigmentation that blemishes can sometimes leave behind, kojic acid (that is found in shiitake mushrooms, for example) can make that happen for you. On the other hand, if you want to create a moisture barrier for your skin, beta-glucans (that are in a variety of different mushrooms) have that covered; good to know if you’re someone who spends quite a bit of time in the crisp winter air.
3. Mushroom polysaccharides are the holy grail when it comes to skin hydration. If dry skin is what you’re trying to stay on top of, especially during this time of the year, that’s just one more reason to cop a few mushroom-related skin products. Some studies reveal that the polysaccharides (which is actually a type of carbohydrate) in them is able to retain more moisture than even hyaluronic acid — and boy, is that saying something!
4. Mushrooms also contain adaptogenic properties. Remember how I mentioned a second ago that veratric acid can help alleviate some of the stress that’s in your skin? The adaptogenic properties that are in mushrooms can do something similar. This is good to know because the less resistant your skin is to stress, the less you have to worry about things like breakouts, wrinkles, and increased skin inflammation (and yes, wintertime can cause quite a bit of skin inflammation if you’re not careful).
5. Mushrooms can help to prevent dark spots and age spots. Now, y’all already know that we’ve got big love for melanin over here. However, sometimes, the overproduction of it can lead to dark spots and age spots that you may not want. This is another way that mushrooms can come in handy because they actually contain melanin-inhibiting compounds that can make those spots something that you can prevent without relying on harsh chemicals and other not-so-natural ingredients.
If all of this intel finally has you convinced about giving some mushroom skincare products a try, yet you’re not sure where to begin as far as what kind to use, Women’s Health published an article entitled, “15 Mushroom-Infused Skincare Products That Will Turn Back The Clock, According To Dermatologists.” Shroomer published “12 of the Best Mushroom Products for Every Skincare Concern;” it’s worth looking into, too.
Are There Any Downsides to Mushroom Skincare?
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Now that you’ve heard me sing all of the praises of mushroom (and mushroom-infused) skincare, you might be curious if it has any downsides or “cons” to it. Good question. Overall, the answer is “no.” The only real exception is if you already have a mushroom or fungus sensitivity. However, just to be on the safe side, it can never hurt to do a small skin test before totally going ham. If, after 72 hours, you don’t notice any skin irritation, you should be good to go.
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Welp. There you have it. Something that can give your skin some extra hydration and glow during the last leg of winter. Shoot, you might end up liking it so much that you’ll use it during the milder side of the spring season, too. Enjoy!
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