
Generation To Generation: Courtney Adeleye On Black Hair, Healing, And Choice
This article is in partnership with Target.
For many Black women, getting a relaxer was a rite of passage, an inheritance passed down from the generation before us, and perhaps even before her. It marked the transition from Black girlhood to adolescence. Tight coils, twisted plaits, and the clickety-clack of barrettes were traded for chemical perms and the familiar sting of scalp burns.
A Black girl ushering in her era of straight hair was an unspoken but understood tradition, a legacy shaped by women who learned that relaxers were the key to manageability and beauty, as society had defined it.
Though relaxers were a product of their time, the memories many of us share from that era of creamy-white, no-lye formulas also carry a collective trauma. It was one endured in the name of beauty standards we didn’t question until we did. It’s an experience that Courtney Adeleye, founder and CEO of Watch & Sea Beauty, knows all too well. And one that ultimately shaped her path into the hair care space.
In xoNecole’s Generation to Generation, created in partnership with Target, Courtney reflects on her hair journey alongside her daughter during a BTS video from their mother-daughter photoshoot. As she is seen applying product to her daughter’s braids, she begins talking about her experience with perms before going natural. Her daughter pauses and asks a simple yet revealing question: “What’s a relaxer?”

Credit: Darnell Brown
Courtney explains that it’s a chemical process that makes Black hair “pretty much permanently straight.” She then recalls getting her first relaxer at 13, a moment that remains vivid in her memory decades later. “My head was on fire,” she says in the video. “It’s nothing I remember in a good way. It’s something I’m like, ‘This can’t be.’” Their exchange is as striking as it is revelatory.
Unlike generations before her, Courtney’s daughter will never have to know relaxers as the rite of passage that once felt inevitable for so many Black girls. Thanks to entrepreneurs like Courtney, natural hair is no longer treated as the exception but upheld as the standard. As something to be celebrated, nurtured, and protected.
Generation to generation, her work helps ensure that Black girls can grow up with hair journeys rooted in appreciation, care, and choice, instead of one etched in pain, trauma, or assimilation.
In that way, Courtney isn’t just changing how we care for our hair; she’s paying it forward, crafting a legacy her daughters and future generations of Black women after them get to inherit.
That legacy didn’t begin with hair. Courtney credits her own mother, a nurse like she once was, for being the blueprint for what entrepreneurship could look like. “I got a chance to see my mother take a sheet of paper, cut it up in little rectangles, take that to a printing shop, and turn it into a card game,” she tells her daughter in a different scene. Those early lessons planted the seeds for what would later become The Mane Choice, a hair care brand born from her desire to create safer, healthier alternatives for Black hair that didn't compromise on performance.
After starting The Mane Choice in 2013 with just $500, Courtney worked tirelessly to build a hair empire that would go on to surpass $100 million in sales in only six years. She later sold the brand in 2019 for an undisclosed amount, cementing her place among the Black women entrepreneurs who have turned purpose and vision into industry-defining impact.
“Everything that we do is a stepping stone,” Courtney says in the video. “So how do I take what I’ve done as a nurse and turn it into what I’m doing?”

Credit: Darnell Brown
Today, that full circle is the gift that gives, and Black history is still being written, not just by women like Courtney, but by the little Black girls watching, learning, and asking questions that open new doors. Watch & Sea Beauty marks a return for the entrepreneur that reflects purpose, growth, resilience, and trust built over time.
From generation to generation, the way we love and care for our hair tells a bigger story: one of healing, innovation, and what we now have the freedom to choose for ourselves. Courtney’s contributions to Black hair and beauty are truly unmatched, not simply because of what she’s built, but because of what she’s shifted our hair stories: the narrative, the standard, and the future.
Her work is the legacy that lives in what we make possible for the women who come next.
Featured image by Darnell Brown
Why A Solo Trip To Aruba Was The Nervous System Reset I Needed This Winter
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I host every year, from intimate dinner parties to holiday movie nights and even bigger holiday parties for my business. I’m also always the person who encourages others this time of year who are navigating grief, but this year I found myself holding more than I could carry.
2025 was a beautiful year, one marked by growth, travel, and wins I worked hard for, but it also carried profound grief. The day before Thanksgiving, my godfather, who helped raise me and had been a second father to me my entire life, passed away. On the day of his funeral, my grandfather was admitted to the hospital as he began treatment.
By the time December arrived, especially as a Jersey girl going to see the tree at Rockefeller Center in the city, enjoying the holiday bars, time with my family, all the holiday rituals that once brought me joy, decorating my tree, and planning holiday outings, felt distant.
I wasn’t burned out from doing too much. I was exhausted from holding everything. I realized I didn’t need to host or attend a holiday party. I needed to halt. I needed a pause.
So I packed my bags and took a solo trip to Aruba.

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Ironically, Embassy Suites was my happy place growing up.
My birthdays were marked by pool parties and sleepovers, and swimming became my earliest form of regulation. Years later, that instinct returned. When life feels unsteady, I go back to the water. Whether it’s swimming indoors at the gym, at local pools, or in the ocean, water calms me. There felt like no better way to let my body finally exhale than spending four days alone, surrounded by the sea.
I love a baecation, a girls’ trip, and a family vacation just as much as the next person — cousins’ trips are still my favorite, sorry to the rest of my family — but this time, I needed rest and silence. Total quiet outside of my Spotify playlist and the sound of waves. A break from my titles — from being the reliable one, the founder, the social media manager, the journalist, the one who’s always available, the oldest daughter.
As Black women, we’re often taught to hold everything together long before anyone asks us to. I didn’t grow up seeing the women who raised me vacation much. They did occasionally travel, but I saw them work more than anything. They held all the titles they taught me to hold (and then some), and they still do. Before the plane even took off, both of my phones were ringing nonstop.
The need for rest wasn’t theoretical, dramatic, or a TikTok cliché of how a vacation would heal me - it was urgent.

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Where I Stayed
Staying at the Embassy Suites by Hilton Aruba Resort, which opened in 2023, made slowing down feel possible. While Embassy Suites is often associated with business or family travel, the Aruba property is one of eight Embassy Suites resorts worldwide — designed as a true resort experience rather than a traditional hotel stay.

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One of the most grounding features of the property is its direct underground walkway to the beach, allowing guests to move from the hotel to the shoreline safely and seamlessly. Upon arrival, I was met with private palapas reserved for hotel guests, calm, clear waters, and a family-friendly experience where infants, adults, and even pets were welcome (yes, I felt guilty for leaving my dog, but again - I needed the rest lol.)
While it isn’t marketed as a wellness hotel, there were thoughtful nods to well-being throughout the stay.
Daily movement offerings like yoga, Pilates, and water aerobics were available throughout the week, adding to the resort’s offerings as well as a kids club, a gym, and many rooms to hold meetings and celebrations.

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Each morning began slowly with a complimentary breakfast at Brickstone Kitchen, featuring local tropical fruits and a made-to-order omelette bar. Brickstone Café offered an easy stop for coffee throughout the day, reinforcing the unhurried pace of the resort, and daily, I sat outside overlooking the ocean, taking in the view and the waves.
Snorkeling and Enjoying Cultural Cuisine
Beyond the hotel, I explored Aruba through moments that felt equally restorative. I snorkeled with Red Sail Aruba, swimming in some of the clearest water I’ve ever seen. I enjoyed beef croquette, pastechi, and the country’s official cocktail, the Aruba Ariba — a drink invented by a Hilton bartender more than sixty years ago. Those moments made me feel present, not like a visitor rushing through.

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Dining & the Nervous System Moment
Dinner at Brickstones Restaurant, led by Barbadian-born Executive Sous Chef Andre Nurse, became one of the most defining moments of the trip. I expected to enjoy rotating fish-of-the-day selections — from mahi-mahi to sea bass, alongside fresh ceviche and surf-and-turf plates featuring sirloin with coconut curry shrimp. And I did. But during my first dinner, overlooking the property and the beach as the sun began to set, something unexpected happened.
As I waited for my meal, I could feel the stress leaving my body. A full-body tingle moved through me. My shoulders softened. My breath slowed. My body shifted out of fight-or-flight and finally stood down. I experienced a parasympathetic release.

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According to Harvard Health, the parasympathetic nervous systemacts like a brake after stress, calming the body once danger has passed. I didn’t realize how long my body had been bracing until it stopped. I closed my eyes, let the chills move through me, and surrendered to the calm I had been needing. For the first time in weeks, my nervous system stopped bracing. It was like my body was telling me to slow down and finally listen.
Seeing the Island, Fully

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On my final evening, I experienced Aruba beyond the resort when the hotel’s marketing director offered to drive me around the island — a gesture that became one of the highlights of my trip. We revisited Eagle Beach, continued north to the California Lighthouse — a historic beacon built in the early 20th century and perched at the island’s northern tip — and took in panoramic views that made Aruba’s stillness feel even more profound.
We ended the night with a stop at Starbucks Aruba and a conversation about the island’s long-standing connection to aloe. Long before it became a global skincare staple, aloe was one of Aruba’s primary exports, thriving in the island’s dry climate and shaping a local industry that still exists today. Learning that history — how the land itself has long been used for healing — added another layer to the experience.
Aruba brought me face-to-face with what I’d been avoiding: radical self-care and sustainable practices that root me even when life feels unsteady. I returned home lighter — not because my circumstances had changed, but because my body remembered what safety feels like.
I came back to my family, the remainder of the holiday season, and my work with a clearer sense of what I need to protect moving forward, and dedicated to the next adventure
Featured image by Shutterstock
Something that I used to start my weekend off with (that I need to get back to doing) was picking up some fresh flowers to either put in my living room or bedroom. They're not just pretty and uber feminine; flowers in your home can relieve stress, improve your mood, and (get this) even improve your memory over time. In fact, the only downside that I can see is how quickly they die after getting them.
That's where this article comes in. If, like me, you adore having flowers bloom in your space, yet you can't financially justify getting a new batch every couple of days, here are some fresh floral hacks that can at least double the amount of time your flowers have (probably) been lasting at your place.
1. Make Your Own Flower Food
Did you know that if you take proper care of your flowers, they can last for as long as 12-14 days? One way to up your chances of this happening is to "feed them." They need some (white) sugar to stay in full bloom, citric acid to reduce the chances of your petals wilting, and, if you want to keep bacteria at bay, bleach can make that happen.
Two of the best "foods" that I've seen consist of a half-crushed aspirin in a cup of water or two tablespoons of fresh lemon juice combined with a tablespoon of sugar, a half teaspoon of bleach, and a quart of water. Adding either of these should give your flowers at least an extra week of longevity rather than just water alone.
2. Play Around with Water Temperatures a Bit
So, what if you bought some flowers and most of the buds are tightly closed? No problem. Cut the stems at a slanted 45-degree angle and then put them into a glass of warm water. After a couple of minutes, transfer the flowers to a container of cold water and leave them there for 20 minutes or so. It'll blow your mind, how quickly your flowers open up (kinda like what happens to our energy levels whenever we take a cold shower).
3. Don’t Always Use a Vase
Something that can totally change the appearance of your floral arrangement is to put them in something other than a vase. Teacups, Mason jars, planters, dessert dishes, tea kettles, cookie jars and pitchers are all things that can give your floral presentation a bit of a unique touch.
4. Stack Your Vases When You Do
As far as pretty presentations go, have you ever put a smaller clear vase inside of a larger one? If they're around ½" apart and you add some water and thinly sliced lemons along the side of them, the lemons will look like they are suspended in water. It's a very easy way to create a beautiful centerpiece.
5. Add Some Fruits, Veggies and/or Berries
Speaking of creative centerpieces, a big mistake that a lot of people make is they simply put flowers into a vase and that's it. Adding a couple of limes and tangerines, carrots or blueberries and blackberries (if not all of these things) to a clear container can instantly make your flowers aesthetically pleasing, even if you've only got a few stems of carnations or roses on hand.
6. Get Your Flowers a Little "Drunk"
If you like vodka, hook your flowers up with 7-10 drops of it (along with a teaspoon of white sugar). For whatever the reason, when flowers are starting to wilt, they wake right on up with they've got some vodka running through their stems. It's a cool way to get another day or so outta your flowers if you do it.
7. Put Your Wilted Petals on Ice
Ice cubes are dope on a couple of levels. Not only can they help to revive wilted petals, they're also a great way to conserve water. Meaning, if you notice that your flower vase could use a little more water after a couple of days, simply drop an ice cube or two into it. It'll wake your flowers up and keep your water bill down at the same time.
8. Drop a Penny in Your Flowers’ Water
If you want your flowers to last longer, you're actually supposed to change the water no less than every three days. If you just read that and were like "yeah right" because of your hectic schedule, a cool hack is to drop a penny into your vase. The reason why this is so effective is because the acid in the penny will help to keep harmful bacteria and fungus away.
One of my favorite flower hacks ever!
9. Try Some Hairspray
Got some hairspray in a cabinet somewhere? Believe it or not, something that will help your flowers to remain their vibrant hues is to spray a little bit of hairspray onto their petals. Just make sure to hold the canister far enough away that the force of the spray doesn't damage the petals in the process. Do this every couple of days for the best results.
10. Avoid the Holiday Season (When It Comes to Florists)
Personally, I can't tell you the last time I hit up a professional florist for a floral arrangement. I will definitely just cop some flowers at a grocery store. However, if going to the florist is totally your thing, it's important to keep in mind that going there around a holiday (like Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas, etc.) is pretty much the worst time because the prices are typically hiked all the way up.
Your best bet is gonna be going right after a particular holiday is over because that's when businesses have too much stock that they are trying to get rid of. Because of that, flowers and floral arrangements are oftentimes sold at a 50-60 percent discount. You'll have the flowers you want without breaking the bank in the process. Enjoy!
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on August 12, 2021









