We all know that social distancing is still necessary (since Covid-19 is far from becoming a distant memory), but the importance of connecting with other like-minded women remains, especially if you want to advance professionally and personally. Being able to dynamically interact with others is not only great for your career, but it's also good for your mental health. (Sis, just check out the researched benefits of socializing.)
If you've found yourself in a career rut or missing the opportunity to bond with amazing women in your field, here are 7 organizations and platforms that will help you reconnect and live your best life:
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The xoTribe
Kick off your networking upgrade with a boss move that is sure to get you on the right track. Launched by Necole Kane, the phenom behind providing xoNecole.com, an online oasis where women can unapologetically tell their stories and find information useful to every facet of their lives, the xoTribe is great place to get access a community of women from diverse backgrounds, industries, and locales for networking and mentoring. Virtual happy hours, giveaways, job postings, and insider info on events---it's all a great recipe to set your 2021 glow-up plan off in the best way.
ColorComm
If you're a woman of color in any aspect of the communications industry, the ColorComm network is for you. One can't help but be inspired by its founder, Lauren Wesley Wilson, who has worked as a Washington, D.C. communications director, a media booker for Obama's Florida reelection campaign, and a crisis firm professional before launching ColorComm. Something that initially started as a lunch with more than 30 women turned into an organization that now serves more than 40,000 professionals in chapters across the U.S. and produces more than 100 local programs yearly.
Image via Walker's Legacy
Walker's Legacy
As the name denotes, Walker's Legacy was founded on the ideals of Madam C.J. Walker's legacy of being self-made, supporting women's advocacy, and promoting sheer hard work and determination. Founder Natalie Madeira Cofield sought to fill a need she saw in her own life while seeking mentors for her first venture---which she launched at 26---and she built the platform from a quarterly lecture series into a global platform of support for multicultural corporate leaders and entrepreneurs. The organization partners to provide funds for startups, has chapters in major regions, and hosts accelerator programs.
The Muse
The Muse is super-expansive, providing step-by-step guides not only for job seekers, but for professionals at various stages of their careers---from entry-level workers, to freelancers, to management executives. You can also research companies and career options, find employment opportunities and get help via resume reviews, coaching consultations and job search strategy sessions.
Image via Her Agenda
Her Agenda
With a motto like "No one Ever Slows Her Agenda," you know this platform is all about ambition and boss moves. You can find inspiration and advice through stories told by real women who are industry leaders and aren't just offering tips that just sound good. Her Agenda also provides resources including information on conferences, scholarships, internships and job opportunities for millennials interested in a variety of fields. Founded by savvy communicator, networker and millennial boss Rhonesha Byng, this is a digital space you won't want to miss out on. (The newsletter alone provides key information for any go-getter including a monthly grants roundup, a Power Hour online chat with business experts, and exclusive Q&As with industry leaders.)
The Cru
The name almost speaks for itself since we all know the power of having a good crew---whether it's a solid group of friends, a bond of tight siblings, or a professional team. The Cru provides peer coaching services in a unique way that tailors networking and career support via circles of women based on their personality, demographics, values, and life goals. Founder Tiffany Dufu is no stranger to innovating in networking and mentorship, having served as a launch team member to Lean In and a Chief Leadership Officer at Levo, a leading millennial professionals network.
The WIE Suite
Made up of influential women who have either led teams at major corporations or started their own successful businesses, The WIE Suite is a highly curated membership worth exploring. It began as the WIE Symposium, a modern, elite women's conference that expanded into an organization that attracted business and cultural leaders including Arianna Huffington, Mellody Hobson, Diane von Furstenberg, Nancy Pelosi and Naomi Campbell. Founder Dee Poku has held senior marketing roles at companies including Paramount Pictures and Focus Features and has a knack for forging quality connections among power women across industries. She also has a passion for the power of sponsorship, an act that goes well beyond mentoring. As a member, you can access professional development resources, peer coaching opportunities, and curated content.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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