How Lizzo Took A 3-Month Vow Of Silence That Threw Her Career Into Overdrive
Lizzo is the physical manifestation of the iconic African-American proverb: If you don't know, now you know, playa.
Although Lizzo initially emerged on the music scene in 2013 with her debut project, Lizzobanger, she is just starting to get the traction she deserves. By now, I'm sure you've seen this flute-playing, soul snatching goddess on the internet in one way or another, and after her recent collaborations with industry giants like Gucci Mane and Missy Elliott, Lizzo is making a statement that she's here to stay. Not only does she have the confidence of 12 Beyonces, but she has the soul and talent to back it up.
Amy Lombard
There's a lot of things we can learn from this body-positive soul sister, and in honor of her 3rd studio album release, Cuz I Love You, here are four things Lizzo taught me about self-love:
Be Quiet
Sometimes strength comes in the form of silence. Life can be noisy and things can get messy, but if you have the power to be still, you can ultimately weather the storm. Take it from Lizzo, who after losing her father spent three months without speaking. For nearly 90 days, Lizzo communicated through shrugs and only opened her mouth to sing songs from Beyonce's legendary B-Day album, and eat grapefruits and chocolate bars. During that time period, Lizzo explained that she went through a serious transformation that ultimately inspired her to take her career more seriously.
"Something happened... that just sent me over the edge. I dropped out, flew to Denver for summer vacation, went crazy and decided to become a singer."
This bold move ultimately paid off and proved to Lizzo that sometimes real power is having the ability to hold your tongue. She continued:
"My mom is still like - anytime I'm quiet she's like hey, Melissa! Don't go nowhere! [I went] crazy... in a good way though, because I got inspired. That was a summer of metamorphosis."
Lizzo reminds us that the key to maximizing your true potential could lie in shutting the hell up sometimes! Note taken.
Get Professional Help
Thanks to programs like Silence The Shame and Eustress, Inc., the stigma around therapy in the black community is changing. People of color are finally talking about mental health and taking steps toward seeking professional help. Artists including but not limited to Big Sean, Janelle Monae, and Keri Hilson have opened up about their struggles with depression and anxiety and proved that celebrities need therapy too, and Lizzo is no exception. She told Rolling Stone that initially, finding a therapist was difficult, but ultimately, getting help allowed her to become a better entertainer. The 30-year-old musician explained:
"That was really scary. But going on that journey of being vulnerable with someone who I didn't know, and then learning how to be vulnerable with people that I do know, gave me the courage to be vulnerable as a vocalist. I was so afraid of sounding like that for so long. It's a raw part of me that I didn't allow myself to celebrate."
Walk In Your Truth
As someone who is truly indecisive, decisions as small as what to eat for lunch have the power to throw my entire day into a state of chaos. #LizzoTaughtMe that no matter how big or small, if you make a choice based on your truth, you can't lose. As women, well, as humans in general, we spend so much time trying to convince others of what we have, that we forget who we are. The "Tempo" singer gave us the remedy to how to overcome that way of thinking.
"When I have to make decisions, I always choose honesty and I always stay true to myself, because I know at the end of the day that is what's going to remain. That is what's going to be the legend: That I was true to myself and that I honored every person by staying truthful to them."
Love Your Body, That’s What It’s Made For
No matter what your size or body shape, we're all guilty of "I'm too". I'm too short, I'm too tall, I'm too fat, I'm too small. I'm willing to bet that there is no one on this earth who is truly immune to the "I'm too" disease, but according to Lizzo, the cure is self-love. It doesn't matter how beautiful the product is if you aren't aware of its function and the same is true when it comes to our bodies. Our bodies weren't made for the enjoyment or speculation of others, they were made to be loved, and Lizzo reminds us that we all have a body worth loving. The entertainer told Teen Vogue:
"We should love ourselves first. We should look at our bodies as vehicles for success, and not a signifier of who you are, how good your p*ssy is, if dudes like you or not, or if you can fit certain clothes...that's not what your body's for."
Blame It On My Juice, Baby
As the first plus-size black woman to be on the cover of Playboy Magazine, Lizzo proved that her juice ain't nothing to play with. Although the body-positive maven is now an expert in self-love, her mindset wasn't always this way. In an interview with NPR in 2016, Lizzo explained that unlocking a positive self-image came with accepting her juice for all it was rather than getting caught up in sipping on someone else's.
"I remember one day being like, 'This is it.' Twenty-some-odd years of me believing that one day I can wake up and be some other girl. It's like, you're not gonna wake up and be bigger or smaller or lighter or darker; your hair's not gonna suddenly grow down past your knees. You're going to look this way for the rest of your life. And you have to be OK with that."
Lizzo taught me that it's okay to be quiet because stillness is strength. She reminds us all to walk in our truth at our own tempo and no matter what size or shape we are, to not be ashamed of the ferocity of the juice we possess.
Featured image by Gary Gershoff/Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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What Astrology Can Reveal About Your Relationship With Your Father
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
The Sun in Astrology represents your personality, ego, and purpose, and your father and your relationship with him. Depending on what sign the Sun was in when you were born, you can dive deeper into the correlation between who you are and your experience with your father or the father figure in your life, as your sun sign represents your father’s traits and how you perceive him. You can see the strengths and significance of your relationship with your dad, where challenges may be more likely, and how to navigate this energy in life.
When diving deeper into the dynamics of your family, where you come from, and how to understand more about this aspect of your life, Astrology can point you toward clarity.
The Sun Sign and The Relationship With Your Father
When looking at your relationship with your parents overall, you want to look at your moon sign for your mom , and your sun sign for your dad. You look at your 4th house for your home life and quality of it, your 5th house for your children, and your 7th house for your marriage. The sun sign, however, and the house your Sun is in, is telling when it comes to your relationship with your father and highlights where you shine in life and where this comes from.
What Your Sun Sign Says About Your Relationship With Your Father
For example, Leo Suns tend to have very outgoing fathers who take a lot of pride in their children. Pisces Suns tend to have more creative, emotional, yet maybe a little more distant dad who takes on a more vulnerable role in their life. It makes sense that your sun sign also rules your personality and goals in life because a lot of the time, this stems from what we learned when we were younger and who led us towards these types of revelations, which often come from the father figure in our lives.
By understanding your Sun sign deeper, you can better navigate how your father shows up, how you perceive him, and what you need and value from this connection.
Read for your Sun sign below to learn more about your father and to find out more insights about your relationship with your father.
Aries Sun Relationship With Their Father
Your dad is most likely very high-energy and active, and you may take on a lot of the physical traits of your father. He has a strong sense of self, is independent, and prefers to be the leader of the family. He could be someone who is a little impatient and who doesn’t beat around the bush. He says exactly what is on his mind and may be a little short-tempered.
Your father was most likely always on the go, but also someone encouraging you to follow your goals, focus on yourself, pursue sports, and overall have a direction in life. Aries tend to have more masculine-energy fathers.
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Taurus Sun Relationship With Their Father
As a Taurus Sun, your father is dependable and someone you can rely on. He is someone who is focused on the stability and financial security of the family, and someone who took on a lot of responsibilities. He could be a really good gift giver or love to spoil you with gifts or financial investments. Your father could also be very stubborn and strong-willed, and it can be hard to get through to him at times as well.
His biggest concern is making sure you are comfortable and safe, and does a lot in life to make this so for you. Your dad tends to be someone who makes you feel stable.
Gemini Sun Relationship With Their Father
With a Gemini Sun, your father is likely more of a wildcard in your life. He is creative and communicative but may be hard to pin down and truly understand. He is someone who has a lot going on in his life at once and can be a bit emotionally distant. He may be busy a lot or have a somewhat detached sort of personality.
He is not someone you would necessarily go to about your emotions, but someone who you can always count on to make you laugh and lighten the mood. Your father is most likely someone with high intelligence and someone clever and fun.
Cancer Sun Relationship With Their Father
As a Cancer Sun, your father tends to be nurturing, supportive, and emotional. He is someone who is more prone to mood swings and tends to keep to himself a little more than most. He may be somewhat overprotective of you, and he prefers to keep his family close. He is someone who is there for you when you need him and is often your go-to person in life.
You see your dad as someone who is nurturing and compassionate, and you tend to like to spend time with him or be around his energy. Your dad is someone who shows he cares in the little ways.
Leo Sun Relationship With Their Father
As a Leo Sun, you are someone who most likely looks up to your father or the father figure in your life. You have a lot of respect for your father and may even see him as a hero.
Your dad is someone who is confident, prideful, and fun. He is someone you see as gregarious and successful and someone you tend to put on a pedestal in your life.
Your dad may also be highly connected to his ego and may have problems with anger issues or abrasive energy. Your relationship with your dad may change a lot as you get older, as you try to create a life of your own and move out of your father’s shadow and strong influence.
Virgo Sun Sun Relationship With Their Father
Your dad may be meticulous, hard-working, and detail-oriented, Virgo Sun. He may be a little hard on you or someone who has very high expectations for you and the family. He is someone who is very encouraging of you to go after your goals and put in the effort, and he is somewhat predictable for you as well.
He likes for things to be clean and orderly in the home and may put this same type of expectation on you, too. He may be the person in your life who demands a lot from you or who will put some extra responsibilities on your shoulders.
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Libra Sun Relationship With Their Father
As a Libra Sun, your father is the peacekeeper in the family and tries to create a harmonious life. He is someone who can see all points of view, and he is the mediator that everyone goes to. Your father may have a more feminine energy; he has good taste and is outgoing. He is the type of dad you can go shopping with, and he’d have fun doing it.
He is someone who may be a bit passive-aggressive, as he is not one for confrontation and doesn’t like having disagreements with you or others. He may also be someone who is hard to get a hold of or a little unstable and flaky.
Scorpio Sun Relationship With Their Father
Your dad is fun, optimistic, and generally positive, Scorpio Sun. He likes to be active, travel, and explore the world, and sees himself as someone adventurous. He is most likely well-educated, intelligent, and someone who teaches you a lot about life and encourages your educational pursuits as well.
Your dad is very in tune with his fun and youthful side, Scorpio Sun, and he is the guy that everyone loves. He may have a different background than your mother or where you are from and, overall, has a lot of insight to share with you in life.
Capricorn Sun Relationship With Their Father
Your father is someone who is very headstrong and capable, Capricorn Sun. He is someone who taught you early on in life that you can do anything you put your mind to with hard work and logic, and he is a very no-bullshit type of dad.
He is someone who pushes you to be the best that you can be, and he puts a lot of responsibilities on your plate because he believes you can handle it.
He most likely instilled some traditions in you that he grew up with, and he is a more nostalgic father. He is big on legacy and wants to make the family name proud.
Aquarius Sun Relationship With Their Father
Aquarius Sun, your father is someone who you find different from most fathers. He is unique, nontraditional, and inspiring for you, and you most likely have a good friendship with him as well. He is someone who encourages you to think outside of the box and to use your mind more than anything.
He could, however, be a little unpredictable, and someone a little more distant, and it’s difficult to know what to expect with him. You may take on a lot of your father’s more different or unusual traits, and he is someone who shapes your future a lot in life.
Pisces Sun Relationship With Their Father
Your dad is more emotional, creative, distant, and moody. He may be an artist, a musician, or someone who has a more creative career. Your dad is someone who shares how much you mean to him, someone inspiring, and someone who is compassionate towards you, Pisces Sun.
However, there could also be some issues with substance abuse, escapism, or not feeling stability with your father. He is someone who is vague and may not have very much influence in your life or someone who you see very often. You may feel very vulnerable around your father or see him in a weaker sense in life.
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