Jada Pinkett Smith Talks Autonomy & Reveals The Truth About Betrayal In Her Marriage
Traditionally, marriage is associated with a loss of identity, infinite sexuality, exclusivity and letting go of your personal desires in order to serve those of your partner; but according to the latest episode of Red Table Talk, tradition isn't what kept Will and Jada's 20+ year marriage afloat, autonomy was. Jada Pinkett and Will Smith have held it down for more than a decade as one of Hollywood's most famed couples. After meeting in 1994 and later rekindling their relationship during Will's divorce proceedings with his ex-wife Sheree, the two have remained tight-lipped about their relationship until now.
When Jada released her wildly popular Facebook series, Red Table Talk, the show addressed a number of questions about the previously private couple that we've all been dying to know the answers to, and this week's episode did not disappoint. In the past, the hosts have discussed everything from their rumored involvement with Scientology to porn addiction, but this week, the Smith family took a seat at the Red Table to tell the truth about polyamory.
Joined by world-renowned couple's therapist, Esther Perel, Jada and her mom Adrienne led today's Red Table Talk with a candid conversation about infidelity that might make you look at your marriage differently. At the beginning of the episode, Jada recited a statistic that revealed that 57% of men and 54% of women have cheated on their partners. While the general consensus is that the reason someone has been unfaithful is because they are unhappy at home or have a sh*tty moral compass, many times, infidelity is much more complicated than that. Jada explained:
"You might be married to someone that is just an innate adventurer, like there's just certain kinds of desires within that have nothing to do with you, per se. But they are personal desires that need to be explored in some manner. And even if it's not necessarily an exploration that lasts forever, it's an exploration that needs to happen to get through a passage of some kind."
The hosts also agreed that while infidelity can cause emotional turmoil, it is not always a justification for divorce. In fact, according to the hosts, there are many other disloyalties that can take place in a relationship that can be even more detrimental than cheating. While Jada said that there had been no infidelity in her relationship with Will, she explained that there had been other "betrayals of the heart" that had taken place within their marriage that were just as heartbreaking as adultery. She explained:
"I'm asked a lot about, is there infidelity with your relationship with Will and I'm like, no, but there have been other betrayals of the heart that have been far bigger than I could even think in regards to an infidelity situation. When you talk about contempt, resentment, neglect, it can just tear your world apart."
According to the 47-year-old actress, the key to rewriting your relationship narrative is breaking free from the idea that marriage should only look one way. While Jada and Will had initially built their relationship on the traditional idea of what a husband and wife should look like, they soon learned that the image they had created was not at all reflective of who they were as individuals. Jada revealed that ultimately, autonomy was the secret that allowed her and her husband to press the reset button on their relationship:
"That's an important concept; specifically for me in regards to redefining my marriage as a life partnership, was the necessity of autonomy for myself and for Will, and finding the core of us that wanted to be together outside of the constraints of the traditional ideas of marriage because they weren't working for us. We went on that journey of that life partnership to find that autonomy and to find the true authentic bond outside of obligation. I don't want you to be obligated."
"What part of this is the part that you actually want and the part that you actually want to be devoted to? And what part of this do I want and want to be devoted to outside of what we've been told we're supposed to be obligated to?"
In theory, two halves can make a whole, but life has taught me that relationships work a little differently. When it comes to choosing a partner, you should both be whole, first.
The hosts also reminded the audience that being a partner in a marriage is not the same as playing a role in a relationship, because you could potentially wind up playing a part that you never even auditioned for. Jada says that focusing less on her duties and responsibilities of a "wife" and focusing more on her needs as an individual was how she and Will were able to promote their marriage to a life partnership, and since then, their relationship has never been stronger. Last year, Will echoed this sentiment when he said:
"What we realized was that we were two completely separate people on two completely separate individual journeys and that we were choosing to walk our separate journeys together."
Take a page out of Jada and Will's book, hit the Heisman on infidelity by embracing autonomy. Every day, you have a new opportunity to grow together with your partner when you reimagine what your relationship looks like for you both as individuals.
Check out the full episode below!
Featured image by Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
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UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."