Issa Rae On Navigating Friendship Breakups When It's Nobody's Fault
My mom used to tell me that as I got older, I would be able to count my real friends on one hand, and as a grown-ass woman, I know that this sage advice was big facts.
While I have a few associates that I catch up with via DM and homegirls that I link up with whenever I touchdown in their city, the large friend group that I once had has now dwindled down to an intimate inner circle and it has reminded me that navigating adult friendships can be complex AF. Friend breakups can be just as, if not more devastating, as romantic ones and in a recent interview with Elaine Welteroth for Bustle, Issa Rae revealed that she could totally relate. Issa explained that her relationship rift with Molly on the last season of Insecure was more than just a storyline, it was based on reality.
"It's something that I've been through, too, where you can't control where your life goes. I remember one of my most devastating ones was because I didn't know how to handle a divorce that she was going through. I had never experienced a marriage, and I didn't know what she needed from me. To her, I might've felt flippant about it because I didn't know how to handle that."
Issa said that although she and her former friend, who was pursuing a much different life path than she was at the time, never actually fell out, they realized quickly that they were growing apart:
"And, for me, I was launching my career, and I felt like she wasn't there for certain milestones and didn't understand or respect what I was doing. And that's not her fault. She was a doctor and she knew a very specific path that wasn't as forgiving or as thoughtful about the milestones that I felt like I accomplished… So it was neither one of our faults, but it accumulated, and we've never been the same since."
Anyone who's ever loved and lost a homegirl knows that it cuts deep and according to Issa, it was important for her to highlight situations like these on Insecure because she knows that pain all too well.
"We don't really get these stories that are rich and treated with the same sincerity and hurt and anguish that romances are. Friendships are relationships. They are romances; you love your friends."
"And nobody respects friendship breakups in the same way as you respect a romantic breakup, but they affect your life, and you take them for granted, and there was something so beautiful about examining the little paper cuts, which almost hurt more. That was something that we broke down from the beginning, examining what happens when it's nobody's fault."
To read Issa's full interview, click here!
Featured image by Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.