Vaccination numbers continue to rise, and companies have started to prepare for a return to the office. And though health and safety procedures are being updated to keep employees' health as top priority, some employees are struggling with the prospect of work life post-pandemic.
Perhaps you're worried about your health or simply don't want to rise from your bed when it's time for a meeting. Whatever the case, it will be an adjustment as we prepare for going back to the office after working remote. Such a season of transition can only be survived with coping mechanisms, realistic expectations, and a plan for how to handle the hard days.
Reflect on what you've liked (and loathed) about this time.
I recently posed the following question to my LinkedIn network of 2,000 connections: "In a world where we're all vaccinated and healthy, do you prefer fully remote work or an in-office role?" Among the 88 responses, a whopping 77 percent reported that they would prefer the comfort of home over a buzzing office when tackling quarterly goals.
Regardless of which population you'd find yourself in, we have agency in our introspection and can reflect over the last year. Likely there were pros and cons with in-office work and remote work. Take the time to ask yourself what worked for you and your lifestyle and what didn't.
For example, you may have realized you loved having the freedom to go for walks at lunchtime. Is this something you can weave into your routine when you're back to your regular 9-5 schedule? Alternately, you could have concluded that working from home sounds lovely in theory but was too distracting for you. Now you're able to have a new appreciation for the office as well as your home.
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Establish and enforce your new routine.
One of the toughest transitions we'll have is adapting to a new routine. Most of us were able to eliminate time-consuming activities like getting dressed up and surviving a long commute from our schedule once shelter-in-place orders were established.
Put pen to paper and determine what your routine will look like. Do you need to carve out an extra hour to get ready for work? Will you and your partner need to reestablish parenting responsibilities? Don't forget about your health and self-care. Ensure your schedule and routine leaves space for you to move your body with a workout class, exercise your brain with puzzles or games, or lift your spirit by spending time with friends.
Make sure the vibes are right.
If you're ramping up for a return to the office, consider making your cubicle or office space more inviting and conducive for productivity. Adding a small plant or a framed photo of your favorite vacation (or staycation) spot can give your space the soulful addition it needs. Similarly, you may invest in noise-canceling headphones or an Apple watch because you refuse to go back to your life of easy distractions and missteps.
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Have an open dialogue with management.
While many companies are ramping up for full office returns, countless employers are moving forward with a remote-friendly policy and flexible working hours after seeing an uptick in productivity during the pandemic. According to a recent study, "The work-from-home boom will lift productivity in the U.S. economy by 5 percent, mostly because of savings in commuting time." The findings of the study also "suggest that the rapid adoption of new technology amid the pandemic will offer lasting economic gains, helping to boost sluggish productivity that has long weighed on global growth."
Consider having an open-ended conversation with your manager or HR representative to learn how your company and team plan to move forward. Stay updated with current statistics and competitive analysis of industry competitors. Your company doesn't want to lose great talent where they can help it. Keep the lines of communication open and advocate for more flexibility within the company.
No matter if you're counting down the days to your office return or wishing things could stay "unprecedented" for just a bit longer, it's most important to check in with yourself. Keep your mental and physical health as your top priority, and work with those around you for a safe and thoughtful return to normal.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
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Unmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
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Okay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
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If off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
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A friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
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It’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
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I once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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