The Checklist Of Essentials All First-Time Moms Swear By
The birth of any child is a big deal but the birth of your first baby is an even bigger deal because...well because it's your first and you don't know what to expect. There's so much for first-time moms to do and ensuring that you get everything that your newborn needs can be overwhelming.
As a first-time mom, once you buy all of the cute clothes, the car seat, the crib, bottles, diapers, and pacifiers, it can be a daunting task to figure out the baby must-haves your baby may need. You're going to want your precious baby to have the absolute best so you'll probably feel the urge to buy all of the things. Yep. Every single last one of them.
But before you do, check out this list of 20 essentials first-time moms swear by.
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Baby Night Light: VAVA VA-CL006 Night Light
Walmart
Late Night feedings. Need I say more? A favorite amongst first time moms is the VAVA VA-CL006 Night Light.
Baby Thermometer: Safety 1st 3-in-1 Nursery Thermometer
Target
A lot of time you can feel that your baby is too warm but you'll still want a reliable thermometer at home for an accurate temperature reading. While a rectal thermometer is no fun for mom or baby, it is the most accurate way to get a temperature reading. The Safety 1st 3-in-1 Thermometer offers three modes for temperature reading: underarm, rectal, and oral.
Baby Clippers: Safety 1st Sleepy Baby Nail Clipper
Amazon
Babies grow fast and that includes their nails too. You'll definitely need a pair so that they won't scratch themselves or you. A common piece of advice is to clip your newborn's nails while they sleep. These clippers come with a LED light that helps you see better in the dark.
Nursery Storage: Giraffe Shaped Wicker Basket Natural
Pottery Barn Kids
It's inevitable, people are going to buy your baby toys and stuffed animals. They can and will start to add up. Investing in some aesthetically pleasing nursery storage will help keep things a little more organized for you. Babylist has compiled a list of the best nursery storage here.
Diaper Pail: Playtex Diaper Genie Expressions Customizable Diaper Pail
Walmart
The Playtex Diaper Genie Expressions Customizable Diaper Pail is a favorite because it can be customized to match the nursery.
Diaper Cream: Boudreaux's Butt Paste
Amazon
Baby skin is so smooth and soft. Ah...I love it. But because of that, it can be prone to irritation. Diaper cream helps prevent and treat diaper rash. The best all-around according to first-time moms is the Boudreaux's Butt Paste.
First Aid Kit: American Red Cross Baby Healthcare Kit
Target
This 7-piece kit comes with first aid tools like a nasal aspirator, a baby thermometer, and a medicine dropper among other essentials. If you're interested in making your very own first aid kit for your baby, click here to learn more.
Burp Cloths: Burt's Bees Baby Organic Cotton 5pk Solid/Print Burp Cloth Set
Burt's Bees
I don't have to tell you that babies spit up..a lot. First-time moms say they ended up going through a lot of these so a fan favorite was the Burt's Bees Organic Cotton Burp Cloths. A first-time mom said they are "sustainable, organic, and very soft."
Nasal Aspirator: Fridababy Baby Nasal Aspirator NoseFrida The Snotsucker
Target
The Snotsucker made by NoseFrida was a favorite for newborns. Be sure to check with the pediatrician before using it, though.
Baby Hairbrush: Fridababy DermaFrida The SkinSoother - 2pk
Target
Brushes can help combat cradle cap and per all of the videos on the Gram, it will feel pretty darn good to your baby too. A friend of mine who is a first-time mom swears by the Skinsoother Baby Hair Brush created by FridaBaby.
Swaddle Blankets: Aden + Anais Essentials Muslin Swaddles Starry Star - 4pk
Blankets have so many uses. They can be used to keep your baby warm or swaddle them. When on-the-go, they can even be used as a changing "table". The Aden + Anais Swaddle Blanket is great for making sure baby doesn't get too warm.
Bottle Brush: Philips Avent Bottle Brush In Grey
BuyBuy BABY
Have you ever tried to clean the bottom of a bottle with your adult hand? The Philips Avent Bottle Brush is specifically designed to clean baby bottles efficiently and effectively.
Portable Changing Pad: MAMAN Portable Changing Diaper Pad Station
Amazon
Not all public restrooms have changing tables––and the ones that do can be pretty gross. A portable changing pad will definitely make life easier and cleaner. The MAMAN Portable Changing Diaper Pad Station is great when you're on-the-go and it's waterproof too.
Nipple Cream (If You Are Breastfeeding): Cora Organic Nipple Balm
Amazon
Mom Loves Best compiled a list of best nipple creams for breastfeeding of 2020. Cora's Organic Nipple Balm makes an appearance on that list as one of the best cruelty-free nipple creams on the market. Need we say more?
Car Mirror: Munchkin Brica Baby In-Sight Car Mirror
Target
If you're traveling alone a car mirror can allow you to see your baby in a rear-facing car seat. Mom's love the Munchkin Brica Baby In-Sight Car Mirror. It's crash tested and shatter-resistant.
Teether: Vulli Sophie la Girafe
Amazon
While any teether will do, first-time moms swear by Sophie La Giraffe as a teether for their babies.
Baby Bathtub: The First Years Sure Comfort Deluxe Infant to Toddler Tub
Amazon
While it may not be a necessity, first-time moms swear that a baby bathtub makes bath time a little easier for a slippery and squirming baby. The First Years Sure Comfort Deluxe Infant to Toddler Tub is a favorite because it can be used for longer than most tubs as your baby grows.
Bottle Warmer: The First Years Quick Serve Bottle Warmer
BuyBuy BABY
Another item that moms said made life easier when it's time to warm those bottles is The First Years Quick Serve Bottle Warmer. This miracle product even sanitizes pacifiers.
Baby Detergent: Honest Hypoallergenic Baby Laundry Detergent
Baby skin is delicate and detergent specially formulated for their skin can be one less thing to worry about. Honest has a Hypoallergenic Baby Laundry Detergent that moms love.
Breastmilk Storage Bags: Lansinoh Breastmilk Storage Bags, 50-count
Amazon
Breast milk is liquid gold and can be put in the freezer for use at a later time. Storage bags definitely come in handy. Lansinoh who has been in the breastfeeding game for years makes breastmilk storage bags as well.
Of course, this list is not all-inclusive. As a first-time mom, you may find that you use some, all, or none of these items. Always check with your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about anything when it comes to your precious bundle of joy.
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Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise y’all or not to know that a few years back, Vice published an article entitled, “Women Get Bored in Bed Faster Than Men.” When it comes to the clients I work with, what I will say is men tend to underestimate how creative women can be while women seem to overlook that men fake orgasms just about as much as they do. My grand takeaway from all of this? Folks need to be intentional when it comes to keeping the spice alive in their sex life; especially if they’re in a long-term relationship.
That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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