" Fast food. Hamburgers, French fries, and soft drinks are typical fast food items. Fast food is a type of mass-produced food designed for commercial resale and with a strong priority placed on 'speed of service' versus other relevant factors involved in culinary science."—Wikipedia
So, here's what I'm hoping. I'm hoping that even if you're gonna wish that you could un-see all of this info by the time you finish reading this, that you caught this article before you go on your next lunch break. I say that because, if you're in the habit of running out to a local fast food joint to get a bite, you might want to rethink that plan.
Now before delving deeper into why I say that, let's do a quick review of some fast food places that ain't McDonald's, Wendy's or Arby's. In-N-Out. Panera Bread. Wingstop. Boston Market. Moe's Southwest Grill. Noodles & Company. Chipotle. Jason's Deli. Panda Express. Starbucks. Your beloved Chick-fil-A (which was voted the #1 fast food place this year). If you Google a list of popular fast food chains, these are going to be on it. The reason why I didn't go with a Popeye's, Sonic or Pizza Hut is because those are pretty obvious, right? But for whatever the reason, when a lot of us go to Panera or Chick-fil-A, we think that it's "the other fast food". I'm not saying that some places aren't healthier than others, but when it comes to choosing between what's best for your health (and wallet), nothing beats preparing your own meals.
Health-wise, you're about to see why, if folks in drive-thrus know you personally, it really is time to spend more time in grocery stores (or farmer's markets) instead of fast food restaurants.
Fast Food Affects Your Brain
Something that a lot of fast foods have in them is saturated fat (and fatty acids). The problem with that is when too much of it is in our system, it can cause us to experience impaired memory or to even for our cognitive function to get all sluggish. Some other things that saturated fat puts us at risk for is weight gain and heart disease.
Does this mean that you can't have a burger or milkshake ever? No. What it does mean is in order for you to remain relatively unaffected by saturated fats, you should consume no more than 10 percent of them a day. And a burger combo is a heck of a lot more than that.
Fast Food Attacks Your Teeth and Bones
Contrary to popular belief, it's not actually sugar that leads to cavities. What causes them is a combination of bacteria, acid on the enamel of your teeth and a vitamin deficiency. Three things that you can do to combat all of these issues is to brush and floss your teeth after every meal, take a Vitamin D supplement and consume (more) bone broth, and cut back on acidic foods like soda and carbs; especially soda because the citric acid that's in it is the most corrosive that there is (by the way, if you're wondering which soda does the most damage, check out "70 Most Popular Sodas Ranked by How Toxic They Are").
As far as your bones go in general, fast food is a no-no because it leads to obesity and obesity can directly affect bone density. Who wants weak bones? Exactly.
Fast Food Wears Your Kidneys Out
If there's one thing that fast food contains a ton of, it's sodium. As a result, we end up dehydrated, bloated and constipated with an elevated blood pressure and kidneys that have to work harder than they ever should. In fact, if you are someone who is prone to kidney stones and you're also someone who eats combo meals a lot, those two things typically go hand in hand. From what I hear, everything about kidney stones suck. Wouldn't you want to avoid what causes them at all costs?
(If you'd like a list of other types of foods that produce kidney stones, you can check one out here.)
Fast Food Wrecks Your Hair, Skin and Nails
If you're someone who has acne-prone skin, you've probably been told that chocolate and greasy foods like pizza are to blame. But there are actually studies that indicate carbs are the real culprit. The reason why is because carbs causes our blood sugar levels to increase; when that happens, breakouts are sometimes the result. Actually, one study revealed that kids and teens who have fast food, at least three times a week, are more likely to develop eczema.
Also, because fast food is not usually loaded with iron (like say, a salad is), that's why it's not the best thing for your hair (low iron can ultimately lead to thinning and even bald spots). Also, since fast food isn't all that big on Vitamin C, your hair, skin and nails aren't able to get the collagen boost that they need on a daily basis if that's constantly what you're putting into your system.
Fast Food Makes You Anxious
Something else that fast food lacks are omega-3 fatty acids. We need those because they improve the health of our eyes, fight inflammation, reduce our risk for contracting autoimmune diseases and reduce our chances of having an age-related illness (like Alzheimer's disease). One more thing—if you battle with anxiety, omega-3s are able to lower those symptom-related issues too. Since reportedly 1 in 5 Americans battle with some sort of anxiety disorder, this is certainly good food for thought. Literally.
The kinds of foods that are high in omega-3 fatty acids include eggs, walnuts, wild rice, oysters and flax seeds. I'm not sure what fast food restaurants are in plentiful supplies of these things so yeah, this is just one more reason to stay out of their drive-thru lines.
Fast Food Messes with Your Fertility
If you're trying to get pregnant, this is just one more reason to stay out of fast food places. Fast food is highly processed, and processed foods typically contain something known as phthalates. What's that? It's a chemical that totally disrupts the hormonal balance in your system. If your periods are irregular and your hormones are all over the place, that's going to make it difficult to conceive.
Something else that's pretty jacked up about phthalates is, if you're exposed to high levels of them, you could also put your baby at risk for having birth defects.
So yeah, if you're trying to conceive and currently have a French fry in your hand, hopefully this motivates you to toss it into the trash.
Fast Food Dyes Can Make You Ill
Before I get into how the dyes in fast food can jack you up too, another read that's totally worth your time is "Fast Food Is Actually Unhealthier Today Than It Was in the 80s". One of the reasons why this is the case is due to all of the preservatives that are in today's fast foods. Anyway, as if all of the red flags that you've already checked out aren't enough, something else that should give you cause for pause is all of the artificial coloring that goes into fast food.
C'mon, surely you don't think that Fanta Strawberry soda is naturally red or Dr. Pepper is naturally a dark caramel color. And speaking of the shades of caramel that you see, there are studies which indicate that it carries the human carcinogen known as 4-methylimidazole (4-MEI); in rats, the consumption of this has sometimes led to cancer. Again, another solid reason to take a fast food pass.
Fast Food Can Kill You. Literally.
OK, so if you somehow like your burgers, fries and shakes so much that you somehow found a way to rationalize your way out of all of what I just shared, be prepared for this drop the mic moment—"Eating Ultra-Processed Foods Increases Death Risk by 62%". Yep. You read the title of that article totally right! And what technically qualifies as being an ultra-processed food? Brace yourself—chicken nuggets, white bread, frappuccinos, energy drinks and bars, sweetened cereals, fried chicken, potato chips, frozen pizza, packaged snacks, fries, biscuits, soda and pretty much any other kind of food that contains a lot of sugar and/or preservatives, artificial flavors, and colors. Is your favorite fast food restaurant good enough to die before your time for? (The answer to that is a firm "hell no".)
Whew, that's a lot of drama to take in. And, just like Rome wasn't built in a day, neither was going from eating fast food a few times a week to not consuming it at all. But remember that a lot of the fast foods that you like, you can still have so long as you're willing to prepare them yourself and make them differently. For soda, add some juice or lemon and lime to your sparkling water. For fries, bake potato wedges in your oven. Turkey and bean burgers are good beef burger alternatives. A homemade dark chocolate and banana smoothie is much healthier than a Sonic shake.
Bottom line is, when it comes to fast food and what it does to our bodies, all of them ultimately bring new meaning to "haste makes waste". Fast ain't always good, y'all. Choose (to eat) wisely.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 "Healthy" Foods That Actually, Well...Aren't
10 Foods You Should Eliminate From Your Diet If You're Trying To Lose Weight
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
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I was inspired to write this because, recently, while reading about eight types of narcissists and what their traits consist of, I revisited what a vulnerable narcissist is all about. Then, as I connected some dots via another piece that I read about how it shows up in female friendships — well, because this is a platform for Black women, I definitely wanted to put y’all on notice. Because when it comes to toxic friendships (which really is a bit of an oxymoron, isn’t it?), there is probably nothing worse than having a narcissist friend — someone who displays traits like being highly self-centered, pretty apathetic, and constantly gaslighting those around them.
Okay, so what’s the difference between a “regular” narcissist and a vulnerable one? Yeah, let’s get into that now because I’ve got a feeling that some light bulbs are going to go on for a few of you…as it relates to at least one of your current…“friendships.”
So Basically, a Vulnerable Narcissist Is the Same Thing As a Covert One
GiphyIf you check out the article, “Science Says That Happy Couples Do The Following 7 Things” on this platform, one thing that you will notice that I said is, since I’ve been a marriage life coach, I’ve not really been big on using the word “vulnerable” when it comes to serious relationships. Charge it to being a writer who takes words pretty literally (dictionary-defined ones, not what social media makes up from year to year) yet I’ve never understood why we should encourage people to be vulnerable with someone who they deeply trust.
I say that because I know that vulnerable means things like “capable of or susceptible to being attacked, damaged, or hurt” and “open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.” And although I get that no one is perfect, if you feel like dealing with those closest to you requires taking this level of an emotional risk, on a fairly consistent basis? In my opinion, that is a dark orange flag, if not a flat-out red one.
I’ve said before that my preferred word is “dependent” because it means “relying on someone or something else for aid, support, etc.” — and healthy relationships? They absolutely should be INTERDEPENDENT. Yeah, whether it’s romantic, familial or a friendship — why are you out here feeling like sharing yourself makes you open to attack and harm when you should be involved with individuals who can be relied on for support? See the difference? And that is why a vulnerable narcissist makes sense to me — since a narcissist is unsafe, by the very definitions of vulnerable, a vulnerable one would be too. Even more so, in fact.
Here's the clincher, though. Even if you’ve never heard of a vulnerable narcissist before, I’m willing to bet that some of you have heard of a covert narcissist, which is basically the same thing. The fascinating thing about a covert narcissist is they are more subtle than some of the other types — which is exactly how they are able to trip folks up. Because although they need lots of attention and they tend to act really self-important (like all narcissists do), a covert narcissist moves in some pretty sneaky ways.
For instance, they might go really heavy on what seems like compliments (more on that in a sec) in order to make you think that they admire you when, really, they just want to get your guard down in order to get whatever they want out of you. Another example of a covert narcissist is they might act like they are proud of something you accomplished; however, they are actually sticking close by to get some of your contacts or to work themselves into the successful world that you created, so that they can actually compete with you. One more example of a covert narcissist is if they don’t get their way, they may ghost you for days, weeks or months at a time and then be all passive aggressive about it whenever they resurface.
And why are they like this? Because vulnerable/covert narcissists get off on gaslighting — they want you to feel like you are crazy for thinking what is, 8.5/10, spot-on about them. That way, you can be the villain and they can play the victim — even though it’s probably the exact opposite that is actually going on. They do this because, ultimately, to boost their ego. For a narcissist, pretty much of any kind, game-playing is what fuels them and makes them bigger in their minds than they actually are (or even deserve to be).
10 Dead-Ringer Signs of a Vulnerable Narcissist
GiphyOkay, so even with all of what I just said, what if you’re like, “Shellie, I think I get it, but I need a few more examples of what you’re saying”? I hear you and I’ve got you. Some other ways that vulnerable narcissists like to show up and out?
- They are hypercritical and condescending
- They act like they are allergic to accountability
- Their expectations are unreasonable (and hypocritical)
- They are walking contradictions
- They want to be the center of attention (and while monopolize things
- They are masters at giving others the silent treatment
- Their expectations are unrealistic and their demands are ridiculous
- They deflect instead of apologize
- They flatter (use fluffy and insincere words) yet don’t affirm or compliment (yes, there is a difference)
- They lack empathy or humility
And why — or even how — would you be a friend with someone like this? Well, the other thing that you have to keep in mind about narcissism is they are excellent at using charm to their advantage. Charming people tend to come off as being charismatic and witty. Charming people seem to be really interested in you (at least initially). Charming people have a way of making you feel very comfortable around them. At first, charming people seem genuine, attentive and respectful. And they definitely make a good impression — sometimes one that is so solid that you keep going back to that memory during the “bad times” with them.
Hmph. The thing that you have to always keep in mind when it comes to charm, though, is what Scripture says about it: “Charm is deceitful…” (Pr. 31:30) — and that is just what a narcissist is: deceptive.
And when it comes to a vulnerable narcissist and her friendships with other women? The deceptive runs deep.
How a Vulnerable Narcissist Shows Up Especially in Female Friendships
GiphyAlways remember that a vulnerable narcissist moves in subtle and sneaky ways. Hmph, that alone should make you want to ponder if you have some female friends who would fit the bill of being a vulnerable narcissist because we do have a way of being clever and ingenious…which are two of the things that come with being a subtle type of individual. And the way that subtle narcissists use their clever and ingenious ways to their advantage? I’ll give you an example.
A former friend of mine who was — and from what I hear, still is — an absolute vulnerable narcissist really wanted me to be her fan rather than her friend. One time, she even invited me to a bachelorette party and said, “You’re the only one here who isn’t a bridesmaid. You should feel honored.” Nah, what you really said is that you don’t truly value what I bring into your life enough to be a bridesmaid but you know I am good for bringing one hell of a gift and cheering you on regardless.
And that’s how a lot of our friendship was — doing way more giving than I was receiving, doing way more listening than leaning and when I would call her out on some of these things, she would either freeze me out or play the victim and act like somehow it was my fault that she wasn’t being a better friend.
Yeah, that’s what you’ve gotta watch about vulnerable narcissists — it is going to be oh so very rare that they will take full accountability for where they have dropped the ball. To them, somehow, it — whatever “it” is — is either going to be your fault or someone else’s. And that’s why, in their eyes, if you were a “real friend” to them, you would coddle them through not meeting your needs instead of expecting them to actually change their ways so that you both could benefit from the relationship.
And why don’t your needs matter? Because, to a vulnerable narcissist, they believe that they are worthy of extra special treatment at all times — think of them like being a bridezilla 24 hours a day. LOL.
And although some of what I said can be nuanced, for the most part, that really is how a vulnerable narcissist tends to make themselves seen and heard in female friendships: treat them like queens and expect to be mere subjects in their court or…why are you around at all, chile?
5 Hacks for Handling a Vulnerable Narcissist
GiphyFeeling triggered? Or better yet, are you feeling like you finally can “scratch the itch” of what you’ve been looking for to describe a certain person (or certain people) in your life goes? If that is the case and although you see some flags, there tends to be at least a little bit of good enough in your dynamic with “your” vulnerable narcissist to not totally break things off (yet), how do you keep a vulnerable narcissist from causing (anymore) harm?
1. Set firm boundaries. The former friend who I just spoke of? It took years to fully and finally unravel out of all of that (pretty much because she took her elitism to “no turning back” levels a few years ago). A part of the reason why is because she’s not the devil; she really isn’t — she’s just a narcissist. So, what I did to make things more bearable for myself for a while was set some emotional boundaries.
Sometimes I had to tell her “no” and provide no explanation behind it (narcissists think that they are owed every damn thing, chile). I refused to be at her beck and call all of the time. When I felt like she was stressing me out, I would take a bit of time off from phone calls or hanging out. Listen, you will never survive a narcissist, of any kind, unless you have some firm and consistent ARTICULATED boundaries set. If you don’t heed any other point, please heed this one.
2. Have consequences in place for when they are broken. There is no point in setting a boundary if there aren’t going to be consequences for when they are broken. So, for instance, if you tell a vulnerable narcissist that you don’t appreciate them not taking accountability for telling your business to a mutual friend (because they are also extremely entitled individuals), you should probably keep your mouth shut around them for a while. Narcissists care more about their present interests than your holistic comfort which is why they tend to do stuff like that (sometimes).
3. Look at patterns over promises. Narcissists are a lot like energy vampires — and something that both of those need is a source of supply to leech off of whether it’s attention, emotional investing, resources…whatever will benefit them and what they are wanting at the time. And that is why they have no problem telling you that they will do something for you…even if they don’t end up following through. They do this because they want you to put enough confidence in them to be willing to go out of your way on their behalf — at least until they get what they need in the moment. Be careful of that. In genuine friendships, you should be able to rely on others just as much as they should be able to rely on you.
4. Choose to not see them as your “safe place.” Remember, narcissists are charming. They can also be witty, fun and totally entertaining to be around. A word that I wouldn’t use for them, though, is “safe.” The former friend who I mentioned? Although she was good at keeping information confidential (which is a safe trait), she couldn’t be relied on when I was hurting because, somehow, she was going to find a way to turn the focus on her (that is unsafe). I mean, rarely could I tell her something and she wasn’t going to turn it into a story about herself. Yeah, narcissists are always on some sort of makeshift stage, chile. And that can be exhausting.
5. Make sure you know what your “breaking point” is. I tell clients often: Be okay with being someone’s consequence sometimes because there may be a chance that they won’t learn any other way. Do I miss that former friend of mine? Eh, by the time that I was done, I was DONE done. However, we had a lot of years between us and so there are memories that get to me on random occasions. And although I don’t hate her and can see her and genuinely care about how she’s doing, we have nowhere to go in the future. She’s always going to want me to do most of the work — and I am no longer interested in doing so. Breaking points are good. They let us know when a chapter in a relationship has…completed itself.
____
An author by the name of Nassim Nicholas Taleb once said, “Love without sacrifice is theft” (that kind of makes me think of the late author Eric Jerome Dickey’s quote, “Sex without love is violence”). At the end of the day, that saying is a good way to “gut check” your relationship with a vulnerable narcissist. Ask yourself if you are basically the only one doing any sacrificing. And if that is indeed the case, is it worth it?
Remember, a vulnerable narcissist thinks that they deserve to be treated better than everyone else — including you. If you want to keep that type of person as a friend, just know what you are getting yourself into. Because since they are probably never going to change, you will be the one who has to.
One way or another, sis. One way or a freakin’ other.
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