
There are a billion times 10 reasons why I think it's important for women to have men as friends. One of them is because, if you really want to know how a man thinks, although everyone is an individual, other men are gonna give you a much more realistic (and reliable) perspective than other women will. This includes when it comes to the topic of marriage.
Now before you roll your eyes and say the last thing (most) men want to think about, let alone discuss, is marriage, I've done some (statistical) digging around. From what I've found, that's simply not true. Men tend to fall in love at first sight far more than women do. Men crave romance far more than they are given credit for. And, once a marital union actually does come to an end, guess who ends it first, the most? Women (70 percent of all divorces are filed by women). Since some studies reveal that married men live longer, make more money and have better sex than single fellas do, that alone explains why they're not so quick to call it quits.
But after reading a feature on Today's site about what makes men want to marry certain women and not others, I decided to conduct a personal study of my own. I hit up a few single, married, and divorced men—all handsome, all successful, and all good guys—to share with me what life, love, and the pursuit of marital bliss (or at least relational contentment) have taught them about what truly makes a woman someone they want to wife up.
What Makes a Woman Wife Material?
Christopher, 48, Married
"Something that's really attractive to me is a woman who carries herself well in public. I'm not just talking about her appearance; a lot of women are great at that. I mean, someone who knows when to put her game face on. Whatever transpired at home or even on the way to where we're going, she doesn't feel the need to share it with others—whether it's with her words, her facial expressions or her energy."
"Men feel safe when the woman they love knows that their business is their business."
Stephen, 35, Single
"I'm looking for someone who's on the same vibration as me. I used to be the kind of person who thought that so long as I was attracted to someone and she was attracted to me that it was a true connection. Now I realize that we need to agree on certain things—ethics, values, faith. It's also important to be open to growth and to be able to receive new information without putting up a wall. I am always pursuing growth. Marriage material, to me, is a woman who can complement that because she's pursuing her own evolution too."
Marcus, 52, Divorced
"People really underestimate the power of interdependence. I'm drawn to a woman who knows that our relationship exists because we need to be able to lean and depend on one another. But, at the same time, she's still self-aware enough to be able to stand on her own."
Stephen, 46, Married
"A woman who takes on personal accountability for her actions is really attractive to me. I once heard my pastor say that a lot of us have a tendency to rationa-LIE our way out of things instead of taking ownership for what we do wrong. We'll deflect, shift blame, manipulate—do anything but say 'I was wrong. I apologize.' A lot of precious time can be spared if when you know you made a mistake or even did something that you knew was going to cause conflict that you just…own it. Otherwise, I start to wonder if there is some sneakiness or deception going on. And that leads to a breakdown in trust."
Jay, 50, Married
"Something that I didn't really consider before getting married is how important it is to be with a woman who truly believes in you. I don't just mean when it comes to supporting your dreams and goals."
"I mean someone who can look past your flaws and imperfections and still have your back. My wife does that and it's a real confidence-builder and super-empowering for me."
Aaron, 36, Married
"It's important for a woman to see sex and affection as more than just a desire; those are things that she needs to need just as much as I do. Some women use sex as nothing more than a bargaining chip and that is something a man can sense from a mile away. Marriage is too much of a long-term and serious commitment to be with someone who isn't as into intimacy as you are—or isn't at least willing to explore getting there."
Javis, 30, Single
"It's beautiful when a woman is really strong in her faith. Once you get married, so many things will test your love in your partner, sometimes even your faith in God. When a woman isn't swayed by trials or even her emotions during the hard times because she is unwavering in her faith, she is priceless."
"A woman who isn't enslaved by her feelings is golden."
Bryant, 28, Single
"I think a woman who encompasses peace is major marriage material. I think it's a misconception that men are afraid of commitment. What we're actually 'afraid' of is getting with someone who is going to bring anxiety and stress into our space—a woman who will make us feel like life was sooo much better when we were single. When we know that a woman is secure in herself and she thinks that 'home' should be synonymous with relational tranquility, we'll put a ring on her finger in a heartbeat!"
Wyman, 32, Married
"A woman who is sexy and knows it is marriage material to me. Sexiness isn't about looking like a cover model, being a size 0 or having long hair or a big butt. Sexiness is knowing what makes you different from everyone else and wanting to show that off, in and out of the bedroom. You can't be sexy and not be confident at the same time. Sexy women have sex with the lights on. Sexy women always have something spontaneous and a little mysterious up under their sleeve. Sexy women can draw you in with their eyes alone."
"Never underestimate the power of a truly sexy woman and how she can satisfy you in a marriage."
Donte', 39, Divorced
"Someone who embraces her femininity and respects my masculinity is fire. In my first marriage, it started to become more and more apparent that my wife wasn't looking for a man. She was looking for a woman who had male genitalia. Men and women are designed by God to have different approaches and feelings about, pretty much everything. Embracing that is what creates our balance. A woman who doesn't fight against that is one in a million."
This is some good stuff worth pondering. So, the next time you and your girlfriends are having a wine down and the topic of marriage material comes up, use this article to bring up some thinking points or FaceTime some of the men in your life. What they say just might surprise you. At the very least, you can trust it because it's coming from the male's perspective.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
What Happens In Vegas Ends In…Wellness? My Black Girl Luxury Weekend At Caesars Palace
Caesars Palace showed me that Las Vegas isn’t just the city that never sleeps — it’s also a place where Black women can rest, play, and find joy.
On TV and in movies, you always see the nightclubs, the casinos, the action of the Strip. And yes, that’s true. So I naturally didn’t think that I could find rest in Vegas, but I’ve never been more glad to be wrong.
Aside from this trip, I’d only been to Vegas once — and it was quick. I was speaking on a panel in LA for CultureCon during Juneteenth weekend when I realized Usher’s residency had a date when I’d be nearby. I bought a last-minute (expensive, but worth it) ticket and flew in for less than 24 hours just to see him. Worth every dime. This time, though, I was curious to see what else the city had for me.
As a guest of Caesars Entertainment, I was invited to experience the softer side of Vegas, specifically their first-ever spa buffet experience. We often look at Vegas as a place for casinos, elaborate shows, world-class dining, and nightlife. Now I won’t debate that all of that is true — but there’s so much overlooked relaxation tucked away in every corner.
Let’s Talk Accommodations
I stayed at Caesars Palace and my suite in the Augustus Tower opened to sparkling views of the Strip, with the Eiffel Tower twinkling in the distance. My itinerary was filled with champagne dinners, luxury SUV car service by Caesars Entertainment (that knew how to navigate around the Strip traffic effortlessly), and hours indulging in their new All You Can Spa program at The LINQ — a playful twist on the buffets the city is so famous for.
Honestly, my first thought of Caesars Palace was Think Like a Man Too, which was filmed here. But walking into the property myself, it felt bigger, grander. Like I’d stepped out of the country without leaving the desert. Caesars Palace was originally built to bring the grandeur of Rome to the strip— and it worked. The first time I experienced Rome was as a teenager, and staying here felt like I had some of that nostalgia with me, only a four-hour flight away.

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From my room, I could see the Eiffel Tower glittering across the way. All of it, as designed, felt very royal. My dad has called me the Princess of Zamunda since I was little (so much so that I thought Zamunda was a real place lol), so it was very on-brand for me to stay at Caesars Palace for her first full weekend in Vegas.
Because the legendary Qua Baths & Spa at Caesars Palace was under renovation (I can’t wait to return when it opens), I had the chance to try The Spa at The LINQ — home of the new All You Can Spa experience. And truthfully, every treatment felt curated just for me. Guests are given four hours to build their own spa “buffet,” choosing from facials, scrubs, wraps, and massages.
Here’s every service I had:

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- 80-Minute CBD Mud Wrap with Foot Massage My first mud wrap ever. The therapist guided me through it, even letting me feel the clay, and ended with a foot massage I’m still dreaming about. She was so sweet and a local who gave me the 411 on how to experience the Strip the way locals do.
- 50-Minute Signature Facial I was paired with a Black esthetician who understood my skin. She gave me thoughtful recommendations and sealed my treatment with a serum that left me glowing and ready for a night out. She even complimented me on my daily skin care.
- 50-Minute Body Scrub I’ve never been a scrub girl (I had a Turkish scrub once that turned me off), but this one converted me. My skin felt renewed, and she even warmed up my lotion.
- 80-Minute Mind & Body Massage with Hot Stones + CBD I love firm pressure, and my therapist delivered. She let me choose an aromatherapy blend called Love, and the hot stones melted every ounce of tension.
All of my therapists were women of color, and that intentionality mattered to me. Each service ended with an affirmation card, and I left every treatment feeling cared for in a way that was personal.
Between services, I had a champagne lunch that felt like an episode of Girlfriends. I remembered watching those spa-day scenes growing up, thinking I couldn’t wait to have moments like that as a grown woman. Sitting there in my robe with my best friend beside me, sipping champagne and catching up on life before we got into the action and excitement of Vegas is a moment I’ll always remember. That and how crisp those grapes were that they had on our charcuterie board.

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My Black Girl Luxury Vegas Recs
- Nobu at Caesars Palace My welcome dinner and the perfect kickoff to the weekend. Yellowtail jalapeño, wagyu beef, spicy tuna, shishito peppers, and a 24K gold-draped dessert you’ll only find in Vegas. Pure decadence. I also peeked at the Nobu Hotel tucked inside Caesars. If I came back, I’d definitely stay there.
- Rock + Roe at Caesars Palace I’m more of a R&B girly than rock-and-roll, but after some Veuve Clicquot and two caviar bumps, I was singing along to Stevie Wonder’s "Superstition," making friends with strangers (I had a very funny chat with a couple next to me who thought I was stood up and then discovered I was a journalist on a work trip and loved that for me) and I ended up staying until they closed at 2 a.m.
- Flamingo’s GO Pool Cabanas The go pool just underwent a $20 million renovation - and they truly spared no expense. My cabana felt more like a living room by the pool than a daybed, complete with couches, flat-screen TVs, IV drips, and a swim-up bar. I loved being close enough to the energy but tucked away enough to nap in peace, and I appreciated that they offered both cocktails and mocktails.
- Bacchanal Buffet One of the best brunch restaurants in Vegas. I went for the crab brunch, with short rib benedict, hashbrowns, eggs, seafood towers, and southern breakfast options that rival my favorite spots when I visit family in the deep South.
- Caramella at Planet Hollywood Their king crab scampi with fresh capers changed my life — and I was literally whisked into their speakeasy hidden behind a wall that looked like a candy shop. I thought the manager was just offering me a sweet for the road, but instead I ended up in a stunning club with some of the best music I heard all weekend. My only regret? Not staying longer because I had tickets to DISCOSHOW at The LINQ which was also fun! It felt like I was being transported back into the 70s and each floor had their own speakeasy bar.

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What I Love Most About Vegas: It’s A Side Quest Playground
You could start your day at a crab brunch, end up in a salt cave by 3 p.m., and then find yourself in a beach club at 3 a.m. screaming every word while Jeezy performs. That kind of spontaneity felt healing in its own way.
As we get older, side quests become things we tell ourselves we don’t have time for. But the truth is, we need them more. Life gets heavier, and joy becomes an act of radical self-care. A reminder that you deserve to rest deeply and play wildly. There’s room for both.
Black women are leading leisure travel spending in the U.S., yet simultaneously report some of the highest daily stress levels. That’s why side quests aren’t indulgent for us. They’re necessary. Escapes filled with 24-karat gold desserts, naps in luxurious cabanas, healing waters, and spa days with our best friends aren’t frivolous — they’re what keep us grounded and remind us that rest and joy can coexist.
Black women don’t always get the mental space to play. Even if we have the financial means, so many of us don’t have the time or permission to just… daydream. To imagine. To follow a whim. Vegas gave me that space — and reminded me how much I deserve it. I can’t wait for my next side quest, whether it’s in Vegas or halfway across the world.
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