Waking Up at the Same Damn Time Every Night? Here’s the Deal.

Oh, perimenopause. It’s a fact of life that no woman can really escape and, to be honest, if you’re in your late 30s, it’s something that you should learn as much about as you possibly can. I say that because, according to many health experts, that time of life (when you’re transitioning into menopause) can last anywhere from 4-10 years (although for some women, it’s only a few months while for others, it can go past a decade). During perimenopause, you may experience everything from hot flashes and incontinence to mood swings and infertility challenges (in part, due to irregular menstrual cycles) — and that’s just for starters.

Another very telling sign that you are either in perimenopause or very close to the day that officially marks menopause (because technically, menopause is the day that you’ve gone 12 consecutive months without a period; after that, you’re in post-menopause)? Sleep problems. I mean, the kind that has you wondering if you’re either an official insomniac or you’re low-key losing your mind. And guess what? For many women, the wake-up call for if they are indeed perimenopausal is 3:29 a.m. Pretty wild, right?

Apparently, there was a survey that was released in honor of World Menopause Day (yes, there is a day; it's in the fall) that said an overwhelming amount of women wake up at that time of the night. Although studies are being conducted to see what the backstory on all of that is about, what is clear is the roller coaster ride of hormones (especially estrogen and progesterone) messes with your circadian rhythm and that can make it challenging to fall asleep and/or stay asleep.

Do you have to just grin and bear it? No. Well, not totally. If it’s been a few months of waking up around this time and some other of the symptoms that I mentioned are happening too, you might want to make an appointment with your healthcare provider, just so they can confirm that it’s perimenopause as opposed to something else (like say, a thyroid issue). Another thing that you can do is check out online services that specialize in menopause; they will assess you virtually and provide recommendations and sometimes even prescriptions (some of those include PlushCare, Versalie, and Let’s Get Checked).

In the meantime, there are a few things that you can do from the comfort and convenience of your home that may provide some semi-immediate relief. I’ve got eight of ‘em right here for you to try.

1. Get on a Sleep Schedule 

If there are two things that folks don’t schedule enough (and probably should) it’s sex and sleep (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Sex? We’ll have to get into that at another time. Sleep? Listen, all that scheduling means is you’re prioritizing something, and when you schedule sleep that can help you to cultivate a routine that will help you to rest more soundly throughout the night. If you’ve never had a sleep schedule before, all you need to do is purpose in your mind to turn in at the same time every evening.

Actually, there are a few more things that you should add to this: don’t take naps through the day (that can definitely mess with your sleep patterns), do some sort of exercising in the morning or afternoon (that will make it easier to sleep at night) and incorporate a lot of these other tips, so that you’re able to cultivate an atmosphere of rest and relaxation before actually falling asleep.

2. Add a Magnesium, Calcium and Zinc Supplement to Your Diet

Something that my mother hipped me to, shoot, decades ago at this point, is taking magnesium, calcium, and zincas an all-in-one supplement. Not only do they work together to naturally relax your nervous system, but they’re also known to improve your sleep quality as well. It’s also a “fun fact” to know that when you’re going through perimenopause, you’re going to lose some calcium, so this supplement can help you stay on top of that in the process.

3. Don't Eat Late

I’m definitely preaching to the choir when it comes to this particular point because it’s rare that I will look at the clock when it comes to snacking on something. If you can relate, there’s a study that indicates that eating something, even one hour before turning in, significantly increases your chances of waking up in the middle of the night. And since it can be hella challenging to go back to sleep once you are up, the more proactive that you can be at preventing this from happening, the better…right?

4. Sip on Some Golden Milk or Ashwagandha Tea

Before getting into this tip, it needs to go on record that whether it’s water or something else, if you don’t want to be making potty runs throughout the night, you should stop drinking about two hours before bedtime. That being said, two drinks that can help you out on the rest and relaxation tip are golden milk and ashwagandha tea.

Golden milk is good for you because milk contains tryptophan (a natural sleep agent) and turmeric (which is also in golden milk) can actually help to treat sleep deprivation and anxiety. As far as ashwagandha tea goes, it helps to reduce stress and has compounds in it that actually help to induce sleep.

Now as far as golden milk goes, I am a fan. I will give a heads up, though, that if your periods are topsy-turvy, turmeric is also a blood thinner; so, if heavy cycles are what you’re also going through, you might want to consume golden milk in great amounts of moderation.

5. Make Your Bedroom Cold and Dark

Hot flashes can be as simple as feeling the need to kick your sheets off in the middle of the night or as complex as soaking through your bedding via your sweat. One way to lower the chances of either of these things happening is to take the temperature in your bedroom down a few notches; preferably between 60-67 degrees.

Something else that you should do is keep your room as dark as possible by investing in some blackout curtains, putting on a sleep mask (especially if you share your bed with someone), turning off all electronic devices, and turning your alarm clock away from you.

Why? Because some studies indicate that setting your alarm can cause you to look at it off and on throughout the night in anticipation of waking up which can also hinder you from getting all of the rest that your mind and body need.

6. Calm Your Senses

Calm is such a calming word. It means to be still and to get into a state of tranquility. Some of the synonyms for calm include quiet, serene, mild, smooth, soothing, peaceful, and restful. If your hormones are anything but all of this, you’ve got to be serious about doing things that will help to calm them — and you — down.

Read a couple of chapters of a non-stress-filled book. Play some nature sounds. Do some meditation. Get into some deep breathing. Read up on what is known as NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest).

Contrary to popular belief, if you crash into bed, that’s not the sign of being a healthy sleeper; it actually should take you between 15-20 minutes to lull yourself. Making the time to do things that will calm you can get your mind, body, and spirit to a place where you can fall into a deep state of sleep so much easier.

7. Put Some Marjoram Oil on Your Bedding

If you’re someone who likes to cook a lot, you might be familiar with marjoram as an herb that’s pretty popular when it comes to Mediterranean dishes. On the health benefits tip, it’s good for digestive issues and it’s loaded with antioxidants. However, if you apply it to your life as an essential oil, it actually has a sweet musky scent that can help to (get this) regulate your hormones and, quite possibly, your menstrual cycle too!

If you want to test it out, my two cents would be to apply some of this essential oil to your pillows and sheets; and see if it helps you sleep a bit more soundly over the next couple of weeks.

8. Use Your Bedroom for Sex and Sleep ONLY

It really can’t be said enough (by me and interior decorators) that your bedroom is not supposed to be a mini-office, entertainment center, or jungle gym for your kids. Your bedroom should be for sex and sleep ONLY (with very few exceptions).

And honestly, since orgasms help to produce some of the hormones that actually help you to decrease your stress levels as well as help you to sleep better — if you do happen to wake up at 3:30 a.m. and you’ve got a fine specimen in your bed beside you…maybe that’s a sign to get some sex to rock you back to sleep! Can’t think of a better way to end this article, come to think of it. #wink

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