
Another year is here. A year to “get it right” if there are some things that, admittedly, you know you got all wrong in 2021 when it comes to your tresses. As for myself, I’ve got to admit that last year just might be the one that helped me to see the most personal progress. A part of the reason is because I applied some of the very tips that I’m about to recommend to you. So, if you’re ready for your hair to be longer and healthier than it’s been in a really long time, these 11 tips are some of the things that can help you to reach your goal.
1. Get More Vitamin D into Your System
Last spring, I wrote “A Lot Of Black Women Are Vitamin D Deficient. Here's The Fix.” for the platform. There are a myriad of reasons why Vitamin D is important to your overall health and well-being; however, when it comes to your hair specifically, it’s good for you because it stimulates the production of new hair follicles, helps to strengthen old ones and, because a Vitamin D deficiency is connected to hair loss — well, it’s clear that it is imperative to either take a supplement that contains this nutrient and/or eat foods that are high in Vitamin D. Some of those include salmon, cod liver oil, fortified cereals, fortified orange juice and eggs.
2. Eat More Foods That Are High in Zinc
Speaking of foods that you should be consuming, nuts like cashews and peanuts, whole grains, potatoes, kale and pumpkin seeds are all really good for you because they are high in zinc. Your hair needs zinc in order to thrive because it helps to keep your hair follicles moisturized. Not only that but zinc is great when it comes to hair tissue growth and repair. So, if you’re looking for a way to reduce breakage from the inside out, consuming zinc-enriched foods is an effective way to do it.
3. Invest in a Conditioning Cap
There’s no way that your hair is going to stay healthy and grow longer if you’re not deep conditioning it, pretty much on every wash day. If you want to go “2.0” on it, you should cop yourself a conditioning cap. It helps your hair to generate heat, so that whatever conditioner you are using, it will be able to deeply penetrate your hair’s cuticles. Natural Hair Insights is a site that has a list of some conditioning caps that are great for natural hair. You can check it out here.
4. Buy Yourself a Hair Steamer
Speaking of tools that will help to moisturize your hair, if you don’t own a hair steamer, there’s no time like the present to make a move. It’s something else that helps your conditioner to penetrate your hair. It also helps to produce elasticity. If you happen to have low porosity hair (which means it’s hard for your hair to maintain moisture), a hair steamer can keep moisture in your hair for a longer period of time. It can also reduce scalp dryness, itchiness and irritation. As far as the best hair steamers that are currently on the market for us, NaturalHair-Products can totally hook you up. Read their list here.
5. Use More Plastic Sectioning Clips
Trust me, if you’ve got super long, really thick and very curly hair, you are definitely going to need to get yourself some plastic sectioning clips. They will keep you from pulling out a lot of your hair (especially when it’s wet) while doing a lot of brushing and combing. They also work really well on wash days or when you want to detox your scalp (read more about why that’s something you should consider doing by checking out “Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend”). By the way, plastic ones are better than metal ones because metal ones tend to snag your hair which can lead to tangles and breakage.
6. Treat Yourself to Some Almond Milk Rinses
Your hair is made up of mostly protein; so, of course, it needs protein treatments from time to time. All-out protein treatments are recommended every 4-8 weeks but if you want to do some upkeep in between those, DIY an almond milk hair rinse. By combining one-third cup of almond milk (for the protein boost), two tablespoons of honey (honey is a humectant which means it pulls moisture from the air) and one tablespoon of grapeseed oil (it’s loaded with Vitamin E and oxidants) and pouring the rinse on your hair and letting it sit for 20-30 minutes prior to shampooing and conditioning your hair, your locks will not only feel softer but stronger as well.
(By the way, signs that you need aprotein treatment include your hair being spongy, being limp and not being able to hold a style. Also, if you’ve got high porosity hair — which means you’ve got “gaps” in your cuticles that make it easy for your hair to get too much moisture — you definitely could benefit from consistent protein treatments as well.)
7. Massage Your Scalp with Cedarwood Oil
Cedarwood essential oil is good for your scalp and hair for a few reasons. It increases blood circulation to your scalp, so that your hair follicles are able to receive the nutrients that they need. It contains properties that help to keep dandruff and product build-up from irritating your scalp. Cedarwood oil also reduces scalp inflammation, decreases stress levels and helps to keep your scalp and hair moisturized. And since a scalp massage also stimulates hair follicles and decreases stress levels, I’m pretty sure you can see why adding a few drops of cedarwood to your favorite carrier oil, warming it in the microwave for 10 seconds and then gently massaging your scalp with your fingertips can feel super amazing while being really beneficial for your hair, from root to tip, too.
8. Use More Texturizing Serum
When it’s used in moderation, I’m a pretty big fan of hair serum; especially on natural hair. It gives your hair the kind of “slick” that makes it easier to style. It helps to bring sheen to your locks while adding lots of curl definition. It also reduces frizz which is always a huge plus. And if you decide to go with a texturizing cream, it can accentuate your natural texture without making your hair stiff (like some hair serums tend to do when there’s been a bit of build-up). Texturizing serum is also dope because it gives structure to blow-outs and can give you the perfect finger waves if that’s what you’re after. While there are plenty of serums on the market, a brand that’s currently getting a lot of attention in these streets (as far as a texturizing serum goes) is Davines. You can order it here.
9. Ease Up on Your Edges
I once read an article that said that the reason why a lot of us are obsessed with creating “baby hair” is because we’re still falling for the myth of what “good hair” looks like. Whether you believe that or not, what is a fact is hair around your edges and nape are pretty fragile (check out “7 Tips For Getting The Edges And Nape Of Your Neck To Grow Faster”), alcohol-based products will dry them out and could lead to breakage and the less manipulating you do to them, the better. Listen, I know more women than I should who were super caught up in having “laid” edges and/or being careless with lace fronts who are now bald around their edges as a direct result. It’s not worth it when it can be avoided; for a lot of us, taking the “less is more” approach with our edges is the key.
10. Be Super Gentle with Your Ends and Style More with Your Fingers
Your hair is always growing, so to think that you’re not gaining inches because it’s not doing just that is a lie. So long as you don’t have some sort of scalp or hair disorder, the main thing to focus on is making sure that your ends aren’t breaking off at the speed that your hair is growing out of your scalp. Here’s the thing — unless you are styling your hair in a way that calls for clean and precise parts (or you’re detangling on wash day), more times than not, you can survive styling your hair without combs and brushes. This is a good thing to know because when you opt for using your fingers instead, you can feel for knots and tangles; plus, it’s easier to control the amount of pressure that you apply.
As a result, you’ll have less tearing, less breakage and that means you’ll have longer and stronger strands. I won’t lie to you, styling with your fingers requires quite a bit more time and patience — but hey, if that means that there will be less hair in your comb and more on your head, isn’t it worth it? Exactly.
11. REST
Sleep deprivation is directly tied to excessive hair shedding and even hair loss because a lack of sleep reduces the amount of melatonin that your body produces which can hinder hair growth. A lack of rest can also result in your hair being pushed into a “resting phase” where it no longer grows. So, if you know that you’ve been getting less than five hours a night, at least for your hair’s sake, try and push it up to seven. Something tells me that if you do it on a consistent basis, your hair just may surprise you when it comes to how it picks up a bit of speed on the growing tip. Keep us posted.
Featured image by Getty Images
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Someone's Trying To Hook You Up? Ask These 6 Questions First
As we all know, it’s cuffing season. We’re also on the cusp of the holiday season, and that happens to be the time of year when a lot of people get engaged. And that’s why the fall and winter seasons are the times of the year when folks wanna play matchmaker.
And so, sis, if at least one person in your life is currently trying to set you up with someone they know right now — charge it to it being “tis the season” more than anything else. Because let’s be real — folks tend to be more lovey-dovey than ever right about now, and that is usually what inspires them to try to get as many people boo/bae’d up as possible. Chile…CHILE.
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock









