This is the kind of health and wellness article that I especially enjoy writing. The reason why is because, every time a big food trend comes out and/or folks watch some documentary and then vow to never eat a certain food again, I'm usually over here like, "Calm down. No need to be so extreme about everything. Moderation has always been the key".
And so today, we're gonna tackle eight foods that usually are the object of "don't do that" trends and docs. Should you consume them all of the time? As you're about to see in my breakdowns, absolutely not. At the same time, do they have absolutely no redeeming qualities at all? Yeah, that's not the truth either.
So, let's get into some foods that may be considered to be unhealthy, yet can actually benefit you, so long as you know what approach to take to them. Ready?
1. Beer
In order to break all of this down, as thoroughly as possible, it only makes sense to first explain why certain foods are considered to be unhealthy and then follow that up with the actual benefits that come with them. Let's start with beer. It's basically a fermented drink that is made from water, grain, hops and yeast (so if you've got an allergy to any of these things, it would automatically be a no-no for you). Since everything but the water in beer is a carb and carbs turn into sugar in our system, you can probably already guess that beer is a beverage that can help you to pack on the pounds (which is basically where "beer bellies" come from), if you're not careful. Also, consuming too much alcohol can lead to health issues like cirrhosis, hypertension and even breast and colon cancer.
Still, in moderation, beer can actually be a beneficial thing. The hops in it can help to reduce body inflammation; there are extracts in beer that can help to decrease tooth decay; there are also studies citing that moderate alcohol consumption (which includes beer) can reduce the risk for heart disease by as much as 42 percent, and since beer also contains the chemical element silicon, it can be great for increasing bone density and boosting your brain power too.
2. Bread
I know some people who act like bread is the devil. Here's why. Bread, especially white bread, tends to be high in carbs, low in micronutrients and made from sugar and gluten (which we'll get into a bit later). Plus, a lot of breads are made with refined flour which is the kind that has the bran pulled out of it. When you eat this type of bread, it can lead to obesity, heart disease and diabetes.
However, there are breads that are made from sprouted grains which is a good thing. That's because sprouted grains are a good source of protein, fiber, folate and Vitamin C. As a bonus, they're also much easier for your body to digest. If sprouted bread (like Ezekiel Bread) is a bit too "much" for you (it does tend to be a little on the hard side), sourdough contains prebiotics and is low on the sugar level side; 100 percent whole wheat bread leaves all of the grain intact and, flax bread has whole-grain flours and flax seeds which makes it one of the healthiest breads you can eat. Or, if you want to take a stab at making some of your own bread, click here for a recipe for soft whole wheat bread.
3. Hot Wings
I'm pretty much the kind of person who is gonna tear some chicken wings up regardless. But if you were ever wondering why some folks frown on this particular food, it's because, not only are (most) wings pretty much only comprised of skin and fat, the really good-tasting ones are usually fried. In fact, I once read somewhere that one wing can be anywhere between 165 and 200 calories. Then, if you add the ranch or blue cheese dressing into the mix, you're getting about 700 calories more (for five tablespoons).
So, what could possibly be the good side of 'em? It's actually the chicken itself. Chicken contains Vitamin B12 and choline which can help your nervous system to function properly. Chicken also has the amino acid tryptophan in it which makes it easier for your serotonin levels to stay in balance so that you can remain in a calm and relaxed mood. Chicken is also an awesome source of protein and we all need that for healthy hair and nails, to build muscle mass, and to keep building up our cells, bones, and what comprises our skin. Bottom line, if you want to keep a lot of the calories at bay, baking your wings instead of frying them is gonna be your best bet.
4. Cereal
If cereal is your favorite breakfast food, I get why you might want to skip over this particular point yet try and bear with me, OK? The main reason why breakfast cereal is so problematic is a lot of brands are loaded with sugar, preservatives and refined carbs (which are basically carbohydrates that have been stripped of all their nutrients). One way to know if yours falls into this category is to check out the label. If you see that sugar is the second or third ingredient, it's got way more than what you need. Plus, a lot of breakfast cereals are also highly processed which is never a good thing.
So, what possibly could be good about breakfast cereal? Well, if you look for the kind that are high in fiber and low in sugar, you can still enjoy the convenience of eating cereal without compromising your health in the process. If you're curious to know what some of those brands are, Good Housekeeping did an article featuring 30 of 'em. You can check that out here.
5. Juice
Before getting into this one, it's important to put on record that eating a piece of fruit is so much better for you than drinking fruit juice. The main reason why is because when fruit is in its purest form, it's got the skin as well as the pulp which gives you unprocessed nutrients and fiber. That said, drinking juice can sometimes be an issue because it is a source of sugar and, based on how it's made, the sugar amount can be a lot. Just think about it—if you read the back of a label of your favorite juice brand, oftentimes the caloric intake is as much as 120-170 calories per serving. This means that you could easily consume all of the calories you need a day (which is roughly somewhere between 1600-2400 for us) by drinking a few glasses of juice alone! That's why moderation is key. Also, you should avoid juice cocktail (that is definitely full of sugar) or pasteurized juices; those typically have compromised nutritional content in them. I've also read that juice that has the label "not from concentrate" isn't a good look because those are oftentimes stored in tanks that don't contain much oxygen; as a direct result, the flavor and quality isn't all that great.
Still, if you're intentional about purchasing 100 percent juice, a cup of it will roughly equate to one serving of fresh fruit. And since fruit contains antioxidants, fiber, potassium and folate (for starters), it's not a bad thing to drink juice. It's all about selecting the right quality and not drinking it like it's water. 2-3 glasses a day is more than plenty.
6. Red Meat
Something else that some people loathe is red meat. I absolutely am not one of them. Anyway, the reason why it tends to be a very controversial topic is because of how some cows are treated (that's a fair point) and also because a lot of meat is processed improperly which leads to consuming hormones and preservatives. Plus, the fat that oftentimes comes with red meat can increase your chances of diabetes, heart disease, and certain cancers (mostly colorectal cancer although it's actually a pretty low chance).
Why doesn't any of this absolutely terrify me? It's because I also know that red meat is high in protein, B-vitamins, iron, zinc, and selenium. As with just about everything on this list, the key is not to eat it all day, every day. Consuming a leaner cut, eating it no more than three times a week, and baking, steaming, or stewing it as much as possible helps you to get more benefits from red meat while lowering your chances of experiencing any health risks in the process.
7. Cocktails
Do you enjoy a nice cocktail at the end of the day? Aside from what I shared about alcohol in the beer section, the main things to keep in mind is alcoholic drinks tend to be high in calories and drinking too much can sho 'nuf turn you into an alcoholic. But if you're someone who only has one a day (or even better, 3-4 of 'em a week), for the most part, you should be fine (check out "Liquors That Are Gluten-Free (& Beneficial In Other Ways)"). Alcohol can boost your libido, make you less susceptible to colds and can even lower your risk of being diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease up the pike too. I've even read that 1-2 a day can lower the risk of death by as much as 18 percent. Sounds like a good reason to have margarita or mojito to me.
8. Gluten
I'm pretty sure that a lot of y'all remember how going gluten-free was all the rage a few years back. If you've ever wondered what exactly gluten is, the best way to probably describe it is, it's a group of seed storage proteins; although, to be fair, it is mostly comprised of wheat protein. The reason why some doctors and nutritionists frown at gluten is because, clearly, if you have a wheat allergy of some sort, consuming it is only going to make your symptoms worse. Not only that but, if you've been diagnosed with the autoimmune disorder celiac disease, gluten can actually cause your immune system to attack your small intestine. Also, people with a form of celiac disease known as dermatitis herpetiformis (DH) should stay away from gluten because it can attack their skin rather than their small intestine.
But what if you don't have any of these issues? Well, because gluten falls into the carbs category and carbs (good carbs, that is) make up 50-60 percent of our diet, that is one reason to not go totally without it. Also, if you've heard someone say that gluten can cause you to pack on the pounds, that's a myth. In fact, oftentimes it's the gluten-free brands that have more calories (due to more "filler sugar" that's added) than the ones that contain gluten. And finally, while gluten itself isn't something that's loaded with nutrients, because gluten is usually found in foods like whole grains (which are packed with vitamins and minerals), the focus needs to be more on if the food that contains gluten is good for you; gluten being in it is really not that big of a deal.
Welp. I hope that debunked certain myths that you've heard. Listen, 2020 showed all the way out so, if you wanna have a beer and some chicken wings every once in a while—do it. It's not as bad as you might've thought it was. Sis, you're totally welcome.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Sex & The New Year: Single Women Get Candid About Their 2025 Intimacy Goals
Fail to plan, plan to fail. It is certainly a saying that all of us have heard at one point or another; however, when it comes to sex, specifically, and definitely when it comes to women who aren’t married or in a serious relationship, I’m not so sure that plans are encouraged as much as they probably should be. I don’t just mean planning to get tested with partners or planning to use birth control — hopefully, those things are a given (right?).
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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