Tracee Ellis Ross Wrote A Book Teaching Men How To Not Sexually Assault Women & It's Everything
“Let's start with the fact that it isn't a sex scandal. It isn't a Hollywood scandal. It isn't even a scandal. It is a systemic problem about the abuse of power that takes place across all industries."
Tracee Ellis Ross has a word for men who don't know how to act. The Black-ish star graced The Jimmy Kimmel Show last night and addressed the influx of sexual harassment cases that have been circulating in the news whilst simultaneously giving men the scoop on what not to do with their hands. (Or their junk.)
“Treating another human being with respect isn't complicated but it seems confusing for a lot of men out there," Tracee said as she introduced her "children's book for men" titled, The Handsy Man.
Passages from the book, read like something between Langston Hughes and Dr. Seuss, and included instructions for men who seem a bit confused about the concept of consent these days:
You may not compliment my butt
You may not call me "ho" or "slut"
And even if you're stoned or drunk
Do not expose me to your junk
And if I am your employee
don't rest your hand upon my knee
No, I won't sit on your lap
I shouldn't have to say this crap
It seems as if there's a lot of confused, Handsy Men out there not understanding the concept of what constitutes appropriate behavior. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to understand that it is okay for me to deny a man's creepy tendencies. As a young woman in the workforce, there is so much male authority surrounding us that we are manipulated to believe there is no such thing as saying “no," or even kindly denying platonic affection in the workplace.
Tracee's book is a reminder to men of what is appropriate and what is not, and an affirmation for women to stand in your power and be validated in your reasons for saying "no." If you aren't comfortable, that is more than enough reason for them to discontinue their behavior.
So Handsy Man, if you're still confused
whether your behavior will be excused
I'll say it clearly, nice and slow
If she doesn't consent - the answer is NO.
I hope that the not-so-subtle subtleties of Tracee's book shed some light on the climate of sexual assault that is happening across all industries.
Pour me up a glass of male tears to drinketh, and make your hands useful, Handsy Man.
Watch Tracee read from passages of the book below:
Olivia Jade is a writer and creative engineer, intersecting wellness, culture, womanism, and self-development. She waters the flowers in her mind so others can recognize their own internal garden. Link up: @akaoliviajade (Twitter and IG) oliviajade.co
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Exclusive: Koryn Hawthorne On Her Miraculous Love Story: ‘I Was Never A Girlfriend’
Gospel singer Koryn Hawthorne has used her voice to let the world know about what God can do, and now the Season 8 finalist of NBC’s The Voice is sharing a miraculous act that led to her engagement.
The Praise This actress shared in an interview with xoNecole that prior to becoming engaged to her partner, Hunter Register, she passed over one particular title on her way to becoming a fiancée.
“I was never a girlfriend,” Hawthorn, 26, tells xoNecole.
“We've known each other since we were kids, so we just kind of always had this distant friendship. We would hit each other up on social media, and [I] slide up under things that he was posting,” she says. “We ended up hanging out together, and when we hung out, it was an instant immediate connection from all fronts. I think we just knew from the first day that I don't want to spend a day apart from you.”
Koryn Hawthorne On Her Miraculous Love Story, New Album, & More
She continued, "And yeah, we probably were boyfriend or girlfriend after — am I delusional? Then we were engaged a few months later.”
The Grammy-nominated singer, who became engaged in November of 2023, went on to share what her experience has been preparing to become a wife, exploring the personal growth, challenges, and emotions experienced throughout the process.
“It's a journey, I'm not gonna lie,” she says. “Relationships, in general, are hard, and whenever you think about marriage, is just different from being boyfriend and girlfriend because if you piss me off, I could just go,” she shared. “But marriage is an actual commitment. It's a partnership. It's a ministry.”
Hawthorne, 26, and Register, 27, were childhood friends growing up in Louisiana and sealed their love during a weekend getaway in New Orleans last fall.
For the gospel star, marriage involves more than lovely-dovey aspects, emphasizing how her relationship has allowed her to grow, mature, and learn valuable lessons through love.
“We were supposed to get married in May, but like for us to be mature enough to be like, ‘You know what? No, let's take the necessary time to make sure that we're fully prepared for this commitment such a beautiful thing,” Hawthorne reflected.
“It's a learning curve for sure, but our preparation for marriage would have been the only thing that brought this out of me. It's hard and it's scary at times, but it's God's purpose and His plan for our lives.”
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