Growing up, teachers were real-life superheros. Always organized and knew what to do, regardless of the situation. They were the forefront of the school, nurturing in nature, and social workers, educators, friends, disciplinarians, and intermittent parents all in one.
And obviously, with being in the midst of a pandemic, like most life-altering cases involving kids, teachers are most affected. Beginning in the spring of the previous school year, schools were shut down and students, parents, and teachers were thrown in virtual gauntlet—a world many of them were completely unfamiliar with.
There was minimal instruction, unclear best practices, and just plain ole uncertainty.
This made me wonder, what would they have to say about the current state of teaching? What changes have they noticed, how have their students been affected, and what good and bad shifts, in educating, have developed? To answer those questions, I found four teachers willing to discuss this newfound adjustment to pandemic learning.
Here's what they told me:
Nicole Jennings on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of Nicole Jennings
Location: Prince George's County, Maryland
Grade: 2nd
Length of being a teacher: 8 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
Teaching during this pandemic has been such an interesting experience--full of anxiety and challenges but also victories and growth. At the beginning of the year, there were so many obstacles to overcome. Students didn't know how to use the technology they had been given. Helping my parents was an arduous task due to language barriers, lack of experience with technology, and even illiteracy in some cases. The expectations of the district were extremely overwhelming for teachers, parents and students. Trying to figure out how best to help parents and students required a lot of trial and error until I figured out routines, resources and support that worked for us.
I thought that the teaching itself would be the hardest part but I have been pleasantly surprised to find that it is the most enjoyable. I really enjoy engaging with my students on various digital platforms. So many of them caught on so quickly. I like to think of them as technology experts-in-training. In some ways it feels like my first year of teaching all over again. I have to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about teaching and modify it to fit the realities of distance learning.
I feel anxious and stressed almost every single day. It has been so much harder to maintain a healthy work/life balance this year and sometimes I feel upset that I have failed at maintaining a balance. It has been hard to accept that I can not give more than I am currently giving for the sake of my mental health and wellness. We all know that teachers are woefully overworked and underpaid. I feel it this year more than ever.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
Prior to distance learning, lack of equity has been an ongoing issue within the education system. Many students were not getting the intervention or services they needed while in the school setting. Students are "falling behind". The achievement gap is widening every day that they are not receiving the in-person instruction they need.
The hardest part of distance learning is definitely the amount of time that has to be invested into it. It is extremely time-consuming. I feel like 75 percent of my work is done beyond duty hours, after school and on the weekends. On some days, I am up planning and creating digital lessons and assignments until 11:00pm. Daily, I find myself feeling tired, tense and frustrated.
On a more positive note, everyone involved in distance learning is growing in some sort of way. I have learned a lot about my capabilities as a teacher. I have been exposed to programs and digital platforms that I probably would've never tried. Distance learning has immersed students in the world of technology. As a teacher, it is such a good feeling to watch students grow and develop their skills and interests.
I love watching my future engineers and computer scientists discovering new things while learning through inquiry. I see their curiosity growing and their ability to problem solve strengthening. If I can successfully build positive relationships with families while providing effective instruction during distance learning, I know I can do anything.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
Distance learning is so hard but we are trying! Please know that teachers are putting in the work daily. We know that this is especially hard for families. We are advocating for families and doing everything we can to help our students. Know that your concerns are not going unheard. We are aggressively passing them along and fighting for you!
Please be kind with us. Check on your teacher friends. Teaching during a pandemic is taxing and not all of us are OK.
My advice for teachers is to not recreate the wheel. If there is a free Teachers Pay Teachers or Nearpod lesson you can use, use it! Take it and modify to fit the needs of your students but do not start from scratch for every single lesson. Collaborate with your teammates, divvy up the workload. If you are not departmentalized, have each teammate take a subject to plan for so that you do not have to plan for each and every subject.
Do whatever you must to lessen your workload so you can reclaim and reinvest that time back into yourself.
L'Tanya Taylor on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of L'Tanya Taylor
Location: Houston, Texas
Grade: 8th grade ELA
Length of being a teacher: 6 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
My experience during this pandemic had been hectic to say the least. Not only am I a teacher but I'm also a single mother of two school-aged children. Balancing working from home while they attending "virtual school" was challenging, but now we are all back on campus. The workload is still heavy. The only difference is now everything is digital so the teachers and the students have a learning curve. Getting "virtual students" to actively participate has also proven to be difficult.
Many students go weeks at a time before they attempt to do the work and it puts them further behind, causing greater gaps in their learning. There are also numerous students who have been unaccounted for. They have never checked in, therefore the district has to classify them as dropouts.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
The only pro I can think of is the incorporation of technology. COVID-19 has allotted a unique way for teachers to implement instruction that is fun and engaging. Although physical classroom instruction is best, the way we now implement that instruction looks very different. Instructional practices are limited, and students and teachers are in constant fear [of contracting the virus]. Social interactions are closely monitored and highly restricted for students and staff alike.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
Prior to the school year, my biggest concerns were how would I build relationships with my students and what learning gaps would need to be addressed.
But now my biggest gripe is that teachers are not on-call workers. We have our own lives and our own families. We know that students and parents have concerns (we have them too) but please respect our time and office hours. Also please be patient. This is new for everyone. We are all experiencing a learning curve.
We also need parent/guardian support. Have your child on the scheduled Zoom and Google Meet sessions. Please treat their learning time at home the same way you would if they were physically at school.
And teachers, be kind to yourself. Take care of your needs, continue to build relationships with your students. And Nearpod is a life-saver.
Jassmine Smith on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of Jassmine Smith
Location: Atlanta, GA
Grade: 4th grade/ Special Education
Length of being a teacher: 4 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
As one can imagine, this year has been the most unique of them all. My school district is currently 100 percent online, and the model is constantly being reassessed based on the number of COVID cases. As a special education teacher, it has been very difficult adjusting to virtual teaching. The level of documentation that is being requested is insane. It has doubled since going virtual.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
Many of my students are struggling to stay attentive during lessons, as they are not used to sitting at a computer for the majority of the day. Some students don't show up for virtual instruction at all. I have enjoyed being able to work a couple of feet from my bed, but I miss being able to see my students face-to-face. There were no two days that were the same.
On the contrary, students and teachers are becoming much more tech-savvy. Virtual learning was inevitable, but we had no clue that it would come this soon.There are a lot of educational programs that offer excellent instructional support. Additionally, I truly miss seeing my students in-person and feeding off of their energy. It is difficult for students to collaborate and complete assignments together.
Most teachers are working twice as hard as they were in-person.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
There were many praises exclaimed for teachers, but all I could think was, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!" I thought the gratitude would have been shown by giving us a well-deserved pay increase. Instead, in my state, our pay was cut and we experienced an insurance cost increase.
I wish people knew that educators are working twice as hard to ensure that students receive the necessary instruction. In the midst of the pandemic, many districts have cut teachers' pay, and expect the same level of performance prior to the pandemic. Teachers are being evaluated on performance and students are expected to complete a standardized test, as if life has returned to normal. I personally feel that teachers are not given the grace that we are expected to give students and parents due to the pandemic.
I advise all teachers to prioritize themselves, especially in these times. We should make time to pour into ourselves so that we don't burn out by constantly pouring into others. Secondly, GIVE YOURSELF A RAISE! It is apparent that we can not wait for our states and counties to give us what we deserve. I encourage teachers to develop their passions into a side hustle. Provide yourself the lifestyle you deserve and desire.
Corine White on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of Corine White
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Grade: 1st
Length: 2 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
Teaching during a pandemic has been tiring. Last year, school ended quickly and without much time we had to bring many resources digital. That was difficult for me because I had never taught virtually before. I was somewhat at ease because I knew that even though this was our current circumstance, it may not be for long. I was obviously wrong and now that we are expected to have Zoom school every day, testing, assignments on seesaw, and stay in constant communication with parents, it is exhausting.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
Some pros are not having a full school day, not having to get fully dressed for the weather elements, and being able to eat whatever I want without smelling up the staff microwave. The con is that many parents and people with other professions don't quite understand the amount of work and stress that teachers are now under because of the changes.
I've been yelled at and made to feel disposable by so many parents and others that it often makes me feel like no one has our backs.
I thought the pandemic would be over in no time. I didn't think that I would be where I am now and not being able to physically go to work. I never thought that I would be teaching from a screen and trying to come up with every way to keep my scholars from falling asleep, or to stop unmuting themselves.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
I wish people knew that it is way more work. There's a large misconception that our jobs are easier now when, in reality, virtual learning has made our careers a lot tougher.
To other teachers out there, you are good enough. Don't get down on yourself because your students aren't understanding the material or aren't paying attention. As long as you are doing what you can, that's all you can do. Do your best not to lose sleep or not to spend time with friends/family because of work. There are teachers out there who are going through the same feelings. Reach out to them at your school or on Instagram because we are all feeling it right now.
Feature image courtesy of Jassmine Smith
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Exclusive: Dreka Gates Talks Farm Life, Self-Mastery, And Her Wellness Brand
Dreka Gates is making a name in wellness through authenticity and innovativeness. Although we were introduced to her as a music manager for her husband, Kevin Gates, she has now carved out her own lane outside of music as a wellness entrepreneur. But according to Dreka, this is nothing new.
In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
Courtesy
If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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Bi In A Straight-Presenting Relationship? Here’s What To Consider Before Coming Out
I don't know if it was Kehlani's latest tour or Teyana Taylor and Victoria Monét’s sizzling Usher tribute at the BET Awards, but something has sparked a lot of us into a late-in-life bi-awakening. Even Keke Palmer shared that she’s not strictly into men. But let’s be real: admitting you might not be fully straight while already in a relationship with a man? That can be downright terrifying.
Cultural norms and societal expectations can make you second-guess whether you should even speak your truth. The thing is, most bisexual people are in what’s called "hetero-presenting" relationships—meaning, from the outside, it looks like a heterosexual relationship, but in reality, one (or both!) partner(s) may be bisexual. Being bi but appearing straight? It’s more common than you think. This phenomenon makes bi-erasure even more real!
Realizing you’re bisexual while in a hetero-presenting relationship doesn’t automatically mean you want to jump ship. So what now? How do you navigate this revelation and still keep your relationship intact? How do you even bring this up to your boyfriend or husband? And let’s be real—should you come out at all?
'Is Coming Out Even Worth It?'
Coming out can mean showing up more authentically, finding new communities, and maybe even expanding your dating options (depending on what you and your partner agree on, of course).
Many bi folks feel a huge sense of relief after coming out to their partners and loved ones. As sex therapist Shadeen Francis puts it, “This can be an exciting and growth-filled time. People often experience a renewed curiosity about themselves or their relationship, awe about their sexuality, and a deeper interest in or appreciation for their partner.” In fact, your bi-awakening might even bring you closer to your partner. Vulnerability in a safe, supportive relationship can really deepen your connection.
Shadeen also points out that “partners can be inspired to explore themselves more deeply. While it may not always be about sexuality, one person’s self-discovery often sparks reflection for those around them, including spouses.” In other words, honesty breeds emotional closeness.
What If Things Go Left?
It’s important to keep in mind that not every coming out story is all sunshine and rainbows. Coming out as bisexual while in a heterosexual relationship is a deeply personal experience that can shake up everything you thought you knew about yourself. For Black women, this journey is even more layered. “Cultural upbringing, race, and religion can all influence how you discover, accept, and navigate your new sexual identity,” explains certified sex educator Taylor M. Akers.
Realizing you're bisexual can be both liberating and terrifying. The fear of how your partner, family, or community might react can bring up waves of anxiety and self-doubt. You might wonder if you’re risking the safety of your relationship or your sense of belonging. And let’s be real, if your partner or your people don’t vibe with bisexuality, it can trigger feelings of rejection and leave you feeling misunderstood.
As Taylor Akers points out, the idea of coming out can even activate your survival instincts. “They may fear losing the security of their current relationship and the stability it provides. Feelings of rejection could arise, leading to anxiety or depression, especially if their spouse, family, or social circle culturally disagrees or is indifferent to bisexuality. That can feel unsafe and threatening to one’s sense of self and identity.”
While those fears and risks are real, it's important to remember that without risk, there can be no reward. Stay rooted in your 'why' when navigating the tough parts of these conversations, and remember that those who truly love you will want you to express yourself fully.
How To Navigate the Conversation
Once you've decided that coming out is worth it because you want to be fully seen for who you are, think carefully about when and how to tell your partner. Timing is everything—avoid dropping this potentially relationship-shifting conversation when they’ve just woken up or walked in from work. Sex Therapist Kamil Lewis suggests, “I recommend having the conversation at a low-stress time, maybe over dinner, after watching a show together, or during a light conversation about your relationship.”
Once you’ve picked your moment, connect with your support system! Whether the conversation goes smoothly or takes a turn, you’ll want someone on standby—whether to celebrate with or to lean on. Kamil adds, “If a close friend or family member knows about your bisexuality, let them know when you plan to talk to your partner. That way, they can offer support, no matter the outcome.”
When it’s time to talk, here’s a pro tip: keep the focus on your own experience. Sex therapist Shadeen Francis advises, “Share your feelings using ‘I’ statements, like ‘I’ve realized’ or ‘I feel.’ Then, listen to your partner’s reactions without judgment.” It’s important not to expect any specific response—they might need time to process before they can fully express how they feel. And above all, if you’re committed to the relationship, say so! As Shadeen points out, “It can be reassuring for your partner to hear, as many assume this means you want to break up.”
This conversation might also turn into a teaching moment. In a world shaped by compulsory heterosexuality, your partner might not fully grasp what “coming out” as bisexual means. So, open that notes app and jot down your thoughts ahead of time. Think about what specifically you want to share—and don’t hesitate to practice the conversation beforehand.
The Bottom Line
Ultimately, deciding whether to come out as bisexual while in a relationship with a man is a deeply personal choice, but it’s also one that can combat the erasure of bisexual identities. As we’ve explored, this journey can be both liberating and anxiety-inducing. Bisexuality is often misunderstood or overlooked, especially in hetero-presenting relationships, and coming out can be a powerful way to affirm your truth—not just for yourself, but for others who may feel unseen.
Whether it’s the joy of being more authentically known, the emotional closeness that honesty can bring, or the fear of potential rejection, remember that there’s no one right way to navigate this.
If you feel ready to share this part of yourself, consider the timing and approach with care, lean on your support system, and speak from the heart. And if the conversation takes an unexpected turn? Give your partner space to process, but also let them know your commitment to the relationship remains intact. This isn't just about coming out—it’s about resisting erasure, embracing your full self, and nurturing the love and connection you've already built.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images