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Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all situation and nobody knows this better than T.I. and his daughter, Deyjah, who just weathered one helluva media storm.
Earlier this month, the 39-year-old rapper set off what he calls "Hymen Gate", after revealing that he took yearly trips to the gynecologist with his daughter to confirm her virginity (or lack thereof) on a since-deleted episode of Nazanin Mandi'sLadies Like Us podcast.
T.I.'s comments triggered an intense online debate about the roles and responsibilities of fathers in the Black community, which ultimately caught the attention of Jada Pinkett-Smith and her mom, Adrienne Banfield-Jones, who invited the entertainer on an episode of Red Table Talk to clear the air and clarify his comments for the first time since the chaos erupted.
Here's what we learned:
According To T.I., Deyjah's Mom Was Totally On-Board.
While some critics of T.I.'s tactics questioned why Deyjah's mom wasn't involved, according to T.I. she was totally present. While Deyjah's mother's recent Instagram posts suggests differently, he said that both Deyjah and her mother were totally on-board with her annual trips to the gynecologist. The rapper explained that his comments were taken totally out of context and clarified that he was never in the exam room when these "tests" were administered.
His Silence Since The Incident Was At Deyjah's Request.
When you know better, you do better. And T.I. says since the incident, he's become hypersensitive to the feminine journey when it comes to his parenting approach. The rapper, who says he was previously "oblivious" to the sensitivity of the subject, got a dose of reality after realizing how the situation affected his daughter. At Deyjah's request, he stayed silent amidst the backlash in an effort to protect her feelings:
"I didn't get it, I was oblivious to it. However, I am now sensitive to it for her. My daughter said, 'Just let it go. Don't say nothing, just let it go.' And I didn't until I had different directives. [Until she said] 'Go ahead, make it stop. Clear it up.'"
There's A Difference Between Protection & Control.
While I think every parent can understand the innate desire to protect your child from the ills of this world, and for T.I., that happens to be the "slimy, grimy, chubby-fingered little boys" who want to "defile and destroy the sanctity" of what he holds dearest to his heart. He explained:
"For the purpose of being a protective parent, there's no such thing as over-protective. There's just protected and unprotected."
Although T.I. had a potent point, Mama Adrienne's face throughout the interview said it all and she… wasn't here for it. There is a big difference between protection and control and both Adrienne and Jada made sure to call a thing a thing. Jada told T.I.:
"A woman's journey in regards to her sexuality has to be guided. Mostly, I think, by mothers. That's just me personally, but mother, in truly understanding what that journey is, takes her daughter's hand and walks her through.That's how I worked that out with Will."
"There's just certain things about raising a man that I can't know. I would tell him, love your daughter. Let me teach her. There's certain sensitivities that you just don't understand just because of your relationship in the world is different than a woman's relationship."
This Was A Teachable Moment For T.I.
While we can debate T.I.'s parenting style all day, one thing that's undeniable is that he loves his daughter. Even though his previous comments were misguided, it was clear that the rapper came to the Red Table to learn, and Jada and Adrienne did not come to play about teaching him a thing or two. The father-of-six shared:
"I think that it's great for me to have this opportunity. And I think that all things happen in life for a reason. You know, every lesson has a purpose and it must be dealt with differently, but out of care and out of concern, not out of control. I don't think that [our] community, our culture, our generation can be pushed forward by having comfortable, convenient discussions. You have to have tough discussions in order to move forward."
Check out the full episode below!
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Featured image by Instagram/@RedTableTalk.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
Looking for ways to level up your solo sex sessions or your partnered sex play? Entering the wonderful world of arousal oils might be exactly what the doctor ordered. As its name suggests, arousal oil arouses. And they might very well be the pleasurable vessel through which your mind-blowing orgasms can be beckoned. Specifically, arousal oils are a pleasure-enhancing sex lubricant intended to increase the sensitivity to your nipples, your vulva, or your clitoris, just to start.
With an ingredient list that can include the likes of CBD, ashwagandha, and essential oils, arousal oils act as an aphrodisiac in a bottle, maximizing intensity and heightening the levels of pleasure you feel, thereby making your climax that much more attainable.
Keep reading for our selection of some of the best arousal oils in the game right now.
Bloomi Luxe Arousal Oil
Described as a "sensual pleasure oil," the Luxe Arousal Oil by Bloomi is clean with plant-derived organic ingredients. With 2-4 pumps, a gentle massage with this oil-based intimacy oil is formulated to intensify pleasure to your clitoris, your vulva, your thighs, or anywhere else you care to use it, before and during the act.
Foria Awaken Arousal Oil
Not only do reviewers rave about the "incredible o's" from Awaken Arousal Oil, but this best-seller is also known for its sensuous aroma, slip, and feel. With the uncanny ability to enhance sensations, users of the product have reported reinvigorated orgasms and renewed sex lives. And all we have to say is, say less.
Mood Maker Pleasure-Enhancing Intimacy Oil for Couples
Amazon
The Mood Maker had us at hello. Christina Aguilera's sex oil is where luxury and intimacy meet. Thanks to the relaxation facilitated by magic mushrooms and pleasure-enhancing adaptogens, the Mood Maker lays the groundwork for easeful foreplay, sex, and even an encore. With its texture like silk and warm scent, the oil effortlessly sets the perfect mood for pleasure play and allows your body to follow suit.
Lure Deluxe Intimacy Oil
Sultry, clean, and moisturizing are the cornerstones of this intimacy oil. The oil is formulated with organic ingredients like MCT coconut oil and CBD, so there is no need to worry about throwing off your pH balance or leaving behind a sticky residue when using it for intimate moments. The silky texture provides a sensual slip that is all gas no brakes, creating a slip n' slide glide during partner play, as well as solo play.
Bonus points: since it's all-natural, it's also oral-friendly. So Deluxe Intimacy Oil is queening-approved.
Green Compass Intimacy Oil
Green Compass
Entice and awaken your pleasure and your senses with the Intimacy Oil by Green Compass. An intimacy oil made for every body, this oil is fragrance-free, paraben-free, and silicone-free and formulated with plant-based and organic ingredients. With ingredients like organic hemp flower extract, coconut oil, and jojoba oil, the pleasure felt and experienced in intimate areas becomes even more intense upon application.
FOCL CBD Arousal Oil
Loved by users for its "perfect texture," its "warm wonderful feeling," and the fact that it's "non-irritating," the CBD Arousal Oil by FOCL is definitely worthy of a spot in your tox boy. Like other CBD oils, the hemp-derived product is said to ease tension and promote blood flow, which are major keys to enhancing and maximizing your sexual pleasure.
Sensuva On Arousal Oil
Amazon
Looks like we saved the best for last. Available in Lite, Original, and Ultra to give you the ability to choose the intensity that suits your intimate moments best, the On Arousal Oil by Sensuva is said to be one of the most powerful arousal oils on the market with good reason. With a "unique, buzzing vibration sensation on the clitoris," in 1-2 drops, On Arousal delivers more sensation during sex, helps women achieve orgasms quicker and more intensely, and can also help curb any issues with vaginal dryness.
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T.I. & Tiny Sit Down At The Red Table To Discuss Backlash From 'Hymen Check' Controversy