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Black Girl's Healing House Founder Schools Us On The Soft Life
The strong Black woman trope has had us in a chokehold for years but a new movement has been overtaking our social media feeds as the cure, the soft life. Since the soft life has become a trending topic, there have been many misconceptions about the term and what it truly means to live softly. The founder of Black Girl's Healing House, Delilah Antionette, promotes this innovative way of thinking in her popular Facebook group and even sees it as a form of wellness.
If you are wanting to manifest a soft life in 2023, Delilah has the perfect tips for you. xoNecole spoke with the wellness entrepreneur about being a Black woman in the holistic space, creating a platform for Black women to feel seen, and how you can join the soft life.
xoNecole: Tell us a little about yourself and how Black Girl’s Healing House started.
Delilah Antionette: I started my healing journey a few years ago after I graduated from college. I was struggling with anxiety and depression and finding mental healthcare was difficult for me. I ran into challenges such as affordability and cultural competency so I turned to holistic wellness. I got into crystals, the chakra system, yoga, self-development, and astrology.
But, I found that in the wellness industry, there were not many representations of me. I would often be the only Black girl in class, I would get awkward looks and racially profiled. I didn’t necessarily feel safe in these healing spaces.
I hoped that I could also find a community while I was on this journey but there weren’t any there yet so I created Black Girl’s Healing House-- the Facebook group.
Within years we’ve grown to over 60,000 Black women around the world who are also on this journey of healing.
xoN: 'Soft life' has been a buzzword in 2022 but there have been many misconceptions about it such as it is seen as a luxury and not a necessity. What is a soft life and what isn’t a soft life?
DA: I see this argument a lot in our community and some would define it as luxury and femininity, and others just do not understand the need for Black women to be soft. I am so for the soft life. I do not wish to ever struggle or get things [muddy.] It’s exhausting.
For me, when I think of the soft life I think of healing. I think about letting go of the version of myself that I created for my survival. And oftentimes when we’ve been through trauma we create tough exteriors to protect us from getting hurt again. I want to be able to be more vulnerable yet have healthy boundaries, I want to have strong bonds with people and I want to be kinder to myself. I want to experience all of the little luxuries that life has to offer and I feel that I can achieve this through softness.
I believe that working towards a soft life is generationally healing. The women in my family could never experience softness and I hate that. I want my children to have that privilege so that they can experience the highest level of their potential.
"When I think of soft life I think of healing. I think about letting go of the version of myself that I created for my survival."
xoN: How does the soft life relate to wellness?
DA: Soft life promotes a healthier way of being. Soft life teaches you to slow down and ground yourself. You learn to stop prioritizing hustling and start prioritizing flow state which can be achieved through self-care. And again healing plays a major role in your ability to have a soft life.
xoN: What are five ways Black women can manifest a soft life in 2023?
DA: Starting therapy. Self-care. Movement, such as yoga or Pilates. Joining a supportive community. Getting [in tune] with your intuition.
xoN: What does Black Girl’s Healing House have in store for 2023?
DA: Black Girl’s Healing House is working on building our directory of Black female holistic wellness professionals for our community. While admiring our Facebook group, I saw that our members were always in search of holistic therapists, Black girl-friendly yoga classes, and wellness spas and I was so lucky to meet so many healers in our community. So I created a platform where Black women can find culturally competent holistic care.
On our website blackgirlshealinghouse.com you would be able to search for mental health professionals, doulas and midwives, dermatologists, spas, and fitness classes in your local area.
For more of Delilah on Facebook and Instagram @blackgirlshealinghouse.
Feature image courtesy of Delilah Antionette
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
Shaunie Henderson On Being A Nontraditional Pastor Wife
Shaunie Henderson, the creator and executive producer of Basketball Wives, redefines traditional expectations as a pastor's spouse and first lady of The Lighthouse Church.
The star's journey began with a whirlwind romance with Pastor Keion Henderson in 2020, which led to their marriage years later. Since then, Shaunie has embraced many typical first lady roles, including supporting her husband, engaging in ministry responsibilities, providing spiritual leadership, and conducting community outreach.
Yet, the 49-year-old's background sets her apart from other first ladies. Shaunie brings a unique perspective as a public figure, which stems from her previous marriage to NBA star Shaquille O'Neal and her experience in reality television.
In an interview with xoNecole, while promoting her memoir Undefeated, the Basketball Wives creator discussed what being a first lady means to her and how she has lived her life non-traditionally.
When asked if she had always been nontraditional, Shaunie revealed that throughout her life, she has made it her mission to better herself by learning from experiences and breaking harmful cycles.
Shaunie Henderson and Pastor Keion Henderson
Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images
“I think that's just who I am. I can’t say I intentionally go against the grain. In the book, I talk about things from my childhood, like my dad being late all the time. I was totally opposite with my kids when they were in school. I was always there early. My mother is not affectionate, and she doesn't verbally say, ‘I love you,’ but she does things to let you know. That's the way she shows her love,” she said when describing her relationship with her parents.
“But because I missed that 'I love you' and hugging and kissing, I do that with my kids. I try to always give what I needed myself. There were basketball wives who weren’t very nice to me, so I went out of my way to make sure that once I was a wife that I didn't treat anybody else like that. No one was going to feel like that on my watch.”
Toward the end of the conversation, when discussing her first lady responsibilities and the pressures of upholding that image, the mother of five explained she isn't too hard on herself to fit the mold, given her significantly different background from most first ladies and her relatively new role.
“As far as being first lady, now, I'm not knocking how any first ladies decide to operate but I just knew that the idea of what that usually is was not me. And, to be honest, rightfully so. I'm probably the only first lady that created a reality show that has been on television since 2010. My life is not remotely close to that of most first ladies. We've experienced completely different things. Most of them have been pastor’s wives for a long time, this is all new for me. I come with an entirely different journey; that wouldn’t lend itself to being a traditional first lady,” she stated.
Shaunie's nontraditional approach appears to work in her favor, as she has been welcomed with open arms just as she is.
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Feature image by Marcus Ingram/Getty Images