Saweetie Reflects On The Early Days Of Her Career After Facing Difficulties: ‘I Miss College Saweetie’
As the saying goes, “the grass isn’t always greener,” which is something Saweetie is finding out now as she continues to reach new heights in her career. The Bay Area rapper recently announced her partnership with Champion as a global cultural consultant and she is nominated for her first Grammy for her hit song “Best Friend” featuring Doja Cat.
But she wants fans to know that the life of an entertainer is not as glamorous as everyone thinks. Saweetie talked openly about challenges she’s faced and more on the PEOPLE Every Day podcast. “I just feel like as artists, you know, we have it tough. I feel like we have all the spotlight on us and people think that it's glamorous when in all actuality there are a lot of difficult things that happen behind the scenes,” she said.
She continued, “Hopefully you have a great team. Hopefully, the creatives that you're working with, aren't overcharging you ... It's like everyone who's around: You have to pay for this. You have to pay [for that] …”
It appears that the Grammy-nominated artist does have a great team behind her. She’s been able to secure several brand deals from MAC to Crocs and even hosted a show on Netflix. And she arguably has some of the best content on social media, but even with all the creative projects she has been a part of, she admitted that it doesn’t feel as authentic as it did when she was first trying her hand at a rap career.
“I miss college Saweetie, and me meeting other creatives,” she said. “I just wanted to make something else. Now everyone wants to charge for every second and it kind of just takes the art out of it.”
Reflecting on college Saweetie, she shared advice that she would give her knowing what she knows now.
“Take your time. And don't [jump] at the first opportunity," she said. “I felt like those tough lessons definitely made me a wiser woman, but I think I would've just taken my time ... Who [you] surround yourself really, really affects the trajectory of your career.”
As of late, Saweetie has been vocal about her struggles with mental health and being overworked. In December, she cut off all of her hair as a way to “start fresh” and she even began meditating and praising its positive effects. In a February 2022 interview with Power 106, she explained, "I wanted to start over and I did research about hair and hair holds a lot of energy. And I really wanted to just feel new and fresh with this new music. I won’t say new me. But elevated me. I really just wanted to start over again."
Here are other things the rapper has said about mental health and how she is navigating it all.
On Being Overworked and Finding Balance
"It's like I live, sleep, eat and breathe music and business. My team is really small, so I have to take on responsibilities that eventually somebody else will, but because my team is small, I have to help them out."
"It's just trying to find balance right now. I have no balance. Everything is just work, work, work and I don't have an outlet. I don't have a therapist. I don't hang out with any of my friends because I work so much, so it's just trying to thug it out into until the New Year."
"Balance needs to happen. I feel like I'm being run down to the ground right now and my body doesn't feel good. I've had mental breakdowns and it's just really stressful, but it's nice to be acknowledged because it lets me know that my hard work isn't going unnoticed," she said via PEOPLE.
On Meditating
"I'm just saying the peace you get, the clarity you get, it's really important for everyone to meditate. And I think the reason why I was so discouraged at first, I--- because I'm thinking that you have to be in a cream[-colored] room, like yoga-ish. But I meditate everywhere," she said via PEOPLE.
On What Self-Love Looks Like to Her
“Self-love is being conscious of self and making sure that you’re taking care of yourself. It’s almost as if it’s a high maintenance requirement to take care of yourself spiritually, physically, mentally. It’s about being conscious of all of the things that you intake, think and say. When you love yourself, you don’t want to pollute your mind, body, soul, and spirit and you protect yourself from the things that pollute the important things," she said via LADYGUNN.
On Her Definition of the "Elevated Saweetie"
“She meditates, she’s centered, she has clarity, she knows what she wants, she puts her foot down. I feel like before I discovered meditation, everything was, ‘Yes yes yes, I’ll do it.’
"No matter how bad my body felt, if the opportunity was great, I just said yes and I kept running down my mental, my spiritual, my physical. But how am I gonna continue to work if I’m depleted?" she continued via Power 106.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
