Could you imagine living in a shared environment for the sake of saving money?
Would you be able to live in a hostel?
There are pros and cons to sharing such close quarters, but the reward of saving more of your paycheck might be worth the sacrifice if only for just a small period of time. I currently have taken the bullet as a last survival resort, and have found that there are most certainly downsides to living the "hostel life," but on the flip side, the "carefree" millennial Black girl warrior in me is making it work!
The PROS
You Save Money in Rent and Utilities:
Living as a long term hostel tenant will save you coins! With real estate prices soaring through the roof in most major gentrified cities in the country, paying significantly less a month for a bed in a shared dormitory could be worth it! You get to save on utilities, as most hostels include basic amenities, including WIFI. Not even gonna lie - not receiving three bill statements from Con-ed, Optimum, and National Grid a month has been liberating!
Photo by Charles Lyles @lifebylyles
You Meet all Kinds of New People:
When you live in a hostel, you get an opportunity to meet people from all over the world. Folks have fascinating stories and life experiences that are fun to learn about. Fostering new connections with people in a hostel has been a highlight of my experience thus far. You would be surprised how many similar life experiences bring people together in a hostel. The solidarity and potential for life-long friendships you gain with people in the same situation as you is very rewarding!
You Really Learn How to Be Considerate of Others:
When living in such close quarters, there are a lot of liberties that you would normally take in your own space that you would not be able to do in a communal environment. Hostel life will teach you quickly to be mindful of any behaviors and patterns that would cross the boundaries of your other roommates. There is humility in these lessons that can be taken with you wherever you go.
You Learn How to Adapt to Foreign Environments:
Living a totally different lifestyle to what you are used to is no small feat. Living in a communal environment catalyzes your natural Instincts of adapting to your surroundings. It gives you certain skills that you would have never attained so quickly otherwise. You would be surprised with what you are able to teach yourself when it comes to organization, time management, and eliminating excess.
Photo by Charles Lyles @lifebylyles
You Find Inspiration in Change and Humility:
No matter what your reasoning is for living in a hostel, I doubt that this life would be anyone's first choice. Humbling yourself to be able to downsize in this extreme way gives you a feeling of pride and respect for the extent you would go to better yourself in the long run. It teaches you gratitude for all that you do have. In my case, I have been able to take this initially unwanted situation and be inspired to write a TV pilot entitled, "Finding Fontaine: Hollywood Hostel," that I will one day pitch to Netflix. To me, this is the definition of "When life gives you Lemons, you make Lemonade."
Freedom to Travel:
If you can live in a hostel in one part of the world, you can live in one in another. Living in downsized communal housing allows you to be able to freely travel from place to place on a budget. Imagine living in a hostel in Thailand or Cairo for only $10 a night in a place where our currency is worth significantly more? You could explore different cultures and expand your horizons whilst you save your money investing in yourself.
Photo by Charles Lyles @lifebylyles
The CONS
What Privacy?!:
When sharing a room with 3 to 10 bunk beds, you can kiss your privacy goodbye! People are constantly coming and going, alone time in the room is often very rare. If you ever had a bad day, and all you want to do is come home and relax in your bed alone, you will be constantly reminded that you are living in a room with 5 other strangers. I often have to find a spot that is quiet to do tarot readings for client and the constant presence of other people is problematic! If someone is a big snorer, heavy walker, or loud talker, you better grab some ear plugs!
Photo by Charles Lyles @lifebylyles
Co-ed Living:
Most hostels are co-ed, so expect to be sharing a room with the opposite sex. This means being subject to always having to be clothed and mindful that the big burly straight dude sleeping across from you might be checking out your goodies any chance he gets. I got lucky enough to get a smaller 3 bunk bed all-girls room, but others may not always be as lucky! If you're someone who likes to walk around your house butt ass naked, or are self-conscious around the opposite sex, this is something you'll have to get used to.
Photo by Charles Lyles @lifebylyles
No Hanky Panky:
While living in a hostel, there is little chance for you to "get it in." You most likely wouldn't want to obviously, but there are times, naturally, when you will wish you had privacy for intimacy... even if it is with yourself. Your best bet is to take a temporary vow of celibacy, or find somewhere else to endulge in sexy time.
You Run on Hostel Time:
Every hostel has their own quiet hours, cleaning hours, and communal space hours. If you like to stay up late and watch Netflix, chances are there are people trying to sleep next to you. Don't get caught sleeping either when the kitchen closes…or you might find yourself taking a late night walk to the nearest 7-11. Are you a late sleeper? There are some long-term residents or tourists who will get up at the crack of dawn for work or to prepare for their day. If you are a light sleeper, prepare to be woken up.
Annoying Hostel Mates:
Living in a hostel comes with one, or two, bad apples! Let's just face it, there is bound to be an altercation at one point or another with someone you just can't stand, even if you tried. Every hostel has that one or two energy vampires that you learn to stand clear of by day two! Also, depending on where you stay, the hostel could be reminiscent of an episode of "Big Brother," or "The Bad Girl's Club" and equally as annoying! To combat this, stay to yourself!
Photo by Charles Lyles @lifebylyles
Cleanliness:
Not every hostel will be the same when it comes to cleanliness. Depending on the price point of your stay, cleaning could be an ongoing problem. There are so many people using the common areas that it might be difficult for the hostel hosts to keep up with the cleaning in a timely fashion on top of not everyone having the same level of cleaning needs. If you are a germaphobe, this will be the hardest part of living in a hostel for you.
Bed Bugs:
For me, this is worse than any con on this list. Living in a hostel is definitely risking being subject to bedbugs. There are so many people coming and going who are backpackers traveling from place to place. You will never know if someone is carrying a little sneaky bed bug in their luggage. It is often hard to prove that you've been bitten, unless you find an actual bed bug. Unfortunately, this potential risk comes with the territory. Make sure you read all the reviews to see if anyone has reported bed bugs. Also monitor and inquire about pest control.
Even though the cons outweigh the pros, I still have made the "hostel life" work for me. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and everything happens for you - not to you.
My best advice for someone looking to live the hostel life is to meditate often, cleanse and ground your energy, and get out as much as you can. I know that this is only temporary, and a new dawn for me will soon come. It's not perfect, but it's a roof over my head…
So with all that being said, could you live in a hostel?
Photo by Charles Lyles @lifebylyles
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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That’s why, over the years, I’ve been intentional about figuring out ways to get more agua into my body without feeling like it’s a chore or something to dread. And now, I want to pass some of those hacks on to you, just in case you happen to totally relate to where I am coming from.
If something that you want to do more of right through here is get extra H2O into your system, here are 10 tips that can absolutely help to make that possible.
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1. Invest in a Fun Water Bottle
There’s a far greater chance that you are going to drink water if you have a water bottle around you. So, cop yourself a cute one — one that will help you to stay motivated. A tumbler that I purchased some time back, just because I thought it was cute as hell, simply says, “Make Better Coochie Decisions” (amen?-LOL). Honestly, that doesn’t just have to apply to sex but how you treat your vagina overall — and that includes making sure that “she” has all of the fluids that she needs.
2. Try Some Sparkling Water or Mineral Water
At this point, I should take stock in Waterloo. It currently is my favorite kind of sparkling water and it has definitely made getting more water into my system easier to do. That’s because I will add some limes to it or a bit of fruit juice to it and that makes drinking water less “meh” for me. Another type of water that has bubbles in it is sparkling mineral water; it can also be beneficial since it contains magnesium, potassium and calcium.
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3. Go Halfsies with Your Other Drinks of Choice
Speaking of making some all-natural soda (which is basically what happens when you add juice to sparkling water or sparkling mineral water), you can find yourself drinking more water while consuming less calories if you fill up your glass with half of your favorite fruit juice and half of some sparkling water. More times than not, the juice doesn’t even taste watered down. Try it before you doubt me.
4. Collect Some Infused Water Recipes
I’m forever gonna be a fan of infused water; that’s because it’s water that has fresh fruits and/or veggies in them — and it doesn’t get any healthier than that. Plus, infused water tends to take on the taste of whatever fruits or vegetables that you put into the water (if you let the stuff soak for a couple of hours), so that the water doesn’t taste so boring and bland. Wanna try a few recipes? You can check out some here and here.
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5. Make Slushies Instead of Smoothies
Are you someone who enjoys consuming smoothies? Well, if you want to get more water into your system, how about going with a slushie instead? Although it is true that some smoothies have water as a base, the most bomb ones use milk (or a milk alternative) or yogurt. Slushies, on the other hand, typically go with crushed ice (which is frozen water) instead. That said, some (pardon the pun) cool slushy recipes can be found here, here and here.
6. Use Water As Your “Drink Chaser”
Another great thing about water is it can help to keep you from overeating; it does that by causing you to feel full if you drink it while you are eating. And speaking of calorie-counting, if you don’t want to give up your favorite drink at mealtime, one way to keep from downing 2-3 glasses of it at a time is to use water as your “chaser.” What I mean by that is, after enjoying a glass of your favorite beverage, “chase it down” with a glass of water. That should satisfy your want for what you want without overdoing it.
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7. Eat Foods That Are High in Water Content
Another way to get more water into your body is to eat foods that have a ton of water in them. Some that top the list include lettuce (96 percent); cucumber (95 percent); zucchini (95 percent); celery (95 percent); strawberries (91 percent); cantaloupe (90 percent), and peaches (89 percent).
8. Have a Ball with Your Ice Cubes
Ice cubes are frozen water, right? That’s why most of us prefer to enjoy our drinks before the ice cubes melt because melted cubes water down whatever it is that we are consuming. And so, for this very reason, add more ice cubes to your drinks — and have fun making them. You can add juice, fruit and/or mint leaves while making your cubes. That way, they are aesthetically-pleasing; plus, they will also add more flavor to your water once the ice cubes actually melt.
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9. Add Some Non-Alcohol Cordial to Your Water
If you’re fine with just having a tad of taste in your water, why not add a bit of cordial to it? Cordial is simply a type of tonic, syrup or sweetener (that can contain alcohol or not) that can help to make your water more…interesting. Some alcohol-based cordials can be found here. Some non-alcoholic recipes are located here.
10. Technically, Herbal Tea Counts
Tea is always gonna be my thing. That’s why I’ve penned articles on it for the site like “10 Different Ways Herbal Teas Can Fit Into Your Beauty Regimen”, “10 'Uncommon' Teas You Should Add To Your Stash (& Why)” and “I've Got 10 Teas That Will Help You To Age (Even More) Gracefully” And y’all, if you want to get a lot more water into your system yet a tall glass of water only isn’t your — pardon the pun — cup of tea, make some iced herbal tea instead.
It’s basically water with some herbs tossed in and, if you add some honey or raw organic coconut palm sugar to it, it will be a really sweet treat that will still be extremely hydrating (and very healthy) for you.
Water that is a bit more exciting for you…now. LOL.
Drink up!
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