And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on...
Every Superman needs a Superwoman, and for La La Anthony, she has become a guardian angel in one very special young man's life.
For those of you who have been keeping up with La La's social media, the media personality has been campaigning for the support and awareness of young Anthony "Superman" Skipper, who has been suffering from an anoxic brain injury after having a seizure in the bathtub and nearly drowning to death in 2015. Although the Sunrise, Florida native was rescued by his younger brother Willie, by the time Anthony was resuscitated, the damage to his brain had already been done.
"It was just sad because I've seen so many pictures of him [before his accident] doing back flips and having fun, but he was born premature and he suffered from seizures. He hadn't had a seizure in two years, but unfortunately the first seizure he had in two years, it was when he was in the bathtub, so he went under the water. His eight year-old brother, who is very close with [my son] Kiyan now, really pulled him out of the tub and saved his life.About the time they pulled him out the tub and actually got a pulse on him, his brain was without oxygen for over 15 minutes, and he was in the semi-vegetative state. He's the oldest one."
Superman's life caught the attention of La La when family and friends of the young boy had campaigned in her comments in hopes of bringing awareness to her about his condition. Before his accident, Anthony had already endured more than a few medical setbacks and procedures. By the age of one, the preemie baby who was born 1 lb, 4 oz, had already endured four different types of corrective surgeries. Since his accident last year, the 12-year-old has had to learn all basic life functions all over again.
La La Helping Superman Anthony to Celebrate his 11th Birthday in 2016.
La La's Son Kiyah Posing with Superman Anthony at his 11th Birthday Party
Anthony is all tired after a whole day of partying with his family and friends
Superman Anthony at 10, before and after his accident
Superman is currently on a ventilator and oxygen tank to assist with breathing. Anthony attempted to breathe on his own at one point and was doing well, until the day his lungs filled with fluid and collapsed. Now, he has to get a trach to help him swallow his foods. His mother has had to quit her job in order to assist with Anthony's round the clock care, as well as be a mom to her three other children.
Superman Anthony and his baby sister "Pooh" last year
Perhaps it was the shared name between La La Anthony and "Superman Anthony," or God Himself, but either way, La La went from making a donation to completely turning around Anthony and his family's way of living:
"This kid has just changed my life. I found his story on Instagram, which is really weird because I see a lot of stuff on Instagram. But for some reason, I really took to his story. And at first, I just did a donation from me and Melo (Carmelo Anthony). And then I found out that he was a fan of Melo's. And as I got more into the story, I became connected with the family and talked to his mom and just wanted to know more about it.
"What we initially did at first was, I found out he was doing a little physical therapy at home, but he wasn't really getting the care he needed [since] certain insurances don't provide certain things. So what we did was we transferred all his doctors now to Miami Children's Hospital, someone from D.Wade's team helped us to make that transition. So now we have all the best doctors trying to at least give him a shot at trying to get better."
But La La didn't stop there; she'd go on to willingly expense most of Anthony's needs, while also using some of her celebrity connections to further assist in Superman's needs:
Superman Anthony and his younger siblings posing by his new wheelchair accessible van!
"I reached out to Kia (Motors Corporation) because I knew Lebron had his deal with Kia, and they were so kind enough to, with no questions asked, to donate a van. So his family got the van this week so he could get to his appointments. Before then, when [his mom] would have to take him places, she would have to go through the insurance two weeks ahead of time and she'd spend more time than none just trying to get a ride. She would be outside and the van would never come pick him up and he'd never be able to get to his appointments and where he'd need to go. So her having a van was really key.
I've gotten so close to his family and with him. I flew down for his birthday [this weekend]. I've never been this connected to one person before because we help a lot of people, but this was just something so different. He has changed my life. It's really an unexplainable thing. I explain it by saying, 'It's God' because I found this person on Instagram and I see stuff like this on Instagram all the time, you know what I mean? But I'm just really so, so connected."
Since going viral, Superman Anthony's story has also inspired others, including La La's husband and NBA Knicks' star, Carmelo Anthony, who has Instagrammed several photos of Superman, with his most recent one thanking the young boy for being his "hero."
Other celebrities who have been impacted by Superman's triumphant battle includes rappers Fetty Wap and Flo-Rida, both of whom La La admits were Superman's favorite rappers before his accident:
"Some of the most unexpected people have reached out to help! I don't even know [rapper] Flo-Rida like that, we actually have a relationship now because of what he did. But when I tell you this man reached out to me and drove 45 minutes, didn't sleep, went to the hospital and was there all day, took pictures, brought $1000 gift cards from Toys R Us, and he had bought custom t-shirts for the whole family that said 'Superman Anthony' with his face on it. Who does that? It was just amazing. The kind of people that really stepped up to the plate. It's just amazing."
[Tweet ""You don't have to look for help. When people want to help, they'll find you." -@Lala"]
Similar to Fetty, Superman Anthony was born with an eye defect as well. Called "Retinopathy of Prematurity," ROP is a disease that occurs in many premature babies and causes abnormal blood vessels to grow in the retina. The growth can cause detachment from the back of the eye and, needless to say, Anthony suffered blindness in one eye and wears a prosthetic one in place of it.
"When Fetty Wap heard him, I told Fetty that he was Superman's favorite artist before the incident. He sent a nice video. I found that, when people find it in their hearts [to give], they'll find you. You don't have to hound people or reach out to them or do that. People will find you and want to help, which has been amazing."
La La also explained to those asking why she feels the need to go so hard for Anthony's ongoing care, despite having already raised a good chunk of change for his family. She addressed people's constant questioning of celebrities who ask for assistance in situations like these:
"It's just funny sometimes because when you're a celebrity and when you ask people for donations or try to raise money, they're like 'Oh, why can't you [pay for it?]' And they don't realize how much money it takes. I've contributed a lot out of my own pocket for this kid. Transportation to get to his appointments, his doctors switched, his wheelchair rushed to be made, getting the wheelchair lift to be put in the van. I don't care about a checklist, but when you ask people to donate, their reaction is, 'Why can't you?' It takes a village.Anthony needs 24-hour care, so his mom had to give up her job, she's with him all the time and gets everything for him because the nurses at times don't even show up. So she has to watch him all through the night and not sleep at all, so she had to give up her job. So the donations are really to help keep all of that going. And she has three other kids. But man, people have been so generous with their help over the last few weeks and it's been amazing."Anthony Undergoing Daily Physical Therapy
Although grateful to have been able to learn more about Anthony and his condition, La La did admit that her time with him has helped her empathize with other people in similar situations, whose stories are lesser known:
"It is sad to me that he was basically sent home from the hospital to kind of just die. But when you start making calls on behalf of me and Melo and down in Miami, D.Wade's assistant making calls to help us out, now all of a sudden everybody moves differently. It's just sad for all the families who don't have insurance, or people that are calling around and pushing for them.
[Tweet ""It's sad to me. He was basically sent home to just die." - @Lala on #SupermanAnthony"]
"I saw today, someone donated, I don't know who it was, $5000 on his page, which was just amazing. Even $5, 10 people donate $5, that stuff adds up. It just starts adding up."
So what's next for the two new best friends?
Well, you can expect this to be a friendship of a lifetime for La, who admits that she's already made plans to see #TeamSuperman again. This time, she is sending all of his siblings, including baby brother Willie who originally rescued the kid hero, to New York City!
"My plan is, I'm going to go there often. Actually, Kiyan's birthday is actually coming up, and I'm going to bring his two brothers up to New York for his birthday. They need love and attention and they need to get out the house a little bit. You know, it must be hard to see your brother like that everyday."
Phenomenal! A major salute to La La and those helping out others in similar situations. If you want to donate to Superman Anthony and his family, you can go to his GoFundMe page here!
Also find out more about Superman Anthony by visiting his Instagram page.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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