Money Talksis an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
When Jillian Smith turned 30 years old, she did what many of us do – started wondering about what the next chapter of her life would be like. She was spending her days working in the corporate world and her evenings planning events for friends and family. And by most standards, doing pretty well. But still, she yearned for more; she desired to start her own business. So, after a lot of hard work and thought, she launched OneTouch Events– all by herself.
Fast forward to today, she’s a newlywed, known for her “pretty conferences,” and works with a group of trusted contractors. Her clients range from thought leaders to speakers, business coaches, and more. OneTouch also hosts celebrations of love, like weddings, general events, and more. Actually, they just secured their first national brand with the beloved fast food chain, Whataburger, planning and managing the chain's 1000th grand opening during its expansion throughout Georgia.
It all seems so simple, right? But my thoughts on stories like this are always, how? It’s like, okay, that sounds cool, but– how did you keep paying your bills in the beginning? Or friends and family are one thing, but when did you start finding consistent clients? Well, in this conversation with xoNecole, Jillian broke down the importance of investing in yourself, financial literacy, and how having a clear vision for your life helped her tangibly turn her goals into a reality.
Can you share some of the experience you gained from previously working in corporate America? What did you take with you to OneTouch Events?
I previously worked for Accenture, a Fortune 500 consulting firm, and it’s where I learned people and process management, organizational structure, and business methodology. It was very rigorous and fast-paced, and I was often the only Black person or woman in the room.
But I brought all of my experiences to OneTouch. It’s a boutique firm, but we run it like a Fortune 500 company. For example, before I advertised anything, I had all of our systems built. We had two websites and a clear methodology. From my entry-level roles to manager level, I took a lot of those skills with me.
Jillian Smith
Photo by Andre Brown
Congrats on the current success of the business, but can you talk to me about the financial struggles you endured starting the process? Let’s take it from the top.
I experienced all the things that no one tells you about running a business. First, I created it while still working at Home Depot corporate. When I made that first leap, I didn’t understand cash flow. I just didn’t know what it took to continue running my business, paying bills, and how to structure contracts and invoices. My first financial blow was in that first couple of years. I mean, I had to actually use my 401k to pay bills.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me – I paid for a business coach. They taught me how to structure contracts, payments, and etc. There's a lot of free knowledge online, but sometimes those avenues don’t actually teach practicality and what you’ll need to work through. I knew the main elements because of my knowledge base, but I still needed to be educated by someone who understood the industry.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me.
What is the best and worst business advice you’ve ever received?
The worst is that you should pay attention to your competition. The reason I say that is because I work better with blinders on. I believe when you pay attention to others, you start to pigeonhole yourself. Our competition is us.
The best piece of advice is to take time to be grateful. Gratefulness has been lost in business and life. Success, business, and life isn’t promised. There are so many people that pour into us and we just have to be grateful for them.
Do you have any money mantras you practice or hold to?
On the productivity side, I’d have to say my “Money Mornings,” which is all about being first. If we’re the first to respond, the first on the books, the first consultation – usually we’ll be there first to the table. Don’t be afraid to start early.
When it comes to affirmations, I’m more biblically based, so for everything, I turn to Proverbs 3:5-6, 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.'
Yes, I love that. Earlier, you mentioned a bit on investing; I’d like to dig into that. What does it look like for you, professionally and personally?
I’ve always looked at life transactionally. Because of that, I invested a lot in the business – I always wanted us to have updated technology and practices. I mean, I invested in a brand designer, business manager, and bookkeeper. My website isn’t just pretty, it brings in a strong ROI (return on investment).
But personally, I actively invest in self-care. It’s something we put on the back burner until you start feeling it in your body. High blood pressure, strokes, and heart attacks are real things. The event planning industry is one of the top 5 most stressful fields. It took me a while to understand the importance of self-care. But now I know you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. My gym membership and health is very important.
Would you consider yourself a saver or a spender?
I am a saver. I actually need to spend more on myself. I’m very conservative when it comes to my finances.
I feel like you are in the minority with that answer. Have you always been good with money?
Actually, yes. I can remember being in high school wanting a pager, and my parents told me they weren’t paying for it. I literally got a job and bought my own. So, I’ve kinda always been like that for as long as I can remember, very goal-oriented.
Jillian Smith
Photo by Andre Brown
Do you have any budgeting tips for us then?
Most of us come out of college with a lot of credit card debt. So, the first recommendation is to get comfortable with how you spend and your balances. I had a spreadsheet with each card with line items and percentage rates, and I just started paying the highest down. But I also saved at the same time. If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time.
"If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time."
Out of curiosity, what’s your go-to splurge?
I love a spa. But not like the basic ones. Like, I’m going to the Four Seasons. And also, I don’t really cook a lot, so yes - I’ll eat out. I’m on Zoom like all day, every day, taking meetings, so those are my necessary splurges.
And have you reached your goal? If not, what’s next?
I’m insatiable with my goals, so no – they just keep growing. But a long-term one is to open up my own event facility, that’s in a nice area in the city. I want to be able to compete with some of the top venues in Atlanta.
It’s giving luxury. Finally, can you break down how you define wealth?
I’d define wealth as finance and fulfillment. In finance, it means OneTouch Events can invest in our people, our bills are paid, and we have a surplus. Like for example, last summer, I just gave the team a week off to just decompress for no reason, and we had team outings.
Personally, being wealthy is being comfortable in my skin. Last year I spent so much time with my family because I didn’t feel the need to work 24/7 like I envisioned. Wealth and fulfillment is being able to live a well-rounded life.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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And what that could mean is there is something going on physically instead of mentally or emotionally. For example, it could be an indication that one or more of your sex hormones are a bit “off” and you need to get them back where they need to be.
That’s the purpose and goal of today’s offering. We’re going to explore how five hormones in your system play a direct role in you having a satisfying sex life, then we’re going to touch on some signs that yours may be low and what you can do about them, at home (although if these don’t work, please see your doctor), if that is indeed the case.
Ready to physically feel like having (more) sex? Awesome.
1. Estrogen
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Although estrogen is found in both men and women, there is a lot more of it in women. And since drops in estrogen can lead to things like a lower sex drive as well as experiencing challenges when it comes to having orgasms, it’s important to do as much as you can to keep your estrogen levels where they need to be at all times.
So, what aresome key indications that your estrogen levels are low? If you have super dry skin; your vagina is dry; you’re storing up more belly fat; your periods are irregular; you’re tired a lot; your sleep patterns are erratic, and/or your libido is low.
And what can you do to get your estrogen levels back on track?
Eat foods that are considered to be phytoestrogens. Phytoestrogens are considered to be plant-based sources of estrogen that could help to get your levels up. Those foods include flaxseeds, peaches, berries, sesame seeds, and cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and collards).
Take Vitamin B-Complex. The reason why it’s important to have vitamin B consistently in your system is because it plays a significant role in how your body creates estrogen. So, if you’re not currently taking a B-complex vitamin, this is as good of a time as any.
Look into Black Cohosh. If you’re someone who likes to take supplements, do some research on black cohosh. It has a pretty good reputation when it comes to elevating estrogen levels.
Drink some black tea. Are you a tea lover? If so, it can’t hurt to sip on some black tea. Although research is still ongoing, there are findings that state that some of the properties in black tea will help to elevate estrogen levels.
Live in moderation. Now this might be your “something new” for the day. Were you aware of the fact that estrogen levels actually increase in body fat? In fact,being underweightis what can decrease your estrogen. While we’re here, exercising too much can jack up your estrogen levels as well. Moral to the story with this one: stay at a healthy weight and don’t overdo it on the workout tip. When it comes to keeping your estrogen levels where they need to be, balance is key.
2. Testosterone
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Testosterone is a hormone that stimulates sexual desire in both menand women, although there is significantly more of it in men.The reason why women need it in their system is not only does it increase their libido, but it also helps to give them energy, to stay in a good mood, and it can also help to make conceiving easier.
How can you know that your testosterone levels could use a boost? If you have an irregular cycle, you’re having trouble conceiving a child; you’re low on energy; your hair is thinning; you’re losing muscle tone; you have trouble sleeping, and/or you have no real interest in sex.
If you happen to notice any of these signs, what can you do to get your testosterone levels up?
Exercise. One way to increase your testosterone levels is to exercise; however, as a woman, the key is to do things like resistance training and High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT). Both of those have the reputation for raising testosterone levels; in women, especially.
Consume more zinc. Although it’s been said for years that zinc deficiencies are directly tied to erectile dysfunction in men, there are also studies that say that many women who are postmenopausal are also low in zinc. In both cases, zinc is needed because it helps to keep hormones in balance. So, if you sense that you may be low in testosterone, perhaps take a zinc supplement or eat foods that are high in zinc, like beef, lamb, pumpkin seeds, whole grains, and eggs.
Drink less alcohol. Even though alcohol can make you feel horny for a moment, the reality is if you drink too much of it, it can actually cause your testosterone levels to tank. Bottom line with this one, pace yourself with your cocktails — especially if you already know that your testosterone levels aren’t where they should be.
Go outside. Did you know that there is a correlation between vitamin D deficiencies and pregnancy issues like preeclampsia and a baby’s low birth weight? There are also studies that indicate that when a woman is receiving a daily dose of vitamin D, her testosterone levels tend to remain strong. That said, one way to get vitamin D into your system is to take a supplement or to eat foods that are rich in them. Another is to consume foods that contain vitamin D, like salmon, tuna, and mushrooms. Still another is to spend more time outside. Definitely one of the best ways to get some “D” into you is to be in the presence of the sun. In fact, as an extra bonus, the ultraviolet radiation that comes from the sun can boost the libido of both men and women. The more you know.
Watch your stress. Two things that aren’t the best of friends are testosterone and cortisol (the hormone that creates your natural stress response). This is so much the case that when your cortisol levels are high, that can hinder your system from producing all of the testosterone that it needs. So, you know what that means, right? CHILL. OUT.
3. Progesterone
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Progesterone is what helps to keep your libido regulated. Since it also plays a pivotal role in a woman’s menstrual cycle and how her hormones respond throughout the month, women who are in the latter stages of perimenopause or who are postmenopausal should also keep their progesterone levels up in order to maintain a consistent sex life.
Signs that you need more progesterone? Trouble sleeping. Irregular cycles. Bloating. Erratic moods. Headaches.
Things that can help bring some relief to these issues?
Meditate. From what I’veread and (briefly) researched, cortisol has the ability to block your progesterone receptors, which means that it can decrease them if you are too stressed out. And that is why one way that you can boost your progesterone levels is to meditate.Since meditation can reduce anxiety, lower stress, and help you to sleep better, I’m sure you get how it can work to get your progesterone levels where they need to be.
Take Vitamin C. If you are low in vitamin C, it could impact your progesterone levels in a negative way. That’s becausevitamin C is a nutrient that actually stimulates the production of progesterone. So, if you want to get more of it into your system, take a vitamin C supplement, drink some orange juice, and/or eatvitamin C-enriched foods like cantaloupe, parsley, strawberries, papaya, and chili peppers.
Implement chasteberry tea. An herbal tea that I personally think every woman should have in her possession ischasteberry tea. Not only does it do things like reduce inflammation, bring relief to PMS symptoms, and help to improve infertility, it also helps to balance out your hormones and, yes, increase progesterone levels.
Hang out with friends. When it comes to raising progesterone levels, something that I found to be fascinating is that there are studies that say that when women hang out with each other, that can give their progesterone levels a boost. The methodology is that it reduces stress and anxiety and makes people feel more comfortable, to the point where it helps to balance out that particular hormone. Pretty cool, right?
Get on a sleep schedule. Not getting a consistent amount (preferably 6-8 hours) of rest can definitelythrow your hormones off, including your progesterone levels. That’s a big part of the reason why I once wrote “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand.” Check it out when you get a chance.
4. Oxytocin
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Oxytocin has the reputation for being called the “love hormone.” That’s because it’s a hormone (and neuropeptide, which is a protein-like molecule) that “activates” during physical activities like kissing, cuddling, andsex.
And what are some telling signs that you are low on this particular hormone?You may feel a bit depressed;you may feel more anxious; you may notice that you don’t want to communicate and/or be affectionate with others; you may have less of an interest in sex, and/or it may be harder for you to orgasm.
Are there also things that you can do to increase your oxytocin levels on your own? Yep.
Get into some music. If you’re not in the mood for sex but you want to be, treat yourself to a long shower — and then sing in it. Believe it or not, some studies say thatsinging for 30 minutes can increase your oxytocin because it helps you to feel connected and relaxed (so can listening to music).
Hug someone. There is data all over the place that says that oxytocin is stimulated through the power of touch. That’s a part of the reason why it’s known as the “cuddle hormone.” So, just like you can get an oxytocin boost by kissing or cuddling with your partner, hugging a friend can also take your oxytocin levels up a few notches as well.
Get a massage. Sooo…when’s the last time you got a massage (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? Take this as a sign that today would be a great day to book an appointment. As far as your oxytocin levels go, it’s another way that touch can come into effect while reducing stress and inflammation. And don’t get me started on where your oxytocin levels will go if your partner starts rubbing on some of your pressure points. Feel me?
Spend quality time with your bae. Speaking of partners, there are studies that also say that oxytocin levels are high when new relationships start. A part of the reason why is that there is so much intentional quality time that’s being spent, which is also good for your oxytocin levels. So, if it’s been a minute since the two of you have been on a date, plan one. Check out “10 Cheap Date Ideas For Couples On A Budget,” “15 Date Ideas Based On Your Love Language,” “10 Romantic Dates You Can Go On (In Your Own Home)” and “Dinner & A Movie Is So…“Meh.” Here Are Some Creative Takes On V-Day Dates.” for some inspiration.
Have sex. As far as physical intimacy goes, it doesn’t get any closer than sex — and here’s the thing: the more orgasms you have, the more oxytocin your body is able to produce. So, if you want more oxytocin and you’re not having (more) sex (and orgasms), that’s actually working against you… especially as far as this particular hormone goes.
5. Dopamine
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Dopamine is a hormone and a neurotransmitter that plays a role in sexual desire and pleasure.For men, it can help them to achieve and maintain an erection;for women, it can help them to orgasm (more easily).
Some indications that you may need more dopamine in your system are if you find yourself lacking drive and motivation, you struggle with concentrating, you’re moody, sleep is a struggle for you, and/or you don’t find things that you used to enjoy being very fun (including sex).
Luckily, there are things that you can even do to level out your dopamine:
Consume more protein. There is an amino acid called tyrosine that helps your body to process dopamine. That’s why it’s a good idea to make sure that protein is a part of your diet. Although you can get it from meat, there are other foods that are packed with protein as well. “Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.” has a few ideas for you to consider.
Eat less saturated fat. Speaking of your diet, it’s also wise to eat less saturated fat. That’s because there are studies that say that too much of that kind of fat in your system can mess with how your brain processes dopamine. For the record, saturated fats include dairy, fried foods, and coconut oil.
Maintain a healthy gut. It has been stated that more than 50 percent of the dopamine that’s in your body is synthesized in your gut. This means that you need to be hypervigilant in making sure that your gut remains as healthy as possible. Check out “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” for tips on how to do just that.
Take a probiotic. Speaking of maintaining a healthy gut, it’s going to be so much easier for you to do it if you take a probiotic. Plus, probiotics are known for producing the kind of “good bacteria” that makes it easy for your gut to release dopamine.
Try some oregano oil. A supplement that is full of antioxidants and may possibly boost dopamine in your body is oregano oil. Since it also helps to keep your gut healthy — hey, why not give it a shot?
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As you can see, there are so many factors that go into having a happy, healthy, and fulfilling sex life. Now that you know more about what to do for your sex-related hormones, hopefully, you can get more of what you’re looking for in your sexual experiences.
Amen? I’m saying, sis.
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