

Confessions: I Am A Plus-Size Webcam Girl
The phrase, "Sometimes you have to do what you have to do," get's thrown around. A lot. But when you're stuck in a financial rut, and your choices for getting extra cash is limited, the same phrase takes on new meaning, and goes from "thrown around" to "real talk."
The truth in the "do what you have to do" phrase became real to me three years ago when my unemployment was set to run out. I had searched high and low for a job, and had no luck. I had just enough money left to pay one more month of rent, and a bit of groceries before imminent doom set in.
After running into one closed door after the next, I decided to get creative, and so I Googled "at home jobs." During my very frantic job search, I ran into a webcam modeling advertisement. I paid it no mind at first because there was one problem:
I am fat.
I never thought in a million years that someone would want to pay-per-minute to see me do things to my naughty bits, but curiosity really got the best of me. Not to mention that my bills had to get paid. I can't walk in heels to save my life so stripping was out. After signing up to be a web chat host, I shrugged it off for a few days. I mean who would be interested in me of all people?! Another Google search showed me that there were other plus sized women cam girls. I was already aware of plus sized women in the adult [film] world, just not with webcam. I also learned that there is a huge market for plus sized women doing webcam videos. It's a really diverse industry. I guess you can say I found the tiniest glimmer of hope in a job that kind of intimidated me.
To get my self ready for my first day on the job, I spent what little money I had on a new webcam. In my mind, it was due or die time. The next few days I got dolled up, but I couldn't bring myself to actually take the webcam out of the box and hook it up to my laptop. It hit me at that moment that I was scared.
But I was determined to keep a roof over my head.
The following night, after I dolled myself up again, I logged on to start my first shift as a cam girl. As soon as the site told me I was streaming LIVE, I wrapped my Hello Kitty snuggie around my head and body. I freaked out when I came to the realization that people can actually see me all over the world. Even my neighbor. Mom. Past employer.
As I sat like a deer in headlights someone logged into my chatroom, and asked me what was I doing.... That was a great question because frankly I was wondering the same exact thing. My first shift was 12-hours long. I made a whopping $37. I felt over joyed because well, those $37 were spent on me.
I was too broke to buy toys or lube for my cam shows so I had to make do with what I had. So on my second night, I defrosted my cucumber (you read it right). Looking back I remember the cucumber would defrost and there would be juice all over the place. After each shift I threw it back in the freezer. After about two weeks, it was done for.
It didn't matter anyway, because at that point, I was able to afford toys. I also met someone who would become a very close friend. He taught me how the website worked, what to say or do, and how each feature worked. I am thankful for him, because I probably wouldn't have been able to manage this job on my own those first few nights.
As each shift passed I started slowly growing my fan base, and my paychecks grew a little more as time went on. On my best night ever, I made just under $800 dollars. I made $11 dollars on my slowest night. I've also made $300 in an hour, just like I've made $0 in an hour. It comes with the territory and the nature of the business. I am by no means wealthy or debt free, but I can honestly say I've transformed myself into a confident woman who no longer walks into a room with her head down.
But somehow, my "lucky streak" started to fade away when I had to face one of the biggest hurdles that comes with being a webcam girl - telling my mom what I did for a living. In fact, I did the first two and a half years as a webcam model in secrecy because I did not want to worry my mother, and she already had a ton on her plate. I eventually told mom about my job after I had several setbacks around Christmas 2015. Two of them was the fact that my laptop and Internet were out of commision for an entire week, which meant no webcam and no money being made. I also had no idea how I was going to pay my rent. So I prayed that if a blessing came my way, that I would lead a more honest life. I guess you can say the blessing came in the form of a $700 credit card offer.
Just after I praised the heavens above I got a text from my mom. Somewhere in our text exchange, she asked me, "So what do you do for work? How do you make your money?"
I knew at that point, it was time for me to come clean. After a really long heart-to-heart, she ended the long text conversation with "go make that money honey."
I swear a thousand pounds was lifted off my shoulders. To know that my mom supported me meant the absolute world to me. Even today we joke about my job, and she'll ask me how work went. Everything is different now, even the energy I feel when working. I think because my mom was a single parent of four kids, she can genuinely understand how hard it can be sometimes.
The rough part of this job includes me not having a person who wants to know my spirit instead of my body. Most men claim they would date a cam girl, but when it comes down to it, they can't handle knowing that their girlfriend is off somewhere taking her clothes off for a living. I honestly can't blame a man for not being ok with dating a cam girl. Deep down, I wish men were more accepting of what we do, because the majority of us never meet our customers in person. But I crave human interaction, and the touch of a man's hands. My interaction with people is mostly on social media, where I'm networking, talking with with fans, or performing on webcam. I can tell you that it has been two years since I have hugged a man.
Perhaps being a webcam model is the reason why I'm somewhat afraid to date. A majority of men who I've allowed into my space ended up trying to use me for "freebies" rather than trying to get to know me.
I don't plan on doing this forever; however, it's how I survive right now. It's how I keep clothes on my back and food in the fridge. Plus, I haven't quite figured out what I want to be when I grow up yet. And I may never figure it out. But one thing I refuse to do is feel less than or hard on myself because I've chosen a non-traditional career path for the time being.
I'm still learning a lot about myself, and my hope is to teach women like me that it's OK to not fit society's standard of what beauty is as long as you are kind to yourself as well as others.
You can catch up with me on Twitter and Instagram @christyoncam.
- OnlyFans, Cam Girls, Coronavirus and Sex Online Now - The New ... ›
- Here's How Online Cam Girls Make Big Money, From the Privacy of ... ›
- 8 Virtual Sex Tips From a Former Cam Girl | SELF ›
- 'Euphoria' Star on That Webcam Scene, Overcoming Fat-Shaming ... ›
- Women of Color, in Solidarity — Opinion | There's a big part of rural ... ›
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Is Once Ever Enough To See Beyoncé's "Renaissance World Tour?"
Many have wondered if one time is ever enough to see Queen Bey. Some argue yes. However, many of us on the opposite end of the spectrum, including myself, would disagree. Beyoncé's "Renaissance World Tour" is a universal yet varying experience for everyone who attends. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, the concert is "transcendent." For millennials, we have over two decades of her catalog that has served as the soundtrack for many of our lives and painted a personal portrait of our most coveted thoughts. Her music provides mental clarity and self-expression by serving as a universal language that has united fans from all walks of life through community, fashion, self-acceptance, and healing.
With a multi-layered approach to her artistry, just as she did on that winter day in December 2013 with the infamous digital drop of her self-titled album, she changed the game again on February 1, 2023, when she announced her world tour in support of Renaissance, her seventh studio album. Her cultural impact set the internet ablaze, with everyone trying to gather their coins, barter for presale codes, and figure out which cities to attend. The group chats were lit, and the Beyhive was stressed trying to get their hands on tickets.
Beyoncé's Renaissance tour stop in L.A.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
Unfortunately, I was in that number. As the concert dates passed by and the one in my city drawing near all roads led to disappointment. With time ticking on the day of the Miami show and less than two hours to spare, my wallet bit the bullet, and I purchased three last-minute tickets, costing roughly $700.00 a piece (including fees) for me, my 9-year-old and 16-year-old nieces in Section 121 at the Hard Rock Stadium. With 10 minutes before showtime, we eagerly awaited the Queen to take the stage. A sea of metallic fringes, cowboy hats, disco fans, and western boots were in full effect and filled the entire stadium.
Dontaira with her nieces at Beyoncé's Renaissance tour stop in Miami.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
As the lights dimmed, a flood of emotions instantly overtook my body. It continued with each note she belted, along with nearly 50,000 roaring fans. The reverberating sound of the music through the stadium transported me from one era of my life to the next. As a teen girl in her bedroom daydreaming about her first love to blossoming into an unapologetic Black woman who is still on a road of self-discovery while learning to lean into the power anthem of "You won't break my soul." For over two hours, and with each set, I felt joy, love, peace, and a commanderie with fellow concertgoers. It was therapeutic as I danced like no one was watching and sang as if I were alone in my bathroom mirror.
There were no bars held, and I realized at that moment, "Nobody can judge me but me." The "Renaissance World Tour" proved to be so vast, and my Black girl joy was re-invigorated. It was magnetic and liberating, and I had to attend again, but this time, I needed to be up close and personal; I needed to be on the floor. In the days that passed, I watched more social media clips in different cities and asked myself if I would really splurge again to attend another Renaissance show.
Beyoncé's Renaissance tour stop in Miami.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
After all, this would be my thirteenth time (maybe more because I lost count) seeing Beyoncé live, whether she was on tour with Destiny's Child, as a solo artist, or doing a live appearance. I contemplated for a while, but it worked itself out on its own. I was gifted two tickets and the next thing I knew, I was off to LA to attend another Renaissance show with floor seats at SoFi Stadium during Beyonce's 42nd birthday weekend! This time, things were different: no kids were allowed. It was adults only this go round.
Although the energy at the Miami and Los Angeles shows was empowering, infectious, and a celebration of life, happiness, and identity, they each provided their own unique experience. However, both concerts were what I needed for my well-being, leaving me with sore feet from dancing the night away, on vocal rest for the next few days from screaming at the top of my lungs, and on an indefinite high on life.
My introduction and love for Beyoncé began in 1996, while my older sister lived in Houston, TX, right before Bey hit the scene in 1998 with "No, No, No" as a budding R&B member. Her evolution twenty-seven years later as an international superstar and into womanhood has been an incredible journey to witness. As Mrs. Carter reminds each of us in the audience every night before the curtain closes, "I want you to remember this moment, where you're standing, who you came with, and take it with you. I hope you feel inspired."
I truly felt inspired, so thank you, Queen Bey. You awakened my inner child, and I will definitely remember these moments and take them with me.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Parkwood