6 Books To Read When Discovering Your Purpose
What are we here for? During the hustle and bustle of life, it's so easy to forget that we're all here for a reason. I know for me, the word "purpose" can get so intimidating that it creates pressure to discover what ours actually is, instead of realizing that we could very well be doing it already.
It's almost like clockwork to find ourselves comparing our lives and destinies to others in hopes of trying to pinpoint what we're meant to do. If you're on the path to self-discovery, or on the search for your purpose, these books could help you put the pieces together.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
'The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?' by Rick Warren
This is a classic and will always be an oldie but goodie. It goes beyond providing you with suggestions of what your purpose could be and encourages you to answer thought-provoking questions to make sure that you're living life driven by your purpose and not something, or someone, else. The bonus is that it has 40 chapters, one for each day, so you don't get overwhelmed or stagnant.
'Be Unapologetically You: A Self Love Guide for Women of Color' by Adeline Bird
Sis did something special with this one. It can be so easy for us to apologize for being amazing, strong and bold, and to just wish that we were something or someone else. I love this book because it pushes us to be our best selves, and to do it unapologetically. It inspires readers to dismiss the excuses and start making moves toward what we really want out of life. And it all starts with self-love. If you're on that journey, this is a must-read.
‘Crushing’ by T.D. Jakes
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com
Grab a tissue and get ready to discover what you were created for. T.D. Jakes shows us in such a compelling way how we can use life's biggest disappointments, setbacks and unexpected curveballs to our advantage. Through the pruning process of letting our disadvantages make us better, we have the potential to unearth not just the purpose of things that could have knocked us out, but the reason for our life in general.
'Girl, Wash Your Face' by Rachel Hollis
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com
It's no secret there can be a ton of mess and detours on this path of self-discovery and uncovering our purpose. This book by Rachel Hollis literally clears out all of the mess and makes room for who we were created to be. It speaks on 20 lies (many that we've already told ourselves) that have kept us from living our best life to the fullest, and then unearths the truth of who we really are, preparing us to embrace and use the abilities that we truly possess.
‘The Purpose Room: A Meeting Place Where You Discover, Birth And Accomplish Your God-Given Purpose’ by Heather Lindsey
Sometimes the question isn't what our purpose is, but how we're going to get there. The journey doesn't necessarily get easier just because we know where the finish line is; but this book motivates us during the race when we might be tempted to ease into another lane that's not meant for us. It encourages readers to stay the course in every stage of our purpose from discovery to fulfillment and beyond.
‘Restless: Because You Were Made For More’ by Jennie Allen
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com
I can testify that this book lives up to the hype. I borrowed it from a friend years ago and I'm ashamed to say she has yet to get it back. The book itself empowers us to not just recognize our gifts and passions but to use them daily, realizing that we have them for a reason. Whatever it is you feel that you might be missing can be discovered through this book. Plus, there's a workbook that helps us tap into our purpose in a way we can't deny.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
5 Signs You're Living Your True Purpose
4 Millennial Women of Color Talk Finding Their Purpose
How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'
This Career Coach Gave Up A $103K Salary To Live In Her Purpose
Featured image by Shutterstock
- This Book Completely Changed My Outlook On Life - xoNecole ›
- The 19 Books Every Entrepreneur Should Read - xoNecole ›
- The 19 Books Every Entrepreneur Should Read - xoNecole ›
- Discover Your Purpose: Lessons from Six Climate Reality Leaders E ... ›
- 8 Crucial Books for Finding Purpose in Your Work and Life ›
- Discover Your Purpose: How to Use the 5 Life Purpose Profiles to ... ›
- 17 Best Books on Finding Your Passion and Purpose in Life (in 2019) ›
- The 10 Best Books To Help You Figure Out Your Life ›
- Discover Your Purpose Book ›
- Discover Your Purpose: How to Use the 5 Life Purpose Profiles to ... ›
Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images