'Bachelorette’ Star Michelle Young Says She Focusing On Herself After Breakup With Fiancé Nayte Olukoya
Michelle Young and Nayte Olukoya made history when they became the first Black couple in the Bachelor nation. Michelle, 29, was The Bachelorette on season 18 and ultimately chose Nayte, 27, at the end of the competition series. From day one, their connection was apparent to everyone watching at home and those on the show. So much so that the sales executive often dealt with jealousy from his competitors. However, six months after the finale, the former couple announced that they have called off their engagement.
In her Instagram story, which is no longer available, the Minnesotian shared the news with her followers. "I'm struggling to say that Nayte and I will be going our separate ways but I stand with him in knowing the heaviness that is present in both of our hearts as this relationship has been very real for us," Michelle wrote.
She then addressed her former fiancé in her message. "To you, Nayte, you quickly became my best friend and the love I have for you is incredibly strong. I will never stop wanting to see you succeed."
She continued, "I will always acknowledge and appreciate the adventures, support, and growth both Nayte and this experience have brought me. At the same time, I'm deeply hurting and will need time and space to work through this heartbreak."
Nayte also shared a statement about their breakup. "When we both started this journey, we were looking for our Soulmates. Our forever. Our best friends," he wrote. "However, as we grow and learn, we also realize that sometimes somebody that you hold dear to your heart isn't somebody that you're meant to spend the rest of your life with."
"Hearts are heavy, emotions are high, and we are dealing with this the best way we can... We genuinely fell in love, and we genuinely became each other's best friends. Michelle and I will always cheer each other on, but moving forward, we will be cheering from a distance."
Neither one of them has said much else about the breakup and they still have photos of each other on their Instagram pages. Recently, the Bachelorette star has thanked fans for their support and shared that she went on a last-minute trip to Iceland with her girlfriends.
Her relationship with Nayte isn’t the only thing she’s taking a break from. Prior to their split, Michelle appeared on the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast and emotionally revealed that she would be stepping away from teaching.
“Nayte and Michelle’s breakup confirmation via their instagram stories #TheBachelorette”
\u201cNayte and Michelle\u2019s breakup confirmation via their instagram stories #TheBachelorette\u201d— Erin Alexandria (@Erin Alexandria) 1655512239
Michelle was an elementary school teacher and even had students from her class on the show. "I was sitting down with my coworker and we were just kinda talking about this school year and how long we've been in survival mode, and my coworker kinda just asked me, 'Well Michelle how long have you been in survival mode?'" she said. And as she asked that, it kinda caught me off guard to actually stop and think how long I have been [in] this position, and my response was two years."
She went on to explain why she’s been in survival mode, citing the pandemic, the broken education system, and being a reality star. "I really feel that, you know, as I move into this next year, I have decided to step out of the classroom," she said. "Bear with me here. This [is] going to be emotional so I have decided to step out of the classroom."
"This doesn't mean I'm never going to step back in the classroom," she added. "This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not going to continue working towards a Masters in Administration and potentially get back into that direct line of education."
"But it's me stepping away for a year to truly capitalize and push forward and put all my energy and efforts into my passion in a different way and really truly try to push for that change because staying in the classroom and seeing and feeling that weight just shows me that something has to be done."
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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