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Women With Unique Skin Share How They Learned To Love Their Purpose-Built Beauty
Picture-perfect skin has become the new normal in the social media era. You can literally edit images to be whatever you want it to be with apps like Facetune, Airbrush, Retouch and so many more. With a swift cinch you can snatch your waist and with a simple swipe you can erase your acne. Why are we like this? Why do we desire perfection so passionately. And I say "we" because I am guilty of using Facetune to edit parts of my body and face. What's also mind-blowing is how body positivity is more prevalent than skin positivity. In this age of envy, society has become enthralled with living the picture perfect-life with picture-perfect skin and a picture-perfect body. It's not realistic and it creates illogical standards.
Our bodies and our skin were created to be unique; there is truly beauty in divergence.
Above all, beauty is being comfortable in your own skin and even OG Edgar Allen Poe once said, "There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion." Truth is, people relate to you and love you more when you keep it all the way one hunnid. And if we are being real, we are way too self-critical.
Here, three bold and beautiful women share their stories on learning to believe in their purpose-built beauty and share advice for women struggling to accept themselves.
*Responses have been edited for length and clarity.
Berlange Presilus
Courtesy of Berlange Presilus
"I am fashion (role) model, teacher, entrepreneur, warrior and advocate. I was born with a rare condition called Klippel Trenaunay syndrome, KTS in short. KTS is a rare congenital vascular disorder in which the limb may be affected by port-wine-stain (red-purple birthmark involving blood vessels). 1 out of 100,000 people are affected by this condition. Growing up, something was noticeably different about me as an infant; my right leg was longer, bigger than my left leg, it was deformed; and I crawled [and] walked differently than a normal child. By the age of twelve, I began to suffer the most with Skin ulcers, migraines and blood clots.
"I have battled with depression along with a great measure of anxiety. I struggled with rejections, pain, self-insecurities and suicidal thoughts. I have fought with life and the feeling of not being good enough to do and be anything worthy. I wanted to belong…
"I have constantly battled with my emotions, doubts and questioned my abilities and aspirations. Most times I was just confused about my existence; aimless, helpless and bothered. I lived a worried life! I spent years seeing all kinds of doctors but I was not able to get any help. The doctors had thrown their hands up in defeat because they never encountered such a mysterious condition in all their years of experience. In the end, I was assured by one doctor that I would die by the age of 19 due to being chronically ill.
"For years, I lived vicariously through those that were brave enough to speak their truth, reveal their pain, air out their wounds and did it with such passion and pride. I, too, wanted to be that brave. However, I was never that brave. After two surgeries and countless hospitalizations, I developed another long-term condition called Lymphedema. Even then, I had to make a decision to either pity myself or embrace and be proud of every inch of affected region of my body.
"I chose to stop living with fears of being judged and being talked down to. I became determined to own my truth boldly, live life with a grateful heart and full dedication to inspire the masses. Growing up, I had no role model, no one to relate to. For that reason I grew up confused, lonely, hopeless and unfitting. Nevertheless, I never gave up. Somewhere in between my misery, I found strength and my purpose. I would like to call that period of time my 'AHA period'. I recognized my power, the power that lied deep inside of me. Now that I recognize my strength and power, I am being everything I needed when I was growing up. I represent possibilities!
"My mission is to show the world that despite being born with one of the rarest syndromes, beauty is an introspective perception and one's attitude towards themselves and others. Beauty is not about outward appearances, but rather, the make up of one's character.
"Your perception of beauty will be varied through time, but always remember that beauty is an attitude...a mindset. Beauty goes beyond skin because it comes from within. Beauty is simply happiness...BEAUTY IS YOU! Your story only means that you were created with a gift. Although you may have spent years confusing your gift as a curse, I hope you can look in the mirror and face the strong woman you are.
"Your story isn't yours alone. It is through every pain, hurt, rejection and disappointment you will become who you were meant to be: A force! YOU are your own magic! There is only one you in this world, one out there who looks like you and no one can do anything like you…that is your magic. Whether you know it or not, everything you need is already inside you."
Ashley Featherson
Courtesy of Ashley Featherson
"Living with psoriasis has been a challenging yet rewarding journey. Growing up, it was difficult because I wasn't 'normal' or looked like everyone else. I didn't like the stares or being asked so many questions or even [being] picked on at times. Over time, however, I had to really deal with it and stop allowing it to control my life. I would cover myself in makeup and wear clothes to cover every inch of my body, even during the summer.
"After several people, both loved ones and strangers, kept complimenting my beauty and encouraging me to step away from makeup, I finally did. It was the best thing I could've done. I still like to get dolled up here and there, but I don't wear it as a mask to hide what I once saw as flaws.
"Since this newfound confidence and self-love, I've become a part of a community that understands the highs and lows that comes with unique skin; I no longer call it a disorder or issue.
"I've also pursued modeling and enjoyed amazing opportunities with that. I started doing things out of my comfort zone to help boost my confidence. My advice to others is you have to love yourself and embrace all of you! How others treat you is a reflection of how you love and treat yourself. Take a leap into enjoying activities that you may not necessarily do. Spend more time reflecting on why you feel the way you do about something and really dig deep to heal from it. Live life to the fullest and stop worrying about the opinions of others.
"Now instead of feeling ashamed or annoyed when asked questions, I use it as a moment to teach or even help someone that's dealing with anything that keeps them down. It's such an amazing feeling when parents, children, and peers thank me for being an inspiration. I've finally learned the beauty in being different."
Iomikoe Woods
Courtesy of Iomikoe Woods
"I got vitiligo at the age of 25 years old. I noticed a tiny white spot under my arm while shaving and I immediately contacted my family doctor. He told me it could have appeared because I was allergic to razors, so he told me to stop using them. I did. But then a couple of months later, a tiny white spot appeared under my left eye. I panicked like, Why was another one popping up? I ended up moving and relocating to Arkansas because of a hurricane where I lived in Louisiana. It started to spread even more after we moved, so I told my ex-husband and he suggested I contact a dermatologist because my skin was only being affected. It took about a month to get my appointment and there were so many things running through my mind.
"I thought I had skin cancer. I didn't know what it could be. Was I being cursed for something I did? Why is my skin turning white? The dermatologist knew immediately what it was when he saw me; he told me I had vitiligo. I asked him if there was a cure or any medication that could treat this or if I had cancer. After saying 'no', he laughed, but I didn't think it was funny at all. The doctor told me of a few treatments that could or couldn't work and if I did want to use these treatments, they might cause skin cancer or even severely damage my skin. He showed me pictures of other people with vitiligo and my heart dropped to my feet. I was so devastated, I cried all the way home. I'll never forget that moment.
"I was so depressed, I covered my skin condition for over 12 years with makeup. I spent thousands of dollars on makeup to keep my secret hidden. I didn't want anyone knowing I had it.
"Then, it spread so much I couldn't hide it anymore. I tried long sleeved clothes, sweaters, gloves, whatever I could use to hide it. One sweet day, God sent me an incredible man who loved me no matter what. I even hid it from him when we first started dating and one day I got busted without my makeup and he said, 'Oh my God, have you been hiding this from me? Why didn't you tell me?' I told him I thought he would think I was a monster. He replied by saying, 'You are so freaking beautiful. I love you. I only see true beauty in you. My God, woman you're stunning. So what you're different. You should wanna be, you stand out from everyone.'
"One day we were laying in bed and I came across a photo on Facebook of a model who looked like me. Her name was Winnie Harlow and she was a beauty. He said, 'You see. I told you vitiligo is beautiful. She's a model. You can model too, honey.' I thought he was only saying that 'cause he loved me but he reassured me he was saying this because he wanted me to believe that for myself.
"When I looked in the mirror, I saw with my eyes and I didn't see myself through God's eyes.
"I used to write affirmations on my mirror and I believed it. When I did, my life changed. I've been on television, I've done magazine articles and appeared on blogs around the world. Through modeling, I've changed so many people's lives by just being myself. It was hard to be free from people's judgment and just be the woman God called me to be. I made it to my peace when I stop letting them stop hindering my destiny and followed the path and purpose God had for giving me vitiligo.
"I want women to know that you are beautiful no matter if you're different. Embrace what people call 'imperfections' because what are imperfections? It may be imperfect for them but it is perfect for you! I say embrace your difference because it makes you uniquely you, so follow your purpose. Yes, it's hard living in a society where social media controls people and a society that tells you what you should look like. Follow your own path, the path to your own purpose. Walk in your truth and be youthful. Own who you are, own your beauty and your difference. It's what makes you stand out from the rest."
Featured image via @spottietoohottie_/IG
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
Shaunie Henderson On Being A Nontraditional Pastor Wife
Shaunie Henderson, the creator and executive producer of Basketball Wives, redefines traditional expectations as a pastor's spouse and first lady of The Lighthouse Church.
The star's journey began with a whirlwind romance with Pastor Keion Henderson in 2020, which led to their marriage years later. Since then, Shaunie has embraced many typical first lady roles, including supporting her husband, engaging in ministry responsibilities, providing spiritual leadership, and conducting community outreach.
Yet, the 49-year-old's background sets her apart from other first ladies. Shaunie brings a unique perspective as a public figure, which stems from her previous marriage to NBA star Shaquille O'Neal and her experience in reality television.
In an interview with xoNecole, while promoting her memoir Undefeated, the Basketball Wives creator discussed what being a first lady means to her and how she has lived her life non-traditionally.
When asked if she had always been nontraditional, Shaunie revealed that throughout her life, she has made it her mission to better herself by learning from experiences and breaking harmful cycles.
Shaunie Henderson and Pastor Keion Henderson
Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images
“I think that's just who I am. I can’t say I intentionally go against the grain. In the book, I talk about things from my childhood, like my dad being late all the time. I was totally opposite with my kids when they were in school. I was always there early. My mother is not affectionate, and she doesn't verbally say, ‘I love you,’ but she does things to let you know. That's the way she shows her love,” she said when describing her relationship with her parents.
“But because I missed that 'I love you' and hugging and kissing, I do that with my kids. I try to always give what I needed myself. There were basketball wives who weren’t very nice to me, so I went out of my way to make sure that once I was a wife that I didn't treat anybody else like that. No one was going to feel like that on my watch.”
Toward the end of the conversation, when discussing her first lady responsibilities and the pressures of upholding that image, the mother of five explained she isn't too hard on herself to fit the mold, given her significantly different background from most first ladies and her relatively new role.
“As far as being first lady, now, I'm not knocking how any first ladies decide to operate but I just knew that the idea of what that usually is was not me. And, to be honest, rightfully so. I'm probably the only first lady that created a reality show that has been on television since 2010. My life is not remotely close to that of most first ladies. We've experienced completely different things. Most of them have been pastor’s wives for a long time, this is all new for me. I come with an entirely different journey; that wouldn’t lend itself to being a traditional first lady,” she stated.
Shaunie's nontraditional approach appears to work in her favor, as she has been welcomed with open arms just as she is.
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Feature image by Marcus Ingram/Getty Images