Quantcast
Brace Yourself: There Are Potential Cons of Using a Vibrator
Getty Images

Brace Yourself: There Are Potential Cons of Using a Vibrator

What could possibly go wrong with your favorite sex toy?

Sex

Recently, I watched a YouTube video that was so ridiculous (to me, anyway) that I'm not gonna even link y'all to it. The gist was it featured a woman who was going on and on about us not needing men anymore because we've got technology. When another woman refuted her point by bringing up the fact that it takes both men and women to keep humanity going, I thought about a woman in my own world who is currently so fed up with guys that she's now named her vibrator, claiming that is the only "man" she needs. Chile.


True confession here — I have never used a vibrator before. Even when I used to be a big-time masturbator, there was no electronic device that helped me along my merry way. Still, it's not like I don't get that there aren't some pluses when it comes to those who choose to have one — or seven or 10 of them. I mean, anything that can give you an orgasm can help to relieve stress. With a vibrator, you don't have to worry about getting an STI/STD (unless you're sharing it with them) or pregnant from one. And if you struggle with climaxing during intercourse, a vibrator can help you to figure out why and/or it can deliver to you what you can't seem to (at least currently get) any other way. Check. Check. And check.

Still, if you read enough of my content, you already know that I'm all about balance and also making sure that you are clear on the motives behind why you do what you do. So, if you happen to be like the woman that I know who thinks that vibrators don't have a potential "downside" like just about everything else in life, I just want to take out a couple of minutes to offer you some things to think about.

It Could Lead to Clitoral Discomfort

According to one study that I checked out, around 53 percent of women admitted to using a vibrator (personally, I think it's significantly higher than that). Many of them said that they used theirs at least four times a month with 71 percent of them saying that they didn't experience any side effects. Glad to hear it. Still, something to keep in mind is, if you're using your vibrator constantly, it could lead to some level of clitoral discomfort over time. How in the world can that happen? If you're continually giving your clitoris direct stimulation, the discomfort could come from the vibration stimuli that never really lets up.

Is there a "hack" for this? One of the main things to keep in mind is that you should use lube with your vibrator (that will significantly decrease the chances of any minor "rub burns" from happening) and that you try and avoid always applying direct pressure to your clitoris with your vibrator as much as possible.

It Could Give/Spread an Infection

If you're the only one who is using your vibrator, how in the world can it give you or spread an infection throughout your body? Well, bodily fluids are just that and if you're using your vibrator without thoroughly cleaning it after each and every use, that could cause bad bacteria to "double up" and give you some sort of infection. Or, say that you like to penetrate your vagina and your anus. Remember how we were instructed to wipe from front to back while growing up? If you're not applying this similar take on the sexual tip, you could give or spread an infection throughout your system that way too.

This is why it's so important to use a vibrator that's made of nonporous materials such as silicone or glass; that you use a washcloth, an antibacterial soap, and warm water to clean your vibrator, and that you store it in a box or pouch, so that dust and debris doesn't get onto it.

It Could Cost You a Couple of “Orgasm Phases”

You've probably heard that there are several phases/stages to having an orgasm before. Well, while some sex and wellness experts believe that there are eight of them (climax, resolution, restoration, turn-on, peaking, excitement, plateau and stillness) most say that there are only four — desire, arousal/plateau, orgasm and resolution. Desire is what happens when you're in the process of getting excited about getting turned on. Arousal/plateau is your body's response to sexual stimulation that helps to bring you to an orgasmic state (such as foreplay, oral sex and intercourse). Orgasm is your climax. Resolution is what happens when your orgasm is completed, you start to come down from your "high" and satisfaction (and oftentimes fatigue) transpire.

Well, here's the thing about a vibrator. Once you get a handle on how to make it work for you, oftentimes you jump right to the orgasm while basically bypassing desire and arousal. While you might be reading this and thinking "OK…and?", the point here is you deserve to experience all stages including being turned on and the true pleasure that comes from foreplay, oral sex, etc. Besides, there are things that happen during those phases that oftentimes don't get talked about, nearly enough. This brings me to the next point.

It Could Cause You to Miss Out on Hits of Nitric Oxide and Oxytocin

A colorless gas and essential molecule that your body needs is nitric oxide. A natural hormone and chemical messenger that's in your system is oxytocin. Nitric oxide is essential because it can improve your blood pressure, decrease muscle soreness, strengthen your heart, help to manage type 2 diabetes and keep your blood vessels nice and healthy. Oxytocin gets discussed quite a bit over this way because, not only does it help partners to bond during sex, it also reduces stress, promotes physical healing, cultivates emotion-related memories, increases sexual arousal and encourages sound sleep.

Thing is, when you constantly opt for a vibrator over a human being, it could cause you to skip right over the arousal phase which is how both of these things are substantially triggered. So, you could be missing out on some of the chemical and hormonal benefits that sex with an actual person is able to provide you that sex with a vibrator does not.

It Could Negatively Affect Your Communication with Your Partner

One of the challenges that I have with some of the clients that I work with is when they are mad at their husband, they decide to "take it out on their vibrator". Since all they seem to be concerned with is spiting their man (by not giving him any) and getting the stress out from being pissed, they can end up, oftentimes without even noticing it, becoming addicted to this approach. This prevents them from fully talking things through with their partner, so that a healthy sexual (and emotional) connection can resume. Another challenge is when a newly-married woman has been so used to relying on her vibrator (and/or faking orgasms with her partner) gets married and realizes the responsibility that comes with marital sex (meaning, it's not just something that you should do randomly; it needs to be seen as a staple in the union), she doesn't really know how to effectively communicate with her partner what she needs in order to be (or remain) sexually fulfilled.

Yep. That's another challenge that comes to totally relying on a vibrator for sexual satisfaction — it can have you internalizing your needs while taking on the mindset, "Screw him. Where's my vibrator at?" and when you're in a serious long-term relationship…yeah, that's not good.

Patterns are patterns and vibrators can put you into one like anything else. That said, if all you're really concerned with is getting off and nothing else, once you do have sex with a human being, you could find yourself so caught up in immediate gratification that you don't know how to enjoy everything that leads up to climaxing or even all of the pleasure that can come after it (check out "Sure, Your Foreplay Game Is On Point. Now What About The 'Afterplay'?"). It can have you so self-consumed and even selfish that you end up being impatient with and perhaps unrealistic about what it means to engage another individual.

As you can see, everything has a flip side to its coin. A vibrator has pros and potential cons, if you're not careful. So, before you push play on Whitney Houston's "All the Man That I Need" as you get your vibrator out of its box, reflect on what I just said. A vibrator can be a source of pleasure yet it shouldn't be treated like a replacement for sex with an actual person. Because let's be real — there isn't one.

Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.

Featured image by Getty Images

From Love & Basketball to The Woman King, The Evolution of Gina Prince-Bythewood

Of all the joys that came from my recent viewing of The Woman King in theaters, my favorite was simply watching another one of Gina Prince Bythewood’s visions brought to life. Since 2000 when she came on to the scene with her sports romantic drama Love and Basketball, Bythewood has built a diverse filmography that centers Black women.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Bags Secured: How Tia Mowry Continues To Make Money Moves Outside Of Acting

After 25 + years in the entertainment industry, Tia Mowry has remained a mainstay in many of our lives. Tia and her twin sister Tamera garnered fame after starring in their own TV series Sister, Sister, which premiered in 1994 and since then we have seen them venture into solo endeavors. Tia, specifically, went on to act in the film Baggage Claim, Netflix’s series Family Reunion, and who can forget her role as Melanie Barnett in The Game?

Keep reading...Show less
5 Ways To Keep It Together On A Stressful Work Day

Stress is a common part of living, especially when it comes to work. For women, the impact can be felt even more due to workplace issues including unequal pay, gender discrimination, and race-related aggressions. In fact, research shows that professional women experience more stress than men, with a 46% prevalence for those employed full-time (versus 42% for men).

Keep reading...Show less
What 14 People Say 'Great Sex' Means To Them

What is the difference between bad, average, and great sex? If I ask thirty people this question, I would get thirty different answers. As someone who's had their fair share of both good and not-so-good sex, I understand that there is no one size fits all answer to this question. "Great sex" can mean different things to different people. Case in point, I once had an amazing sexual experience with a guy that a mutual “friend” had a horrible experience with. Great sex is subjective AF! According to the mutual friend his sex was subpar at best. One person’s trash is another one’s treasure. Great sex boils down to what is good for you and your partner at the moment. No two people are the same so no two sexual experiences will be the same either.

Keep reading...Show less
Halle Bailey On The Revolutionary Act Of Wearing Her Locs As Ariel

When the trailer for The Little Mermaid dropped, everyone finally got to see Halle Bailey as Ariel. Black women and girls raved over the singer/ actress’s beauty as the beloved character while she belted out the Disney classic song “Part of Your World.” And one of the most noticeable things that many fans pointed out was that the character’s red hair was made of locs.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts