This Influencer Embraces Her Sexuality While Saving Smart
Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Though social media only sees a sexy influencer when you come across her Instagram page, Tere Tatiana is the definition of beauty and brains, and proof that being sexy and smart can coexist in today's digital world. Born Tereion Tatiana Henry, the self-proclaimed "cornbread-fed Georgia peach" graduated summa cum laude from Claflin University with a degree in Public Relations. In 2009, admittedly thrusted herself into the balancing act of being a single mother and preparing for deployment to Afghanistan as a government contractor.
Her four businesses––Labeled Blu Collections, Labeled Blu Realty, Labeled Blu Transportation, Southern Hospitality Adult Daycare Facility––are a product of her ambition and determination to fulfill her purpose to break the stigma against women in today's society. Though she has not personally experienced it, she recognizes the struggles of social media influencers who embrace their sexuality while being respected as businesswomen and entrepreneurs. Tere told xoNecole that the only negative experience she encounters is upon first impression when people believe her brand is shallow and solely based upon the glitz and glam of the influencer lifestyle. "Once they get to know me or see the informative business information I share with my followers, they message me apologizing for misjudging me and some even want me to mentor them. It's always gratifying when I can change a person's perspective of attractive women in business," she shared.
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"I feel society can do more by not shaming women for being human. Being sexy or having sex period shouldn't even be a topic of discussion when involving business. There are so many women who are smart, ambitious, tenacious, and driven, but just so happen to be sexy. Society should celebrate that."
"To me, it's very important for women to capitalize on their own intellectual, their own education, and experience, their own swag. It also gives her a sense of ownership and accomplishment by seeing her baby through," she said referring to a woman's business, brand, or project.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the 34-year-old serial entrepreneur and social media influencer about turning your influence into wealth, increasing your income during the COVID-19 pandemic and her journey to financial stability as a smart, sexy entrepreneur.
On how much she saves and if it’s in a high-yield savings account:
"With my current budget, I have a set $2,000 monthly savings requirement for myself. It's been working pretty good so far. It's in a high-yield savings account."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"To me, wealth refers to a person's monetary value perceived by others, while having success is how a person perceives themselves. Having self-fulfillment that doesn't necessarily relate to finance."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"The lowest I've ever felt was when my ex-husband, who is an officer in the military, and I didn't have $13 between the two of us to get our daughter a can of milk in 2009. Yes, we both came from very supportive families but it was the principle for me. It really triggered my mentality towards being financially secure. In my mind, it pushed me into leaving my daughter at four-months-old to go to Afghanistan to make fast money. I vowed I'd never have that feeling again. And thank God, I haven't.
"I channeled that negative feeling of not being able to provide for my child into building a legacy I can one day be able to pass along to her. I have pursued and secured several very lucrative streams of income, that way I'd have a better chance of maintaining financially if anything were to ever happen economically."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"My biggest splurge would be my 2020 Maserati truck. It has always been my dream car and I felt as though I've worked hard enough for long enough to treat myself to something nice."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"I channeled that negative feeling of not being able to provide for my child into building a legacy I can one day be able to pass along to her. I have pursued and secured several very lucrative streams of income, that way I'd have a better chance of maintaining financially if anything were to ever happen economically."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I am a woman (laughs) so I would consider myself a spender by nature. I had to train myself to become more disciplined, which was extremely hard. Honestly, I could probably do better."
On the importance of investing:
"It's very necessary to invest. My motto in business and life in general: Everything is a flow. Nothing can come in if nothing comes out! You have to sow seeds. If for nothing else, making residual income. A lot of millionaires become millionaires or multi-millionaires from making residual income. I've invested hundreds of thousands in different business ventures, as well as into myself and my brand. I also invest in stock, I purchased some Facebook stock when they first went public, as well as Bitcoin."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"Everything is a flow. Nothing can come in if nothing comes out! You have to sow seeds. If for nothing else, making residual income. A lot of millionaires become millionaires or multi-millionaires from making residual income. I've invested hundreds of thousands in different business ventures, as well as into myself and my brand."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"I would like to become even more financially literate in moving and saving money. At this point in my life, it's hard for me to fathom retirement. I feel as though I'm one of those people who always have to have their hands into something."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"My budget must-haves would be cosmetics (hair, makeup, nails), tuitions, paying myself first, and food! (laughs) I'm definitely a foodie."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"My streams of revenue are from my trucking, real estate, and adult daycare facility. I also still make over six figures yearly with my job as a government contractor. I'm also in the works of developing a virtual trucking course for those looking to get into the trucking industry.
"Having multiple streams of income is very necessary! In today's unstable economy, entrepreneurs must remain fluid in order to survive. Plus, it's common knowledge that most millionaires have at least seven streams of income."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"Having multiple streams of income is very necessary! In today's unstable economy, entrepreneurs must remain fluid in order to survive. Plus, it's common knowledge that most millionaires have at least seven streams of income."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"I had a really big problem with having the attitude of 'I'll make it right back!'. I'm so accustomed to making and being around fast money. Even as a child, my mother was a popular hairdresser from my hometown, so I've seen fast money my entire life. I [overcame it when] I saw [that] I got more accomplished. I actually began to 'see' my money and how it was working for me. I became more financially stable. I was even able to show others how to adopt the same mindset."
On her money mantra:
"I actually have two: 1) 'I am unapologetic about my desire to live a rich life', and 2) 'Money flows to me with ease and grace'."
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"(Laughs) Looking back at it, I wouldn't necessarily consider it desperate, although I felt like it was at the time, but I was an exotic dancer in college. I wasn't desperate but I've definitely always had money on my mind. I've always wanted to be independent. My intentions were definitely in a good place, just misguided."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"I would have to say going into my adult daycare business without a direct plan. It started as a group home, then evolved into a residential, then finally an adult daycare over the course of four years. Although this is a very lucrative industry, the investment and overhead was a bit of a blow to my financial plan––I would do more research next time."
On her budget breakdown:
How much do you spend on rent? $2,500
Eating out/ordering in? $1,000
Gas/car note? $2,000
Personal expenses? $6,000
For more Tere, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Tere Tatiana.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images