

After Breast Cancer, My Husband's Affair Led Me To A Boob Job That I Don't Regret
Every year, around October, I always feel a pang of sadness at the memories of my breast cancer battle.
It resurfaces, and it lingers. I remember how it was the start of a series of unfortunate events. I recall how the way each event hit me in a sequence of situations that would change my life forever.
The first hit – I found out I had breast cancer.
The second hit – my husband died suddenly.
The third hit – I found out my husband had been leading a double life and had betrayed me.
I was afraid to die. I was grieving a man I thought I knew. I had the horror of fighting a deadly disease and all the accouterments that come with it — hearing loss, burnt nails, weight loss, and fear.
And on top of it all, the loss of my breast.
I love my breasts the same way I say that I love my body as a whole.
They have always been both the underline and the punctuation of what made me feel womanly. And without one, I felt incomplete. My breast was a part of me and it pained me to let one of them go even if I was sick. I felt like I was losing a part of myself. And I had already lost so much.
My fight with breast cancer coincided with multiple fights against outside forces that seemingly sought to destroy me and that continued to deceive me – their motives still to this day evade me. I was in the midst of battles that ultimately made my life become susceptible to an all-out war.
I was in battle with a woman who brought dirt into my life and home and I needed to protect what was mine. I was fighting against an intrusion of people who my husband had trusted would always be there for me if something happened to him. I fought and still fight for insurance money – unpaid.
Bigger than that, I fought against my own mind and the everyday reminder of just how human I was and how easily I could also break.
I'd always go back to the thought that maybe if I had my loving best friend, my ride-or-die, my partner in crime, and the person I trusted most in this world to give me the things I could not, it all wouldn't be so devastating. The one who was supposed to always be there for me and love me no matter how I looked could reaffirm me about losing my breast. And that I didn't need the things I felt helped make me whole. But I didn't have my breast, and I didn't have him. Thirty days before my chemo, I buried that man, steel casket and all.
So, like it or not, for all the battles I faced, I needed to feel whole. I needed to feel pretty. I needed to feel like myself. In order to be strong enough to stand up against these demons, I needed both of my breasts.
And I believe breasts have power.
One night, after my husband passed, the other woman had the nerve to contact me. On the nightstand near my hospital bed was my cell. I heard the text alert ring and moved to retrieve it, assuming it was one of my children trying to reach me. But to my surprise, it was the woman I did not know was cheating with my husband. Along with her confession, she texted me that I didn't deserve this and that I was a good person. I was seething with anger.
Why was she intruding into my life at the worst possible moment of my life?
I can't say I was completely taken by surprise by her text, but I can say that I wondered if my husband had known how illiterate his mistress was. She wrote in all caps and couldn't spell. She said I would be alright – again, in all caps. She wrote all this as I lay watching a morphine drip numb the pain from having my breast lopped off and nothing, but a flap of skin left in its place.
This is when I decided to have a reconstruction of my breast. I could not allow life to take from me, not when I had so much life in me left. And although it was a major undertaking, it was a necessary decision. It took numerous surgeries to repair my breast. Nine in all.
And each one, I faced alone.
He was under the dirt. I was left to sweep it up.
After the final surgery, I had a strange feeling. I can't exactly explain it aside from its strangeness, but I prayed it wouldn't leave. I didn't want to go back to having anxiety in my every swallow. I think it was a feeling of almost wholeness again because I have two breasts that match. I felt like I was actually coming back to me – whoever that was – with so many changes and losses, my world turned upside down, but I was back. Somehow, I felt I could now face the “other" woman, eye-to-eye, with strength, confidence, and pride. Because she had nothing on me.
Here I am a successful entrepreneur, Ivy League grad, and recipient of numerous accolades and awards, but in a battle over a man, it all comes down to the outer and not the inner. Because we revert to our animalistic needs. Why her over me? Better sex? Kinky sex? Bigger breasts? Bigger ass? Taller? Thinner? Shorter? Thicker?
We're not in a debate competition. We were in a battle of the breasts.
So, despite the three life-changing hits I took in life's ring — facing death, facing fear, and facing betrayal – I find myself still standing in the ring, celebrating victory. At five years, my oncologist said I could talk about being cured. And now, years beyond those initial five years, I can officially say that I am cured.
Cured of more than just what happened to me physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. When I learned of my husband's affair shortly after his death, the betrayal from him and my body felt like two blows to my ego and how I felt about my beauty and my womanness.
Having one less breast than the other woman admittedly made me feel inadequate and like I couldn't compare to the woman she was.
Maybe wanting breast reconstruction was a way to remedy those feelings and was a way to prove my worth as a woman, not just to him or to her, but to me. But afterward, I've realized how much bigger it is than breasts or any aspect of the external aspects of me. In the end, my breast reconstruction helped me to see the bigger picture.
Despite the things that have happened to me, I am a survivor, I am resilient, and I can move on.
*Article Originally Published on New York Trend
Dr. Teresa Taylor Williams is the Founder, CEO, and Publisher of TTW Associates Inc./New York TrendNewspaper, the largest Black-owned newspaper in Long Island with a circulation throughout New York. With a master's degree in psychology, a master's degree in administration, and a doctorate in administration, Dr. Williams takes pride in being a role model and a mentor to the younger generation.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
We all have a dream life that we spend our free time daydreaming about. You know, the one with a loving partner, high-rise apartment, thriving career, and endless abundance. But as much as we can dream about it, there has to be a little extra sprinkle of “magic” to make it become a reality, and that’s when manifestation comes in.
The uptick in manifestation techniques is nothing new to the internet. Since The Secret and the Law of Attraction became available on YouTube in the early 2010s and fast forward to today, where #manifestationtok and #spiritualtok surging in popularity, it’s clear that there are a number of different ways to get what you want out of life with the right action, affirmation, and visualization.
Still, with so many ways to manifest, from scripting to the 3-6-9 Method, it can be hard to know which one to lean into. But there’s one new technique that’s promising to yield “instant results,” and we’re curious about it.
The "I Am Sure" Manifestation
@hothighpriestess Replying to @A I M E E 🖤 lG: hothighpriestess 🤍 this is the “I am sure” method #iamsuremethod
The “I Am Sure” manifestation gained traction this summer by TikTok creator Sara Perl of @hothighpriestess, who initially introduced the method.
In her original video breaking down the concept, she detailed the steps to use the technique for those looking to “manifest overnight.” To do so, start by stating “I am sure,” followed by “your desired manifestation in the present tense.” If there’s a job, promotion, or text from a crush that you want, then you’d say, “I am sure that I got X job,” or “I am sure that I make a $100K salary.” Repeat this out loud 10 times, or for faster results, write them down on a piece of paper and say it back to yourself whenever the desire comes up.
Using your words and speaking in the present tense, affirmatively, “puts you in the frequency that has that desire,” as Perl states. “We know our thoughts create our reality, but our words create our reality even faster.”
No matter how you choose to manifest your dream life, there’s nothing like channeling a powerful affirmation and some faith to get what you desire. In every instance, though, allow yourself to dismiss any doubt that may try to cloud your hopes in good things coming into your life, and don’t hold too tightly onto the “how” or “when.” Trust the process and know that the “thing” that you desire is just waiting for the perfect time to enter your life.
Happy manifesting.
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