

What if I told you that the universe is conspiring to help you achieve all of your heart's desires? What if that vision that you had was more than just a dream? What if everything that has happened in your life up until this point has been so that you can make that dream a reality? The truth is, that's exactly what I'm telling you, sis. Issa fact.
When we're little, we dream of becoming astronauts, firefighters, and in Missy Elliott's case, a world-renowned superstar. In a recent interview with Marie Claire, Missy opened up about how she manifested the life of her dreams by simply speaking it into existence and letting God handle the rest.
As a grade school student in Virginia, her classmates would have never believed that Melissa Arnette Elliott would one day win six Grammys, two AMAs, and become the first female rap artist to be inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, but she did. In fact, Missy said that she saw herself as a legend long before anyone else could. Missy explained that in elementary school, every week, the teacher would ask the students what they wanted to be when they grew up, and Missy's answer was always the same:
"'I'm going to be a superstar,' and the whole class would bust out laughing."
While some may have felt discouraged, to Missy, the giggles of her classmates acted as motivation to become the icon that she was born to be. Instead of feeling crushed by the pessimism of others, she began to speak the life of her dreams into existence:
Erika Goldring/Getty Images
"It's funny because I was just telling somebody that everything I spoke, I've done. And that's how powerful the tongue is...I used to sit in the house and act like I was having conversations with Janet and Michael and Madonna and whoever. I then would go and say my thank you's for award shows that I hadn't made it to yet. I had speeches, and I would be in the mirror thanking my mama."
Somewhere along the line, we're told that our dreams are too far out of reach and that we should choose a goal that seems more attainable, so instead of chasing that dream to become an entrepreneur and open your own storefront, you took a gig managing someone else's; or instead of auditioning for that part in that movie, you played a part in your own unhappiness and accepted a job that you knew would never satisfy you in the first place. Playing it safe can be one hell of a drug, but according to Missy Elliott, you have to ignore the non-believers and do it anyway:
"Trust me, I was broke. And my family would be like, 'You better find something to do.' They told me to go in the Army. I'm like, 'I'm too fat to go in the Army. Where I am running to?' Everything just seemed so impossible at the time because we didn't have the technology to be able to reach out and put your stuff online and people get a chance to see it. So you have to be at the right place at the right time."
Missy said that she carried on this spirit of speaking her dreams into existence into adulthood even after securing a bag.
"I told my mother, 'I'm going to buy you a house, and I'm going to buy you an elevator in case your legs start hurting.' And she would laugh and be like, 'All right, okay.' But when I got my first check, I didn't even buy myself a house first. I bought my mother a house. Put a Bible in the soil and built it from the ground up."
We can all take a page out of Missy's book when it comes to manifesting our best lives through our words. The tongue holds the power of life and death so it's important to be selective with what words you allow to be spoken over you. If Missy had listened to her classmates, who by the way were loud and wrong as hell, we would have never been able to "Lose Control" or experience what it truly means to Get Our Freak On.
After battling Graves Disease, domestic abuse, and a brutal, male-dominated entertainment industry, there's nothing Missy can't overcome; and do you know why? Because she said so, damn it.
Read Missy's full interview here!
Featured image by Erika Goldring/Getty Images
- Missy Elliott Is An Example Of How Powerful The Tongue Is - xoNecole ›
- Tameka Foster-Raymond Creates New Animated Series & Shares Why Black Women Should Be Unafraid To Ask For Help - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- Missy Elliott Opens Up About Graves' Disease Anxiety - xoNecole ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole