Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson And The Cost Of Being The First
If the vote splits along the party lines as it is expected to, judge Ketanji Brown Jackson will be confirmed as the next justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America.
The former public defender and judge will have the distinction of being the first Black woman to occupy the prestigious and coveted role, a fact that has dominated much of the conversation around her nomination and her confirmation hearings.
For four days, Judge Jackson sat in front of a belligerent committee answering a barrage of questions ranging from the ridiculous to the downright offensive. Questioning whether her time as a public servant makes her equipped to become a justice to asking her topical — yet irrelevant —- questions about critical race theory and transgender identity. Notably, Texas senator Ted Cruz grilled Jackson about whether he could “turn Asian” or if “babies could be racist” while holding up a copy of an anti racist book for babies. During the hearing, Republican Senator and Senate Judiciary Committee member Thom Tillis from North Carolina even quipped that the extent of his legal knowledge comes from watching the show Law & Order.
Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson being sworn in for her SCOTUS nom hearing
J. Scott Applewhite-Pool/Getty Images
Of all the performances that took place during the confirmation — the bravado, the racism masking as curiosity, the feigned ignorance — it is perhaps the role of the worthy that we all watched Jackson play. There was a photo taken of Jackson as she stands squarely in the middle of a group of white photojournalists who have their lenses fixed directly on her – an almost too apt visual metaphor for the constantly leering gaze of whiteness that Black women operate under.
The disrespect that Jackson faced inflamed a familiar wound for many of the Black women who watched the hearings. There’s not only an expectation for Black women to absorb the verbal assault that comes from being a Black face in a white space, but a virtue that we must inhabit in order to survive.
Much is made about the breaking of glass ceilings, but nothing about the blood that pours out from the person who does the shattering. We’ve been convinced that abuse is worth accepting for the sake of class ascension and being in rooms we’ve historically been barred from. Instead of questioning whether these spaces are worth assimilating into or worth existing at all, we laud the strength of Black women who trek through the treacherous world of whiteness as a way to assuage our guilt for not doing anything to alleviate the burden that requires resilience.
It matters little that Judge Jackson is considered the most qualified person who would ever sit on the Supreme Court or that she has a white husband and the backing of organizations like the Fraternal Order of the Police or that she’s well educated or one of the “good ones.” There’s a fluidity to whiteness’ cruelty, an ever expanding playing field that allows for such moral impurity to happen. What if instead of trying to climb the ever increasing ladder that is required of us to get into these elite spaces, we decided that the ladder isn’t worth climbing? Or that the ladder shouldn’t exist at all?
During the confirmation hearings, Senator Cory Booker gave a speech of support and celebration for Judge Brown Jackson’s nomination that roused many but left me unmoved. He spoke about the legacy of resistance that led to both him and Jackson being able to sit in that room this week. But violence is just as much as a part of that legacy. After listening to Booker’s speech, I couldn’t help but feel that after all those years of righteous struggle, the best we could do was become a part of the thing that tried to kill us.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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The pandemic marked a shift in many societal norms, and not many were fun – except one – the reemergence of micro weddings!
Say what you will about weddings, but watching micro weddings throughout the pandemic brought so much joy and hopefulness in the opening act of despair as we know it (because, as we now know, COVID was just the tip of the iceberg). However, I’m sure it felt a bit turbulent to the couples at the time, or at least those forced to switch to a micro wedding after months or even years of planning a…macro…wedding.
What Is a Micro Wedding?
If you’re somehow behind on the times, micro weddings are more intimate in size but still have all of the imagination and extravagance of traditional weddings (if not more). This differs from a shotgun-style wedding in Vegas or at the courthouse. The magic number is 50 guests or under.
I recall a fellow alum from my college taking wedding photos in a beautiful gown with a ton of hot air balloons floating above her–in my network alone the micro wedding aesthetic went off!
Though this particular genre of weddings became popularized during the pandemic, micro weddings have always been an option. And, though you might think they’re on the decline since the pandemic is “over” one TikToker predicts they will continue gaining traction and becoming preferable over traditional weddings. This is largely based on the decline in wedding guest counts that predate 2020.
According to The Knot, weddings have gone from an average size of about 136 in 2017 to decreasing to an average size of 115 guests in 2023.
Something Old, Something New
What’s news to me is the existence of a "minimony," also known as a "mini wedding ceremony"–a new concept coined during the pandemic. Although both minimony and micro weddings prioritize intimacy, there are a few key differences, including how intimate the event gets. Size matters! So, while a guestlist of 50 is acceptable for a micro wedding, it’s closer to a perfect 10 as far as a minimony is concerned.
The other standout piece is that a minimony focuses more on the ceremonial aspect of the wedding – it’s closer to an elopement-style wedding than it is to a traditional wedding – focusing on the sharing of vows and cultural traditions. There is usually an officiant and a photographer, but rarely a full-blown reception. This portion of the ceremony is condensed down to a couple of desserts, allowing guests to celebrate with newlyweds closely.
Finding the One
Ultimately, finding the right wedding fit for you will rely on a variety of factors such as budget, family closeness and size, quality time with guests, convenience, and much more.
As a girlie who has only ever wanted to get married to appease my ego-driven Leo rising, yet is still on the spectrum of introversion – the micro wedding feels ideal because it meets that need without breaking the bank. I don’t know if I could justify tens of thousands on a wedding simply to have all eyes on me–especially because I’d much rather justify booking a flight or two with it. If I see a wedding in my lifetime, know this is where it’s at for me!
At the end of the day, so much of planning a wedding is truly about the individuals involved and their preferences. And, so you’ll want to consider how a micro wedding may or may not meet your needs when you begin the planning process.
LumiNola/Getty Images
Want to have a micro wedding? Here are some tips to assist with the planning process:
- A venue that vibes: Turns out “location, location, location” isn’t just talk for real estate enthusiasts. You will want to make sure you carefully choose a venue that fits your micro wedding just right. I hadn’t considered how important this might be until I had, but an extra large space on an intimate-sized wedding takes away from the intended intimacy – makes it feel unintentional and vacant. Consider spaces such as a rustic barn, restaurant, garden, or even your backyard.
- Small talk: You’ll want to inform your vendors that you’re going small – this will allow them to tailor their packages to meet your needs.
- DIY on the decor: Now that you’ve decided to entertain a smaller group of guests, you may be interested in and open to adding a personal touch by tackling a “do it yourself” project that pops. Maybe you do the calligraphy on your invitations or repurpose items you already have for decor.
- “Zoom” in: Though you’ve decided to go a more intimate route, this doesn’t mean there weren’t people you wish you could’ve invited. But, thankfully, we have advanced significantly in technology, and you’re able to livestream your wedding, so no one really has to miss out on the big day. (FYI: I’m not sure that you’d use Zoom – there might be something a bit more official and elegant).
- Up the ante: If budget constraints weren’t a reason for wanting to have a micro wedding, consider placing a great emphasis on quality when it comes to food, bar, flowers, and even your photographer.
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Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images