I Do's And Dont's: A Wedding Planner Emailed Outrageous Guest Demands & The Internet Went Crazy
Ah, weddings: some love to attend them and some love to hate them. From black tie to completely casual, we've all attended at least one wedding and typically have a good understanding of proper wedding guest etiquette. Most of the time we leave relatively unscathed: basking in the love of the bride and groom, bellies full, perhaps a little (or a lot) tipsy, and ready to take off our high heels.
But what happens when you get invited to a wedding with a list of "demands" outside of the typical "please arrive early" or "child free reception" request? You might have heard of the "Unplugged Wedding" where guest we not allowed to take pictures with their devices. This pales in comparison to the bride who cancelled her wedding four days before the date when she didn't receive $1500 in cash from each guest to fund her "Kardashian-style" nuptials.
In another recent story that screams "Team Too Much", a Reddit user uploaded a "list" of demands from a wedding planner—which has now gone viral—that dragged the bride-to-be's outrageous requests.
The email screenshot—which has been upvoted nearly 11,000 times and has almost 1,300 comments and counting—starts off relatively mundane, with a call for a final head count.
"Good morning, my name is [REDACTED] and I am the wedding coordinator for [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. I am reaching out to all confirmed guest to do a final head count and go over some rules and regulations of the wedding day."
But as you read on, the list goes from completely understandable—please arrive 15-30 minutes early—to utterly over the top—hairstyle demands and admission price included. Check out this list if you needed a good LOL today:
VOGUE
Rules and regulations:
- Please arrive 15-30 minutes early.
- Please DO NOT wear white, cream or ivory.
- Please do not wear anything other than a basic bob or ponytail.
- Please do not have a full face of makeup.
- Do not record during the seramony.
- Do not check in on FB until instructed.
- Use #[REDACTED] when posting all pictures.
- DO NOT TALK TO THE BRIDE AT ALL.
- Everyone will toast with Rémy. No acceptance.
- Lastly must come with gift 75$ or more or you want be admitted.
"First of all" no white, cream or ivory attire: cool. But a bob or ponytail? So you want me to not only find a dress, shoes, accessories and transportation to your wedding, but I need to get a new wig, too? Oh, okay. And what exactly do you mean by a face full of makeup? Like, I don't even go to the grocery store without foundation, mascara and a lip, but you need me at your wedding barefaced doing the #NoMakeupChallenge? And what even is a "seramony"?
GIPHY
The one that really took me all the way out was the "DO NOT TALK TO THE BRIDE AT ALL" part. Does this include everyone or just the email recipients, because I'm gonna need for you to make this make sense. As one Reddit poster put it, this overzealous wedding coordinator is liable to do the absolute most:
@HelloTiredImDad: And do you Mrs. Smith take...
Wedding coordinator: HEY! I SAID NOBODY TALKS TO THE WIFE! NOW GET OUT!
GIPHY
It is understandable that as a wedding coordinator you want to make sure that all ducks are in a row and that there will be no upstaging the bride.
However, this "rules and regulations" list sounds like it's either coming from a delusional and petty bride herself, or the wedding coordinator is secretly living out her own "dream" wedding scenario, quickly turning it into everyone else's nightmare. I'm not the only one that thinks it might be bridezilla gone full dragon, as LadyBarclay points out:
"I can't believe any wedding coordinator - meaning a professional one - would be so rude, tacky, or in such poor command of the English language. That this post is instead from the bride, or a close friend she roped into helping her, thinking she sneakily found a way to dictate how her guests will behave/perform without being labelled a bridezilla? THAT sounds more likely."
Had I received this email, I would have quickly thrown my invitation AND the friendship in the trash. It's one thing to ensure a head count or to even kindly request a cash gift, but to tell me what to give, how to present myself and exactly what to drink is too much. You don't know what my financial status is nor are you privy to whether or not I have an allergy to your drink of choice or if I'm even drinking at all.
I admit, I had a Bridezilla experience at my own wedding. I was completely frustrated when my own family hijacked my plans of getting eloped with just a few guests and turned it into a full-on party with over 30 people, none of whom we had invited. I was fuming!
But ladies, this long list of unreasonable demands is on a whole new level.
What's the craziest wedding request you've heard of or made yourself? Let us know in the comments.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
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DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
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Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl: Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
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Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
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Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence's inaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
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Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
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Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
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Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
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Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
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Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
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Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
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Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
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AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
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Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl: Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
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Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty