Quantcast
Jill Scott Is Armed & Ready For the Post-Divorce Dating World Thanks To This List
Shelly Wall / Shutterstock.com

Jill Scott Is Armed & Ready For the Post-Divorce Dating World Thanks To This List

Celebrity News

Sometimes you've got to learn the hard way. In life and in love, some lessons won't get through until you really go through it. Believe me, I know. Some may call it "hard headed" or deem me a hopeless romantic, but after all the pain and frustration of divorce and trying to get back on the dating scene, I've learned more about myself than from any man out here. Mainly I've learned more about my own set of deal breakers and how to spot the truth-telling red flags. Now I'm trying to lean into the lessons and up my f*ckboy repellant.

For Jill Scott, she is coming to terms with the lessons she's learned after a tumultuous marriage and subsequent divorce battle. Even though this was her second try at marriage, based on her most recent post on Instagram, she is still open to finding true love. But this time around, she will NOT be used.

The singer reposted a meme detailing a list of things all ladies (and gents, I see you) should look out for when playing your cards in the dating game. Let's talk about it:

Believe Patterns Not Apologies

I'm typically a forgiving person by nature, and over the years I've learned that the manipulators can read it all over my face. In the dating world, when you're getting to know someone, all you really have to go by are their words and actions. So if he's on his fifth "I'm sorry I didn't call you like I said I would", it might be time to let that one go. Like Maya Angelou says, "When someone SHOWS you who they are, believe them." Check for the patterns and act accordingly.

Don't Fall in Love With Potential

media.giphy.com

Whew chile, this is a whole word all by itself. We fall in love with potential so often that we don't even realize it. He has the potential to be ready for a committed relationship if he would just give up the other women he's checking for. He has the potential to do great things with his life if he would just do x, y and z. Listen sis, we all have potential but potential doesn't always materialize. It's one thing to cut a dude some slack while he's grinding towards a better future, but hoping someone will change just for you is a whole waste of time.

Believe All "Red Flags"

We can recognize the red flags all day, but what are we doing with this information outside of complaining about them? They say that in the first few months of dating, everyone is on their best behavior. I've come to believe that regardless of this, people start to show their hand pretty quickly if we use our ability to tap into every woman's superpower: intuition. If something doesn't feel right or seems a little "off", recognize that feeling and do a little research if you have to. Take note of the red flags, because there's nothing wrong with combining your intuition with a little investigative skills.

Know Your Worth

If you've spent any time on this site, then you'll know that understanding your own worth and value is the ultimate currency.

media.giphy.com

When we don't know how truly valuable we are, we might fall victim to folks that will try to take advantage of our own devalued self-image. We have to do the work, write the intentions, and love the reflection in the mirror more than anyone else. So if no one told you today, you are beautiful, you are fabulous, and you deserve all of your hearts desires in this lifetime. Don't settle for less!

Don't Lower Your Standards

It's okay to have standards, contrary to the opinions of the generic f*ckboys out here. We need to be aware of our own personal standards, make a list, and refuse to waver. Jill hopped in her own comment section to give us the perfect spin on what her standards are and why everyone's list will be different. She says:

Instagram / @missjillscott

"Note – Your standards are not everyone else's. I won't do Uncle Daddies – the ones that call every now and then; who see their children a few times a year. THAT is one I just don't respect. Lack of respect is a dry bobby. I prefer a juicy existence. Ya dig? Or someone who is disrespectful to their parents. Nor can I do broke/broken yet comfortable. Nah. Write YOUR list. Sometimes it's better to know what you don't want."

With this list, we can do a better job of taking stock of the men in our lives and hopefully avoid a lot of heartache. Do you have your own list of non-negotiables? What would you add to this list?

Featured image by Shelly Wall / Shutterstock.com

These Are The Hair Trends Bringing The Heat This Summer & Beyond

One of my favorite aspects of being a Black woman is the dedication to our ever-changing hair. Forever testing the bounds, we love staying a step ahead while placing no limits on what we can do with a lot of texture and a little imagination. Our hair is a lifestyle and the art of being a Black woman includes our diverse range of looks we can pull off from one week to the next. Whether a sleek pony or beachy body waves, we can literally pull off anything we set our mind to.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Judge Faith Jenkins And Kenny Lattimore Announce They’re Expecting Their First Child Together

Judge Faith Jenkins shared some exciting news with her social media followers. She and her husband Kenny Lattimore are expecting their first child together. The TV host/attorney made the announcement alongside Kenny and their adorable dog who wore a sign that read “Mom & Dad are getting me a human.”

Keep reading...Show less
Blue Ivy Carter Now Has Two Gold RIAA Certifications Thanks To Beyoncé’s ‘Renaissance’ Album

Beyoncé has had a lot to celebrate over the last few weeks after the release of her album RENAISSANCEand now her eldest daughter Blue Ivy Carter can join in on the fun. Blue reportedly has scored two gold RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) certifications, one for “BROWN SKIN GIRL” from The Lion King: The Gift and “Blue” from Beyoncé’s self-titled album. These gold plaques only add to the 10-year-old’s other accolades.

Keep reading...Show less
How To Turn A Hobby Into A Lucrative Business

There's always talk about creating a side hustle and having multiple streams of income, but what happens when you're already super-occupied, booked, blessed, and busy with the 9-to-5 you have on top of other responsibilities like managing a household, pursuing higher education, or loving on bae? Well, one of the best ways to leverage a great side hustle opportunity is to look into monetizing things you already do as hobbies.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

"I felt like I was not enough. And my mental health is important. So when I started feeling that way, I knew that it was time to shift."

Latest Posts