8 Times 'Dear White People' Gave Us Our Whole Lives
I could start this piece with a list of things that I don't like about Dear White People, but that list would be pretty short. For starters, we won't get to indulge in the highly-anticipated third volume until Friday, and secondly, there should definitely be more scenes featuring a shirtless Marque Richardson, but I digress.
Related: Season 3 Of Netflix's 'Dear White People' Officially Has A Release Date
While we await the return of Winchester, it's only right that you go back and re-watch every single episode before August 2nd, and thanks to xoNecole, you can skip straight to the good parts with our list of the best moments from the show so far. Without further ado, here are 8 watch-worthy moments from the show that you'll want to catch up on before the new season premieres.
Light spoilers ahead.
Coco & Troy's Situationship Comes To A Head
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: One
Episode: Six
I think we're all guilty of being so anxious to meet "Mr. Right," that we settle for "Mr. Right For Now" in the meantime. For Coco, that man was Troy Fairbanks, AKA, the Barack Obama of the Ivy League. Throughout the first season, we see Coco and Troy's situationship evolve from f*ck buddies to having the makings of being a real power couple; that is until Troy's chronic f*ckboy-ism kicks in and damns it all to hell.
Despite his affinty to be an asshole, we do see some extremely cute moments from this couple. When Troy accidentally pulls off Coco's wig during sex and put on his durag to match her Meek Mill braids, our entire hearts melted.
A Candid Convo About Colorism
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: Two
Episode: Five
Dear White People proves that colorism isn't some mythological creature that lurks in the shadows, issa real-life issue that affects our personal relationships. In the first season, Coco and Sam's relationship dips its toe into the light skinned/dark-skinned waters, but the previous season made an effort to really "take it there," using Sam and Joelle's relationship as a diving board.
In Volume 2 of the series, Sam and Joelle attack the 'Pam and Gina' narrative from a realistic perspective when the friends have a multi-layered disagreement about the levels of black privilege.
... And Sisterhood
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: Two
Episode: Nine
Nothing brings people together like loss, and near the end of the second volume of Dear White People, we see that happen in a major way with the Black girl magicians of Winchester.
While Kelsey may have been a one-dimensional character with a cute purse in Season One, we get to know more about the tiny-dog toting princess in an intimate girl chat between her and Coco, who reveals shocking news about her decision to have an abortion. Along with delving into touchy topics like colorism, women's rights, and sexual identity, these women also show what sisterhood truly means as a Black face in a mostly white place.
Reggie's Fine Ass... Being Fine
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: Boffum
Episode: Every Episode
Marque Richardson is a national treasure and should be protected at all costs. This 33-year-old actor drizzled his chocolately chocolateness all over this show, and it's safe to say that his performance deserves all the awards. Along with becoming Joelle's newest love interest, Reggie also faced his share of trauma in the series. After an altercation with a police officer at an on-campus party sends Reggie into a downward spiral, we get to see another, more vulnerable side of the character.
Tessa Thompson Slid Thru With A Reality Check
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: Two
Episode: Ten
In the moment we've all been waiting for, Sam and her alter ego, Tessa Thompson, who played Sam in the show's prequel film, meet and it was everything we'd hoped for. The show's creator and showrunner Justin Simien said that even if Tessa didn't star as Samantha in the movie's spinoff series, he wanted the actress to be an essential part of the show. That's when Rikki Carter's character came to mind.
Joelle Finds Herself In Too Deep With A Hotep Hottie
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: Two
Episode: Five
Although Joelle and Reggie's melaniny matrimony seems like a match made in heaven, Reggie's inabiilty to get right leads her right into the arms of the hotep of her nightmares. While this episode points out some of the hardships of millennial dating in the digital age, it also addresses the Kelly Rowland effect that Joelle feels has come to light since coming to Winchester.
Sam Checking TF Out Of Gabe's Privilege
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: Two
Episode: Seven
I'm not the only one who had a few choice words for Gabe after discovering that he was the one who called the policeman that nearly killed reggie, and Sam let that be known in Volume Two. Finally bringing her boo's white savior complex to a heel, Sam gave Gabe a read that every ally needs to hear.
The Hero Reveals Himself
Courtesy of Netflix
Season: Two
Episode: Ten
Right when we think we have Ivy League life all figured out, the gang discovers a secret society that has the potential to turn Winchester upside down. In the final episode of the last season, we learn that the narrator is none other than our favorite on-screen uncle, Giancarlo Esposito, who also has something to do with an elite group of Black ancestors that we will likely learn more about in Volume Three.
Featured image courtesy of Netflix.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images