I dare not lie and say I have all the answers to fighting systematic racism or the social injustice that continues to plague black folks. In fact, a few weeks ago I was just as angry, tired, and confused as the next person. I cried my tears, stewed in my frustration, and vented until I could vent no more.
I had an honest moment with myself, admitting that all the reposting in the world did little to fix the issues at hand. After coming to grips with this reality, I decided I was going to do something that mattered, but what? Between work, a baby, and COVID, I knew protesting in the streets was a no go for me. Thankfully, my Sorority sent out a call-to-action that included several ways I could make a difference from home. Once I worked through that initial list, I stumbled upon resource after resource and even created a few ideas of my own.
Here is a rundown of some of my faves thus far.
When We All Vote
If you are like me, you have seen activists everywhere harping on the importance of voting. There is a reason for that. Our vote dictates more than who becomes President, it influences who serves as District Attorney, Mayor, City Councilmen, and so forth.
Make a concerted effort to learn more about the issues affecting your state and hometown. Next, look at which candidates seem most aligned with the needs of your community. Take note of their stance regarding social injustice and other issues facing the black community. Mark your calendar with reminders of election days in your city. Finally, if you've moved, changed your name, or just aren't registered to vote, you can visit whenweallvote.org to register.
See Something, Say Something
We often discount the power of our voice. If you notice a lack of diversity or an instance of social injustice, call it out and ask for help changing it. It is as simple as writing or calling your Congressman to state your concerns and what you'd like to see happen as a result of those concerns. If you're not sure where to begin, NAACP.org does a great job of laying out some of these concerns in an easy-to-understand format that you can use as a guide.
Lack of diversity at work? Write your CEO to respectfully explain your experience as a black employee, why it matters and solutions for change. You may be surprised to see the impact your voice truly makes.
Participate in the Census
There's not enough emphasis placed on truly understanding the importance of the census.
The census is vital to change because it directly affects billions of federal government budgetary allocations. These allocations could be the difference between funding community centers in black neighborhoods or elsewhere. Nearly everything you can think of is impacted by the census – public transit systems, highway repairs and construction, free lunch, daycare, and housing assistance just to name a few. In addition, the census determines congressional representation. It is also used to draw congressional legislative districts as well as state legislative districts. The opportunity only comes once in a decade and it's here now. If you haven't already completed your 2020 Census, visit 2020Census.gov. The process is quick and painless but makes a world of difference.
Spend Consciously
With black consumers spending more than any other demographic group, now is the time to put your money where your mouth is. Only shop with socially responsible companies who reflect good diversity practices and are in the fight for equality with us. Be conscious about supporting Black-owned businesses and double down on your philanthropic efforts by contributing to organizations that are making a difference in your community. Not sure whether you should support a brand? Go follow @pullupforchange. You will find diversity stats and action plans for a ton of major brands with the list growing daily.
Use Your Influence
Been sitting on a great idea? Now's your chance to put it out there. Get creative about effectuating change by leading your own movement. Do not despise small beginnings. If everyone did something positive, imagine the difference we could make.
For my part, I have hosted a little black dress photo challenge to bring awareness to the slaying of Breonna Taylor and raise funds for justice. Aside from this, I created an email template that can be used as a starting point for discussing workplace diversity. The outcome of these efforts has been phenomenal. A huge reminder that we all have what it takes to fight the power by using our voice and our resources.
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Below are four essentials that make up Savannah's beauty space.
Vanity
@allure/ Instagram
The video starts off with Savannah showing us her vanity, and everything is organized and labeled. “I love makeup,” she said. “All of my things have been organized for me, which makes it easy to find the things that I need because it’s a lot in there.”
Affirmation Corner
@allure/ Instagram
As she continued showing off her vanity, she also gave us a glimpse at the affirmations she has on star sticky notes posted on the mirror. Some of the affirmations say, “I am loved,” “I am capable,” and “I am strong.”
Soaking In The Bathtub
@allure/ Instagram
One of her favorite ways to relax is by taking baths. “I take probably five or six baths a week,” she confessed. “It’s the best thing in the world. I go through bags and bags and bags of Epsom salt." She continued, “Usually, my kids and my husband know that if they can’t find me, this is where I am.”
Skincare and Haircare Drawers
@allure/ Instagram
In her bathroom, Savannah has two drawers that she calls her “go-tos.” They are her skincare and haircare drawers. The skincare drawer has items like makeup pads, gua sha, and wrist towels ( for when water drips down your arms when you're washing your face), and her haircare drawer includes scrunchies, clips, wig pins, and more. “I am obsessed with skincare. I’m a skincare junkie,” she revealed. “I just think it’s one of the parts of my self-care routine that is a non-negotiable.”
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Feature image by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images
