
‘Teen Mom OG’ Star Cheyenne Floyd’s Engagement Sparks Hot Topic With Baby Shower Proposal

If you follow Teen Mom OG, then you were elated last week (Apr. 25) when one of the show's stars, Cheyenne Floyd, celebrated baby no. 2 on the way with a beautiful baby shower she showed off on Instagram. There was also a surprise plot twist that happened during the shower—a proposal. The 28-year-old's on-and-off again boyfriend Zach Davis popped the question and the two are now officially engaged.
"Speechless," Cheyenne wrote under her Instagram post of shots from the proposal. "We said Yessss! Today was perfect! I can not put it into words yet but this is a moment I will cherish forever 🤍 thank you @z.terrel I love youuuuuu!!"
Zach also posted the special moment, revealing that he gifted Cheyenne's four-year-old daughter Ryder (which she shares with ex-boyfriend Cory Wharton) with a diamond ring of her own. "She said yes! Put a ring on both of their fingers! I love you fiancé @cheynotshy today we celebrate a lifetime together!" he wrote.
While social media seems happy for the newly engaged couple who first shared their love story on YouTube, their proposal brings up the hot topic of baby shower proposals. While the romantic in me believes, love is love and should be displayed whenever and however—say it loud and say it proud. I also feel that a marriage proposal during a baby shower seems like something contrived "after the fact" and seemingly disingenuous since you're both caught up in all the feelings that come with bringing a child into the world.
That said, I was curious to hear the opinions of my peers to get a better consensus of how folks view baby shower proposals. Below you'll find responses from men and women millenials on the subject that often get mixed opinions.
What Men & Women Think About Surprise Baby Shower Proposals
"To each their own."
"I'm a little more traditional so I would rather be engaged before the baby shower. But I do think that, yes, it's an opportunity for you to have all your family and your friends there celebrating with you. I mean, to each their own, but I still think that there should be some more thought behind the proposal—not just because a baby is coming. It's not happening before or after the pregnancy so it feels like it's being done out of obligation more than anything." —Edna Lareya, 32, HR VP Coordinator
"It feels forced."
"It feels forced like, 'Why is it now that you want to be with me forever? I wasn't worth forever before the baby?' It's not for the couple, but more for the critics as in family and friends that may have their own opinions. To me it's just adding to the embarrassment the woman may potentially feel that she's having a baby without being sure that there's a committed man in her life. It feels like a pity proposal." —James Cameau, 30, Behavioral Health Therapist
"I prefer intimacy."
"Personally, I would prefer an intimate proposal. With that being said, I don't see an issue with proposals (planned and not pressured) at a baby shower. I think they are so romantic and beautiful! Did I mention cost efficient?"—Natasha Sibre, 30, Teacher
"I'm good on that."
"I personally would not like a baby shower proposal. I would hope that by the time that I am ready to have a child, I'd be married."- Anne Marie Gonzales, 31, Digital Manager
"It shows an expression of a deeper love."
"In a nutshell, I think baby shower proposals are beautiful. It shows an expression of a deeper love acknowledged. To think that the love of your life saw this as not only a new journey, but a next chapter between the two of you and wanted to seal the deal on this special day. I'm all for it. I think, however, some things can be taken into consideration, naturally. Is this a proposal from the heart? Or, an opportunity that may be pressured by family and friends? Would a proposal have happened if this wasn't the situation? Was it ever discussed? Nonetheless, this moment is always special in a woman's life and I think it would always be treasured. You don't come across many occurrences when all of your family and friends are in one place at the same time, so why not use it!" —Saphia Louise, 31, Mother/Photographer
"A baby shower is not a place to propose."
"I personally don't appreciate them. It makes me think the guy is now pressured into proposing because a baby is on the way. And the pressure can come from the girl as well as her family and friends. A baby shower is to celebrate the arrival of the baby not to propose. The proposal also sometimes happens because the girl doesn't want to be just a 'baby mother' because that term has a negative representation."—Christina Singh, 30, Teacher
"Life gets complicated sometimes."
"I think making a proposal for marriage at a baby shower is fine. Of course, the goal is to be married before we have children, but life gets complicated sometimes."—Jeffrey DeRose, 31, Founder Startup Advisory Group
"Go for it."
"I've seen a couple of baby showers and/or 'engagements-while-expecting' turn out really well (as far as longevity). I have nothing against baby shower proposals because for all you know, he probably wanted to marry you before and/or feels pressured by outdated, societal norms to make your partner a wife before making her a mother. Who's to say that the couple wasn't always in love, intended to get married eventually but then boom--baby came first! It's not always about going by 'the order of your list' as it just sticks to checking off your list. So go for it!"—Soraya Joseph, 32, Journalist
"I'd rather propose on a separate occassion."
"I'm not big on mixing different events together, I'd rather propose on a separate occasion with something special planned."—Marco Cayetano, 31, Independent Contractor
"They should get their time and be well thought-out."
"Like Christmas and birthday gifts should be separate, a baby shower and a proposal are two very important days in your girl's life. They should each get their time and be well thought-out. Due to the day and age we are in though with COVID, it's hard to bring people together for things so just for that reason I think it's acceptable in 2021."—Hala Maroc, 29, Multimedia Personality
"Baby shower proposals are becoming cliché."
"Personally, I would like to be proposed to before a baby shower. These baby shower proposals are becoming very cliché. It seems like, 'Welp, she's pregnant so I gotta marry her now.' At least that's how I would feel. I want someone to love me so much that they want to spend their life with me regardless and the baby is the addition. I'd always wonder if I didn't get pregnant would he have proposed."—India Douglas, 31, LMSW/Therapist
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Featured image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for MTV
Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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You Don’t Have To Choose: How Black Women Can Care For Others Without Self-Sacrifice
One of the primary instructions we receive before a flight takes off is to prioritize putting on your life vest first if there’s an emergency, even before assisting others. It’s funny how this rule rarely translates to the daily routine of women.
As women we are taught, directly and indirectly, to put others first. Whether it’s our romantic partners, kids, parents, friends, or even our jobs. Mental health survivor and founder of Sista Afya Community Care, Camesha Jones-Brandon is challenging that narrative by using her platform to advocate for Black women and their right to self-care.
Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
pixelheadphoto digitalskillet/ Shutterstock
“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
Roman Samborskyi/ Shutterstock
While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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