Who Said That?! The Biggest Myths About Birth Control Explored
Birth control makes you gain weight. Birth control causes infertility. Birth control leads to cancer.
The list goes on and on when it comes to the reputation of how birth control (allegedly) impacts the female body. And I'm definitely one of those girls who was afraid to get on the pill, thanks to its seemingly scary reputation. But after doing plenty of research, I've channeled my inner Porsha Williams of RHOA and asked, "Who said that?!" when it comes to these speculations, because most of them aren't true. Yes, every woman's body is different and takes to birth control in its own way. But in essence, birth control isn't the cause for many of the problems we face. Let's get into debunking these myths, shall we?
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It Causes Infertility
One of the reasons I was hesitant to get on birth control was because I had heard horror stories about women who had trouble getting pregnant after they stopped taking the pill or removed some form of contraceptive from their body. This especially held true for a lot of my friends who had taken it in their teenage years with the hopes of attacking their irregular periods head-on. After being on the pill for years, many of them had trouble conceiving once they were ready. It's so easy to point our fingers at the pill because it can take a while to get birth control out of our system (an average of six to nine months). Still, there's no research that backs up the idea that birth control messes with our fertility. One doctor pointed out that if you've started birth control to help treat an issue (i.e. irregular period, endometriosis, or PCOS), the issue will most likely pick up again when going off birth control. That could contribute to problems with conceiving right away rather than the birth control itself.
It Makes You Gain Weight
I don't know how many times I Googled this after I started birth control. It seemed like it made sense to think that birth control was making me gain weight (or making it more difficult to lose it). While it's been said that birth control can cause your body to retain more water (which can lead to larger breasts… hey girls hey!), a doctor shut down the speculation that birth control is a direct cause to weight gain. At the same time, side effects to birth control (like what appears to be weight gain) should go away after about three months of being on the pill. Still, for women like me that were convinced my weight gain was because of the pill (I didn't have any trouble losing weight before and once I got on the pill, it seemed like it was holding on to my body for dear life), a doctor pointed out that this could be because of how your body responds to the hormones in birth control. This has yet to be proven. So for now, the consensus is that birth control doesn't cause weight gain. I'm not fully convinced of this yet.
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You Have To Take It At The Same Time Daily Or It Doesn’t Work
So all this time I guess I could've turned off my alarm set for when to take my birth control. I literally thought I had to take it at the exact same time every day or it would be less effective. Apparently, that's not the case, at least when it comes to the regular birth control pill that's mixed with estrogen and progestin. The ones that only have progestin do have to be taken at the same time every day. To be on the safe side, while it might not be necessary to make sure you have a schedule, it's definitely helpful; especially for the low-dose pill. Although the same exact time every day isn't necessary, it's important to take your daily pill within a few hours from that time each and every day. Breaking away from a schedule or completely missing days could cause breakthrough bleeding or a loss in effectiveness, and ain't nobody got time for that.
It Leads To Breast Cancer
It's easy to see why this myth has been going strong for years. The connection between oral birth control and breast cancer has increased over the years. Still, it's in the myth category because the connection is very low. The truth behind it basically says that the women who are most likely to get on the pill have lower cancer rates. It doesn't necessarily prevent cancer, but you don't have to think that you're welcoming any risk of cancer by taking the pill to put a hold (temporarily or permanently) on getting pregnant. Interestingly enough, birth control pills also have the ability to lower the risk of colon cancer, uterine cancer, and even ovarian cancer. And for those ladies who don't want to take the pill because breast cancer runs in the family, one doctor said that she suggests women in this position to take oral contraceptives considering it lowers the chances of being diagnosed with certain cancers, like ovarian.
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You Have To Stop It At Some Point
Listen, there is no deadline for when you can take birth control. Even though each of us has the right to stop taking it whenever we want (I'm about two weeks out of the game), it's not dangerous at all to stay on the pill for as long as you want. Keep in mind that while it can take a few months for your body to adjust to post-birth control life, you can also get pregnant right away. So it's not the best idea to stop because of fear of being on it too long. Again, no female body is the same. If you do feel like you're experiencing negative side effects associated with your birth control, then it's always best to have a chat with your doctor.
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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