How Long Can You Go Without Sex? Adrienne Houghton Says 12 Hours
It's been 525,600 minutes since I last got my back blown out. Sex is a natural cure-all that is said to relieve tension, improve sleep, boost your immune system, and even help you burn a few calories in the process. So far, I've gone a little more than 365 days since my last dose of vitamin D, but for Adrienne Houghton, going 365 days without sex is about 365 days too long.
On a recent episode of The Real, the hosts asked Adrienne how long she could go without having an orgasm and her first question was what we were all thinking, because we all know that having a partner isn't the only way to hit the jackpot (or the g-spot):
"With somebody or myself?"
After clarifying that no sex meant no toys, no orgasms, no sexual gratification of any kind, Adrienne revealed that the longest that she's willing to go without giving her lady love some personal attention is about half a day.
"I'd say a good 12 hours. No that's a long time! That's turnaround time."
I feel you, sis, because there ain't no shame in having a high libido and a healthy sex life, even (and especially) if you're a married Christian woman. Before marrying in 2016, Israel and Adrienne announced that they would be abstaining from sex ahead of their wedding date, but the talk show host made sure to pull out all the stops for their first night as husband and wife.
Adrienne shared that she even surprised her new hubby with photos from a risque boudoir shoot that she had printed and hung on the walls of their honeymoon suite. Since they've been married, Adrienne's learned that there's nothing like some good old fashioned Christian coitius, and even revealed a few of their kinks: toe sucking.
"It is more of an erotic thing. Like Karma Sutra-esque. I have enjoyed it therefore I would gladly reciprocate that erotic feeling. You guys it is a real thing."
Although Adrienne and Israel are now close to reaching the end of the newlywed stage in their marriage, she revealed on previous shows that their bedroom is still popping like the 4th of July. Even with Israel's teenaged kids around the house, the couple is intentional about fulfilling their marital duties on a daily basis. Either through sending each other quick texts or a quick tap on the shoulder to quickly retire to the bedroom, Adrienne said that she and her husband make their sex lives a priority. Last year, she told her co-hosts:
"I know that we discussed before I got married, how frequently I'd have sex. Well, I have an announcement today. I've kept my word. The girls were telling me, you're not going to have sex every day when you get married. You think you're going to, but you're going to be tired some days. Currently, I am still thugging it out and I'm enjoying it and I have not missed a day."
Their bedroom is so popping, in fact, that her co-hosts come to her for sex advice. In the past, Tamera Mowry-Housley said one of Adrienne's tips even got her pregnant with her 3-year-old daughter Ariah. According to Adrienne, she keeps her sex life spicy by staying up on her research:
"I talk to my single girlfriends too, and be like, so what are the young kids out there doing? I feel like every few years, there's some new things happening that I didn't know about. And I want to stay up-to-date and know what's going on. So I've got some great girlfriends that keep me in the loop."
Take it from Adrienne, do a Google search and suck some toes and you'll see an immediate change in your bedroom.
To watch the full clip, click below:
How Long Can Adrienne Go Without Sex?youtu.be
Featured image by Rodin Eckenroth/WireImage
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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