We have all lived through the good, bad, and ugly of love and relationships, and lately, I've noticed this influx of people who have no problem talking about every side of it in their podcasts.
I'm certainly here for it because for starters, it goes against the stigma that our generation doesn't value healthy love and relationships. But these podcasts also get into the nitty-gritty of every aspect that every couple can relate to; from the heavy moments to the ones that make us laugh because we literally just went through the same thing. Whatever you need, these podcasts will certainly get you and bae all the way together.
That Black Couple
The That Black Couple podcast, hosted by Daren and Jenn, is basically the epitome of all things Black love and relationships. Its motto is "A podcast about Blackness and adulting," and it certainly lives up to the hype while covering everything from love to pop culture and everything in between. Like, seriously. Some of their most standout episodes include toxic masculinity in relationships (come on!), whooping children, and how to know if you're getting proper sleep, as well as the setbacks that happen if you don't. And it's all from the viewpoint of Black married millennials in their 30's, which is something our generation desperately needs. So grab a snack, some Hennessy (that's literally what they tell you to do lol), and enjoy with your bae.
Love On Purpose
iTunes
This is a fairly new podcast. It's only a couple of episodes in, but I have to say, it certainly didn't waste any time in making its mark. Newlyweds Jay and Janelle Johnson might have only been married for a few months, but they're dropping gems that even seasoned couples can relate to and benefit from. I fell in love with this podcast immediately because they're so honest about the reality of marriage as they share so much about their life. They definitely bring the laughs as they reveal what they've learned as husband and wife (like one not knowing how to really wash dishes and the other being much more of a talker than expected). Get into it!
Black Love Matters
Getty Images
Yes, it does. And this podcast will never tell us any different. That's probably why it's a big hit. But it doesn't just dish on all things Black love, even though that's the main premise and perspective. The Instagram bio says it best: "A hilarious podcast for loving each other, figuring out adulthood, finding our inner Barack and Michelle." Isn't that what most of us want anyway? As for the episodes, they dish on everything from getting a dog, giving advice for couples that want to buy a house, and even had an episode called "Protecting Black Women." Here.For.It. If you really want to dig in, there is also a YouTube channel, a place where couples can submit their own stories, and a shop for #BlackLove gear.
Bonnets And Durags
iTunes
The Bonnets and Durags podcast is a pillow talk show at its finest. A beautiful girl named Simone serves as the host and will easily become your best friend in your head after listening to one episode. Sidebar: Yes, a female does host this show solo for the most part, but she raises awareness and topics of conversations that both parties in relationships can take advantage of. Her main push is to spark conversation for couples and millennials in general, concerning topics that some of us have the tendency to avoid. Plus, she never fails to feature a guest who can represent a male's point of view. And don't sleep on her Nightcap playlist – (she's thought of everything).
Couples Therapy
iTunes
What couple doesn't need therapy? In between sessions, feel free to sit on the virtual comfy couch of an amazing podcast. Candice and Casey get so candid that you'll feel like you're watching a VLOG of their life play out before your eyes. At the same time, this can be therapeutic because most listeners will realize they're not alone in the big and small things they deal with in their relationship regularly. In past episodes, they've gone further than just touching on topics and completely dived in head-first with their thoughts on forgiveness, disagreements/straight up arguments, and the possibility of getting too close and too personal with each other. It might be tempting to grab your popcorn and listen; but trust, you'll want to take notes too.
Dating While Black
Getty Images
If we're real, dating is probably one of the hardest things that we'll do in life. And unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's going to ease up; at least not this year. Thankfully, the Dating While Black podcast gives us some sort of relief that the struggle is not only real but more common than we think. Between DMs, Snapchat, and cuffing season, the art of dating gets a bad rap, and this podcast stirs the pot in the realest way possible. While it focuses on the realities of dating, this is a great podcast for couples because they'll still be able to relate to the struggle.
The Friend Zone
For starters, this is in no way a podcast hosted by a couple, or about only love, despite the name. But if anything, it will definitely be a good time for you and your boo if you're looking for a way to do life together. Considering it has three hosts – two guys (Asanté and Dustin) and Hey Fran Hey, listeners pretty much get every viewpoint on all things life, including love. But most importantly, the premise of the show is to discuss mental health, wealth, and even hygiene. Because, in their words, "who wants a musty brain?" For real, though.
Featured image by Getty Images.
Related Articles:
12 Must-Listen Podcasts For Women Who Want To Glow Up – Read More
14 Podcasts You Should Listen To With Your Girlfriends – Read More
10 Podcasts All Aspiring Girl Bosses Need To Listen To – Read More
Doing The Work Helped This Podcaster Surpass 2.5 Million Downloads – Read More
Now masterdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masterdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masterdating All About?
Getty Images
Masterdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masterdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masterdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masterdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masterdating
Getty Images
1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masterdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masterdating
Getty Images
So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masterdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masterdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FOTOGRAFIA, INC./Getty Images
