There really is no telling, just how many times I have included the Aristotle quote, “The excess of a virtue is a vice” in my content on this platform. Aside from the fact that it’s one of my all-time favorites, the other reason why I use it is, so often, especially when I read about trends that are happening on social media, it applies — because damn. If there is one thing that social media is an expert at, it’s doing everything in excess instead of taking information and figuring out how to find a balance to and for it.
And with that said, in walks what is known as sleepmaxxing. Since it’s been reported that approximately 1 in 3 people say that they don’t get enough sleep on a consistent basis, I do my best to provide tips on how to get the kind of sound rest that we all need (check out “12 Monthly Sleep Habits To Transform Your Rest In 2025,” “These Sleep Hacks Will Make Getting A Good Night’s Rest So Much Easier” and “Can't Sleep? These Warm Drinks Will Give You Much Needed Z-Z-Z's”). However, after I did some research into what sleepmaxxing is all about — well, I’ll just say that it’s got its benefits and also its reasons for you to not simply take it at face value.
If you stick around, I’ll explain how you can make sleepmaxxing work for you — so long as you apply some serious moderation to its method and approach.
You May Have Heard of Sleepmaxxing Before. What Exactly Is It, Tho?
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Sleeping to the max. At the risk of sounding very 80s and valley girl’ish, that’s probably the easiest way to break down what sleepmaxxing is because what it’s all about is finding the kind of sleep hacks that will make it easier for you to fall asleep, stay asleep and experience an awesome quality of sleep in the process.
Sounds pretty amazing, right? On the surface, I would agree. I mean, like I said in the intro, I’m all about finding, sharing and even applying a good sleep hack, chile. Problem is, when it comes to sleepmaxxing, some people are becoming obsessed to the point where they are either applying too many hacks at one time (which is where the Aristotle quote fits in quite nicely) or they are engaging in something that just might be your something new for the day: orthosomnia. And what exactly does that entail?
Orthosomnia is what happens when someone becomes so consumed with their sleep habits and patterns that they end up bringing some sort of tracker into the mix in order to keep up with recorded data when it comes to how they sleep. And although it’s not considered to technically be a type of sleep disorder (at least, not yet), it is something that medical professionals are keeping a tab on because many people are having their sleep — and ultimately the state of their health — disrupted because of it.
And if someone can become close-to-obsessed about a sleep tracker app, it’s pretty feasible that the same thing could happen with sleep hacks, in general — especially since some medical professionals believe that certain sleep hacks are more like a crap shoot than anything else. Ones like what? Well, I recently read a TIME article on the topic (here) and it said that while sleeping in a cool(er) and dark room, wearing a sleep mask, and reducing your screen time before turning in all get the thumbs up, consuming certain foods or drinks, showering before bedtime and incorporating certain (white) noise machines still need a bit more looking into.
I guess, chile. As someone who takes her own quality of rest pretty damn seriously, I think that even the “iffy” hacks should be tested out — just probably not all at once. I also think that you shouldn’t simply apply what everyone else is doing just because they are doing it; instead, think about what your personal sleep needs and goals are, incorporate tips that complement those, go through a process of elimination (as far as what is truly effective for you) — and voila! No “sleepmaxxing” per se, just a sleep routine that you can feel really good about.
7 Effective Ways to Get Some Quality Sleep
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While I was reading another article on sleepmaxxing, I must admit that I rolled my eyes when I saw tips like taping your mouth shut (that doesn’t even sound safe, to be honest), damn near overdosing (not really but…) on kiwi and wearing blue light glasses. However, those things did remind me that there are some sleep-related tips that I can personally vouch for — ones that you can easily incorporate, are not overwhelming and actually make a good amount of sense.
1. Choose a pillow that complements your sleep position(s). I’ve got an ex who once told me that, as a father, he’s come to the conclusion that there is no need to spank a child — all you’ve got to do is take their pillow away (“They will be miserable, tossing and turning all night long.”). I’ve thought about the nights when my pillows weren’t feeling the most comfortable and he ain’t neva lied! That’s why my first recommendation would be to get a pillow that best suits you, especially when it comes to your favored sleep position(s). You can read more about how to figure out which one to select here and here.
2. Do not eat or exercise less than two hours before bedtime. Something that I had to stop doing? Eating right before bedtime. My body needs to rest and, making my digestive system go into overdrive while I am trying to sleep — that ain’t the move. That said, although it kind of depends on what you eat (more on that here), it’s a good rule of practice to stop consuming foods about two hours before turning in. The same pretty much goes for exercising as well (more on that here) — although things like yoga can sometimes prove to be helpful.
3. Sip on some Korean banana milk. Bananas contain magnesium and that’s a nutrient that helps to relax your nervous system. Milk has tryptophan and melatonin in it — both of which are bona fide sleep agents. If you combine these two things together, there’s a good chance that they might have you in a deep state of sleep all night long. That said, a way to blend the two together is to make some of your own Korean banana milk. You can try out this recipe here (P.S. If you want to try a milk alternative, almond milk has tryptophan in it and hemp milk is packed with melatonin). Thank me later.
4. Get into some scented silk sheets. What you sleep on/in definitely plays its part in all of this. My recommendation, especially during the warmer months, is to go with some silk sheets. They’re comfortable. They’re hypoallergenic. They’re a breathable fabric. They don’t wrinkle easily. They help your hair and skin to retain moisture, and they also are a “natural insulator” which means that they can help to keep your body cool in the spring and summer and warm in the fall and winter. And if you sprinkle an essential on them that promotes rest — like lavender, cedarwood, chamomile, bergamot, or marjoram — you will relish each and every moment that you are rolling around, blissfully so, in that bedding of yours.
5. Use your blue-blocking options. It’s been said a billion times in dozens of different ways that the blue light that comes off of your screens isn’t good for your sleep patterns. So, if you’re someone who has the habit of checking your phone right before and/or after a bathroom run in the middle of the night, consider using your blue-blocking phone options. Apple users typically have a Night Shift setting on their phones while Android users have a Night Light one. You can read how to find them and utilize them here.
6. Journal three things before turning in. While on the surface, it might seem like journaling before bedtime is simply signing up to do more work, plenty of intel says that it can be quite beneficial; that’s because you can get some things off of your chest and/or organize your thoughts and/or think about how you would like the following day to go — and all of these things can help to de-stress you. My two cents would be to consider journaling about three things, at least a few times a week: something that you learned for the day, something that you are grateful for as far as the day is concerned, and something that you’re proud of as you come to the end of the day. It’s pretty hard to not have a restful mind if you “shut it down” for the night on these notes.
7. Rub some CBD oil on your feet. And finally, CBD oil. Although this “hack” definitely has the Aristotle quote written all over it, so long as you don’t apply huge doses, CBD can be of great assistance as far as your sleep quality is concerned. One way is by massaging the soles of your feet with CBD oil. The massage alone will help to relax you and the oil can bring relief to bodily pain and help to improve your quality of sleep.
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Sleepmaxxing. Eh. The thing about trends is they tend to come and go. Now that you know what it’s all about, though, if one of the hacks that you see interests you, try it. More than anything, to me, sleepmaxxing is just a reminder to not be passive about getting the kind of rest that you deserve.
And if that requires implementing a few tips to get it…so be it, sis.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
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Unmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
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Okay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
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If off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
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A friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
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It’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
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I once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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It’s probably been over the past 2-3 years that I’ve become hyper-focused when it comes to applying certain chemical exfoliants known as acids to my skin. Personally, I’ve come to really appreciate ones like mandelic acid and hyaluronic acid because they have a way of softening my skin, brightening it up and really evening out my complexion overall.
In fact, on my skin, they have been so effective that they have caused me to wonder what would happen if I applied some of them to my hair too — and boy, was it an experiment that paid off big time!
If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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