

What Is Human Design & How To Use It To Increase Intimacy
For some time now, the Human Design (HD) System has been picking up mainstream traction! And like so many other explorative journeys, the concept of Human Design took off via social media. Similar to Astrology, Human Design requires your birth time and date, and it also provides a map of sorts to help you navigate this world with purpose while being uniquely you (and tapping into your purpose). In fact, if you desire, the information can work simultaneously with Astrology.
The Human Design System is comprised of four different archetypes: Manifestors, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. And the first step is figuring out which archetype you fall under, which you can do here. In order to get a better understanding of what Human Design is, we spoke with Human Design experts and hosts of DayLuna Human Design Podcast, Dana Stiles and Shayna Cornelius. Because I’m certain there will be burning questions surrounding love and HD, the DayLuna co-creators also share the best way to use the concept to deepen our romantic connections.
So, how can this information help you connect more intimately with your partners? Well, as excited as we are to share, we should begin by giving you an expert definition of Human Design and go from there.
What is Human Design?
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Though some refer to Human Design as ‘the new Astrology,’ Dana and Shayna expound on the definition, explaining, “Human Design is the science of differentiation. It is a modality that shows us how we are uniquely designed, how we are meant to use our energy in a different way than other people, and what our unique gifts and life purpose is.”
Furthermore, the co-creators add that it “pinpoints the way in which our energy flows as an individual while offering strategies and insight on how to use our energy correctly so that we can find personal alignment as we live our unique life purpose.”
The composition or roots of HD are a combination, utilizing ancient and modern sciences. “It synthesizes wisdom from the Chinese I-Ching, Western Astrology, Hindu Chakra System, and the Kabbalah Tree of Life and integrates this wisdom with Genetics, Quantum Mechanics, Astronomy, and Biochemistry,” they add.
How Human Design Works Similar To and With Astrology
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Earlier we discussed very briefly that there are similarities between Human Design and Astrology and that the two could even be paired together. Dana and Shayna highlight this similarity further by saying, “Like Astrology, Human Design can tell you about your personality and how you operate, however, it is much more specific and detailed because it breaks each zodiac archetype down into smaller traits, which you may or may not have depending on your chart.”
They continue, “Understanding what your Human Design gifts are in these placements along with your own North and South Node zodiac placement is powerful in understanding your life purpose!” Our life purpose is something so many of us are in constant search of, which is why we even find ourselves drawn to religion, Astrology, or Human Design to begin with.
As humans, we are constantly in search of something “more” that informs us of why we were placed on this planet. And we do this to initiate and cultivate day-to-day guidance on the way to finding answers to our questions.
Human Design + You, Me & Intimacy
Now that we know how Human Design can help us connect more deeply with ourselves, how does HD help us flourish in our external relationships? In a nutshell, the answer is self-love but with HD we can get more specific about what that looks like…thankfully. If you’ve ever been told to love yourself as the solution to finding romantic love, you know how batshit crazy the standalone advice without any guidance can be. But because HD goes in-depth, it can help you get to the bottom of what that may look like for you and how to best honor that.
When discussing the best way to elevate relationships using HD, Dana and Shayna pointed out that “understanding yourself, how you best operate, and how you are interacting with other people around you is so important when it comes to conscious relationships. Awareness always has to start with yourself. When you fully understand yourself and what alignment looks like for you, you can then understand others and release judgment and comparison.”
“This leads to more self-love and love for others. If you are struggling in a relationship, we invite you to get clear on who you are and how you best make decisions that are energetically correct for you (your HD chart can show you how) and then start making decisions within your relationship in this new way! This is the fastest way to transform any relationship in your life and even attract your dream partner.”
HD works by helping you to honor yourself first or so it seems. The one place that it differs from how we (mainstream culture not to be confused with experts) have begun to discuss Astrology is that no archetype is to be villainized. That said, there is no such thing as dating the wrong HD profile. According to our experts, you simply learn what and who feels in alignment with you, your truth, and your journey.
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“There are no Human Design charts that are better or worse when it comes to pairing/partnership. Human Design teaches you how to become your own authority in life and how to feel when something is in alignment for you or not. You then can make your own decision on if someone is right for you or not and trust that the truth you are feeling is energetically correct for you. Understanding your partner's chart is huge in understanding how you are both different/similar to each other. The best way to navigate any obstacle will become crystal-clear with this awareness.”
Additionally, the expert co-founders shared that there are three types of “connections” that you may stumble upon “depending on your charts”:
- Electromagnetic spark connection: You feel the chemistry when you are together, fireworks, and a sense of the feeling of "you complete me."
- Friendship connection: You have a lot of similarities in your charts and you feel a sense of "you get me."
- Dominating connection: One person leads in this area and the other follows and that feels good for both of you.
The two add that this just scratches the surface of how you may be connecting with your partner as you may have a combination of all three.
According to the experts, similar to humans, Human Design is complex and therefore deeply profound when you discover yourself through this system. As much as we seek out love, every piece of wisdom left behind for us indicates that the work begins and ends with us. By no means is this saying you must be healed and whole before you find love, but that you must be aware and have insight into yourself to even begin to know what you’re looking for when it comes to love.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
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Chief Mom Officer: 23 Quotes From Working Moms Finding Their Balance
The truth is, Black moms create magic every single day. Whether we're juggling motherhood with a busy 9-5, a thriving business, or staying at home to run a household, no day is short of amazing when you're managing life as a mommy. This Mother's Day, xoNecole is giving flowers to CMOs (Chief Mom Officers) in business who exemplify the strength it takes to balance work with motherhood. We've commissioned these ladies, who are pillars in their respective industries, for tidbits of advice to get you through the best and worst days of mothering. Here, they share their "secret sauce" and advice for other moms trying to find their rhythm.
Emmelie De La Cruz, Chief Strategist at One Day CMO
"My mom friends and I all laugh and agree: Motherhood is the ghettoest thing you will ever do. It's beautiful and hard all at the same time, but one day you will wake up and feel like 'I got this' and you will get the hang of it. After 4 months, I finally felt like I found my footing to keep my kid and myself alive, but it took vulnerability to take off the cape and be honest about the areas that I didn't have it all together. The healing (physically and emotionally) truly does happen in community - whatever and whoever that looks like for you."
Alizè V. Garcia, Director Of Social & Community Impact at Nike
"I would tell a new mom or a prospective mother that they must give themselves grace, understand and remember there is no right way to do this thing and have fun! When I had my daughter three and a half years ago, I was petrified! I truly had no clue about what to do and how I was going to do it. But with time, my confidence grew and I realized quickly that I have all the tools I need to be the mother I want to be."
Nikki Osei-Barrett, Publicist + Co-Founder of The Momference
"There's no balance. I'm dropping sh*t everywhere! However, my secret sauce is pursuing interests and hobbies outside of what's required of me and finding time to workout. Stronger body equals = stronger mind."
Lauren Grove, Chief Experience Architect, The Grant Access, LLC
"I try to give myself grace. That’s my mantra for this phase of motherhood…grace. I won’t be able to get everything done. To have a spotless house. To not lose my cool after an exhausting day. Those things can’t happen all of the time. But I can take a deep breath and know tomorrow is another day and my blessings are more plentiful than my pitfalls."
Rachel Nicks, Founder & CEO of Birth Queen
"You have the answers within you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Curate your life to work for you. Ask for help."
Tanisha Colon-Bibb, Founder + CEO Rebelle Agency + Rebelle Management
"I know love doesn't pay bills but when I am overwhelmed with work or client demands I take a moment to play with my baby and be reminded of the love, energy, science, and Godliness that went into his birth. I am brightened by his smile and laugh. I remember I am someone's parent and not just a work horse. That at the end of the day everything will work out for the good of my sanity and the love within my life."
Christina Brown, Founder of LoveBrownSugar & BabyBrownSugar
"Learning your rhythm as a mom takes time and can be uncomfortable when you’re in a season of overwhelm. Constantly check in with yourself and assess what’s working and what’s not. Get the help you need without feeling guilty or ashamed of needing it."
Mecca Tartt, Executive Director of Startup Runway Foundation
"I want to be the best for myself, my husband, children and company. However, the reality is you can have it all but not at the same time. My secret sauce is outsourcing and realizing that it’s okay to have help in order for me to perform at the highest level."
Jen Hayes Lee, Head Of Marketing at The Bump (The Knot Worldwide)
"My secret sauce is being direct and honest with everyone around me about what I need to be successful in all of my various "jobs". Setting boundaries is one thing, but if you're the only one who knows they exist, your partners at home and on the job can't help you maintain them. I also talk to my kids like adults and let them know why mommy needs to go to this conference or get this massage...they need to build an appreciation for my needs too!"
Whitney Gayle-Benta, Chief Music Officer JKBX
"What helps me push through each day is the motivation to continue by thinking about my son. All my efforts, though exhausting, are to create a wonderful life for him."
Ezinne Okoro, Global Chief Inclusion, Equity, & Diversity Officer at Wunderman Thompson,
"The advice I received that I’ll pass on is, you will continue to figure it out and find your rhythm as your child grows into new stages. Trust your nurturing intuition, parent on your terms, and listen to your child."
Jovian Zayne, CEO of The OnPurpose Movement
"I live by the personal mantra: 'You can’t be your best self by yourself.' My life feels more balanced when I offer the help I can give and ask for the help I need. This might mean outsourcing housecleaning for my home, or hiring additional project management support for my business."
Simona Noce Wright, Co-Founder of District Motherhued and The Momference
"Each season of motherhood (depending on age, grade, workload) requires a different rhythm. With that said, be open to learning, to change, and understand that what worked for one season may not work the other...and that's okay."
Janaye Ingram, Director of Community Partner Programs and Engagement at Airbnb
"My daughter's smile and sweet spirit help me to feel gratitude when I'm overwhelmed. I want her to see a woman who doesn't quit when things get hard."
Codie Elaine Oliver, CEO & Founder of Black Love
"I try to listen to my body and simply take a break. With 3 kids and a business with 10+ team members, I often feel overwhelmed. I remind myself that I deserve grace for everything I'm juggling, I take a walk or have a snack or even head home to see my kids, and then I get back to whatever I need to get done."
Jewel Burks Solomon, Managing Partner at Collab Capital
"Get comfortable with the word ‘no’. Be very clear about your non-negotiables and communicate them to those around you."
Julee Wilson, Executive Director at BeautyUnited and Beauty Editor-at-Large at Cosmopolitan
"Understand you can’t do it alone — and that’s ok. Relinquish the need to control everything. Create a village and lean on them."
Salwa Benyaich, Director Of Pricing and Planning at Premion
"Most days I really try to shut my computer off by 6 pm; there are always exceptions of course when it comes to big deals or larger projects but having this as a baseline allows me to be much more present with my kids. I love the fact that I can either help with homework or be the designated driver to at least one afterschool activity. Work can be draining but there is nothing more emotionally draining than when you feel as though you are missing out on moments with your kids."
Brooke Ellis, Head of Global Marketing & Product Launches at Amazon Music
My calendar, prayer, pilates class at Forma, a good playlist, and oatmilk lattes all help get me through any day.
Courtney Beauzile, Global Director of Client and Business Development at Shearman & Sterling
My husband is a partner who steps in when I just can’t. My mom and my MIL come through whenever and however I need. My kids have many uncles and aunts and they will lend an ear, go over homework, teach life lessons, be a presence or a prayer warrior depending on the day.
Robin Snipes, Chief of Staff at Meta
"Enjoy the time you have to yourself because once kids come those times will be few and far between."
Monique Bivens, CEO & Founder at Brazilian Babes LLC.
"For new moms, it is very important that you get back into a habit or routine of something you use to do before you were pregnant. Consider the actives and things that give you the most joy and make the time to do them."
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