A couple weeks ago, xoNecole published my piece about the cold world of singledom, and thousands of you felt that in your chests! Many co-signed with having done so much internal, and soul expanding inner work, and being ready to find a vibrational match!
Well, I took it upon myself to connect with 8 #MCM worthy men, who will not only cheer you up, and help you hold on to that #BaeGoals faith...but they'll also warm things up with their divine masculine charm, and appealing transparency!
This list will give all my Single Ladies the scoop on up and coming millennial #MCM snacks that will be flooding your timelines if they aren't already! Hold on to your ovaries ladies, this read will jumpstart your week!
1.Marshall Price
His name is Marshall Price, he's originally from Harvey, Illinois and currently living in Dallas, Texas. He's a model and actor making moves in the industry.
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"What I look for most in a woman is her personality and goals. If she doesn't have anything going for herself then I can't be around. I'm a pretty busy guy, so if you're not doing nothing, or you're not doing your passion, it wouldn't work."
His Ideal Date is...
"My ideal date would be bowling, then Shellshack, followed by a walk on a pier, and comedy club."
Photo by: Jarriel Jones
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"I would say my originality makes me attractive. I'm an old soul, so I like to enjoy classic R&B music sometimes."
2.Everette Taylor
Everette is originally from Richmond, VA and is currently based in downtown Los Angeles. He's a serial entrepreneur at heart and has started several companies over the past 10 years. He's naturally a passionate person and enjoys seeing people he cares about be as successful and happy as possible, and he goes above and beyond to make that happen. Ultimately, he's passionate about art, creating generational wealth within the black community, building great products, mentoring youth, and helping those less fortunate than himself.
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"Can we laugh together? There's nothing more that I love to do than laugh. A great sense of humor is a must and just a generally positive and joyful person. Energy is important. I look for ambition and the refusal to settle for mediocrity. Someone who just doesn't have dreams, but follows through. I look for someone who wants to build their own legacy and can stand on their own too, with or without a man."
"Outside of that, I look for someone level-headed, intelligent, willing to compromise, and believes in something bigger than themselves."
What His Ideal Date is…
"My ideal date is anything that's optimized for great conversation. That means no movies, loud bars, etc. With a focus on conversation, we leave the bullshit at home. No masked ulterior motives or disingenuous intentions. Just a transparent and free-flowing conversation with in depth answers and lots of laughs."
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"Such a hard question for me to answer because I know that it varies depending on the person and in a superficial world, success tends to attract a lot of people for the wrong reasons. Mama ain't raise no fool though. With that being said, I do believe emotional intelligence is something that works in my favor in terms of attraction. I'm hyper aware of emotions and energy from others. I pride in myself in being able to cater to that. Not in a fake way, but a compassionate and thoughtful way. I personally think that's my most attractive quality."
3.Jéan Elie
Jéan Elie is an actor and content creator from Brockton Massachusetts living in LA. You've probably seen him on Insecure playing Issa Rae's petty younger brother, Ahmal Dee. His passion is creating content that elevates the underrepresented and the understanding of relationships, mental health and growth.
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"I look for women that can take a joke and just live in the moments."
What His Ideal Date is…
"My ideal date is a random outing after lunch where we just go wherever and do whatever moves us."
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"Y'all going to have to answer that one for me. My mother told me never to talk about myself like that."
Related: 'Insecure' Actor Jean Elie Talks Infidelity, Expectations and Why He's Team Lawrence
4.Lawd P
He goes by the name Lawd P, and is a hip hop musician, creator, and entrepreneur. He's currently building a lifestyle brand called Soullennial, which is centered around a distinct music culture. He's created his management company to incorporate new ideas in owning and capitalizing off our creativity. He is passionate about music, teamwork, and love.
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"A woman has to be wise. Completely trustworthy, and can lead the initiate through the process to show her man the other side. The other side is connecting with a woman physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually."
What His Ideal Date is...
"My ideal date is Smorgasburg at Prospect Park. BYOB, picnic, and you have food vendors. Everything you need all in one space. I believe in killing two birds in one stone." [winks]
Photo by: Rashida Zagon @sheedaz
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"I believe what makes me attractive is that I always find a way to go back to joy. I'm all about positivity, jokes, trust and affection. I always find a way to connect and understand a woman's perspective without my ego in the process."
5.Tyler Lepley
Tyler Lepley is known for being an actor and he's most passionate about finding different mediums for self-expression.
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"I meet lots of beautiful women who seem to be on autopilot. So one thing that keeps me interested is a woman with a specific point of view."
What His Ideal Date is...
"My ideal date is anywhere near a bucket of crab legs! It's always easier to vibe when the eating is good."
Photo by: Eric Michael Roy, Stylist: Paris Libby
Related: Actor Tyler Lepley on Breaking the Stigma of Black Men and Therapy
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"Whether or not I'm attractive isn't for me to say, however, I have a passion for developing myself, and although I have feelings of insignificance at times, I do believe that through my gifts I can impact the world; and that's beautiful."
6.Terry Omi
Terry Omi holds a MBA in Business Management & Leadership and also a BS in Human Services. He has gained career experiences working in the pharmaceutical industry specializing in dermatology medication, as well as in the social services industry, working with substance abuse population, HIV/AIDS population, college prep programs, child welfare, and also as a counselor for teens in need of anger management services. In addition, he has career experiences as a media correspondent/journalist, which has led him to interviewing hundreds of business leaders, celebrities and entertainers, such as Sean "Diddy" Combs, Chris Brown, Jennifer Lopez, Migos and more!
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"The main things I look for in a woman is the fear, love, and passion for GOD. Someone who loves and appreciates her family, someone who is fuuuuuuun, open-minded, educated, creative, wise, self motivated, and is able to inspire and connect with me in many ways. It also helps if she takes pride in her appearance, is a good dancer, enjoys exercising and we're both into similar music."
What His Ideal Date is...
"My ideal 1st date would involve hearing some good music, eating great food, laughs and being in a space where we can comfortably talk and learn which ways we're able to connect and relate to one another."
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"What makes me attractive is my love for GOD, my ambition, and the fact that I can relate to people very easily."
7.Jayson Aaron
Jayson Aaron was born and raised in Los Angeles. He's an artist intent on creating things that will have a positive impact on culture.
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"If I'm interested, I'm looking at how she literally and figuratively moves through a room, her smile, sense of style, and our ease in communication. Can we be honest, can we be friends?"
What His Ideal Date is...
"Get fly, explore whatever city that we're in for a while, eat some great food, then go dance somewhere playing Afrobeats (laughs)."
Photo by: Renee Wootsen @iironic
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"What I hope people notice is my vibe. Good energy is important to me."
8.Jonathan Henderson
Jonathan is a graphic artist from New York and a Senior Manager at PF Changs on Long Island. Graphic design is his passion and he's been doing it for the past 13 years. He owns a graphic design business specializing in flyers, logos, business cards, album cover artwork, and photography. He got into modeling to mainly learn more about photography. His end goal is to end up in the entertainment industry as a graphic artist and personal photographer - and he's open to acting gigs too!
What He Finds Attractive in a Woman:
"I look for smart, educated, and independent women. I love a challenge, not one that makes it too easy for me. The older I get, the more open I become to all different types of women."
"If the vibe is there, that's all that matters."
What His Ideal Date is…
"I'm pretty simple with dates. Let's go out to a nice restaurant, grab a drink or bottle of wine, have good conversation - not all up in our phones the whole time. I've been on dates where the girl will be on her phone the whole time, and any time I tried to hold a conversation, she somehow made it about herself. That's a turn off to me. I'm all about learning about the woman I'm dating, but not when they're full of themselves. Confidence is sexy, cockiness is not."
Photo by: Marvin Bienaime
What Truly Makes Him Attractive:
"To me, I was pretty hit growing up. A lot of people use the 'Steve Urkel to Stefan' reference, but I stay very humble at the end of the day. I feel my ambition, drive, and work ethic is what makes me attractive. I like to make people laugh and always keep a positive vibe. Also inspiring others to follow their dreams and never give up no matter what setbacks get in the way. I live by the saying, 'Every setback is a set up for a major come back.' Looks aren't everything at the end of the day, but I will admit my family got some good genes...I can't complain about that! (Laughs)"
Featured image of Marshall Price by Melissa Allison Photo
Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
So…apparently, there was once a Parade survey of 1,001 married Americans concerning sex.
Surprisingly (at least, to me), 88 percent of them said that their sex lives made them happy or they were at least “reasonably content” with it. The reason why that surprises me is because 1) I’m aware that somewhere around 15 percent of marriages are currently sexless; 2) only about half of people have sex on a weekly basis, and 3) if that many folks are indeed that satisfied in the bedroom, why do so many of us who work with long-term couples always hear otherwise?
Then, I paused and pondered on the “reasonably content” part. I don’t know about you, but to me, that doesn’t sound like hanging-off-of-the-chandeliers kind of sex. That’s more like, “I’ll take it however and whenever I can get it” sex — and, in my eyes, that’s just not good enough. To me, sex is a beautifully wondrous thing that should reach the peak of pleasure as much as possible.
Fortunately, I do know a few couples who profess to have great (awesome, fabulous, and tremendous) sex pretty much every time that they have it. Even though most of them aren’t familiar with each other, interestingly enough, they all agree that while skill and technique play a role in amazing coitus, there are other factors that can prevent great sex from transpiring, too.
I did some researching, interviewing, and reviewing of past sessions that I’ve had with couples, and here are the 10 things that continue to come up, as far as being barriers to the kind of sex that every single person deserves — sex that doesn’t just leave you feeling “reasonably content” (goodness, let’s raise that bar, please).
1. You’re Not the Best of Friends
GiphyBefore getting into this one, let me just say that I’m not referring to a “friends with benefits” dynamic. Although some of those do end up transitioning from being sex buddies to a full-blown relationship, some studies say that only about 15 percent of them do, and that’s not the greatest odds on the planet (for the record, around 28 percent are able to go back to being just friends as well).
No, what I’m referring to here is it’s wise to experience physical intimacy with someone who has the qualities of being one of your absolute closest friends: they’re honest, supportive, compassionate, loyal, communicate well, and they definitely are someone who you consider to be a safe space. When you’re in a relationship with someone who you also consider to be one of your dearest (if not dearest) friends, there is an incomparable level of trust and peace that makes intimacy that much easier — and special.
2. You Need to Get a Check-Up
GiphyIf you were to ask a group of people if they should get an annual check-up, they would probably say “yes.” Hmph, problem is, only about one-fifth of us actually do it, and when it comes to our libidos, that can be (potentially) problematic as hell. The reason why I say that is sometimes “not being in the mood” has very little to do with anything emotional, psychological, or relational; it’s actually a result of not taking the best care of your health.
Things like obesity, hormonal imbalances (including perimenopause and menopause), certain medications, stress, and good old-fashioned aging can be the underlying culprits, and if that is indeed the issue, as much as you might think that Google can cure everything, you actually need a medical professional to confirm what is going on — and what you need to do in order to rectify the situation.
3. You’re Not Affirming and Affectionate on a Daily Basis
GiphyQuestion: When was the last time that you gave your partner a sincere compliment? Believe it or not, there are studies that support the fact that complimenting others not only boosts their self-esteem and confidence levels but it also creates an atmosphere for clearer communication while motivating and causing the individual on the receiving end to feel valued. Not only that, but the person who gives the compliments ends up feeling happier and more grateful, too.
As far as affection goes, aside from the fact that it helps you to feel emotionally closer to your partner, there are health benefits to consider as well. Kissing, cuddling, and even holding hands can help to decrease stress levels, lower blood pressure, and even strengthen your immune system. The way I like to look at this is affirmations are a verbal form of foreplay, while affection is a PG version of it — and when it comes to experiencing great sex, foreplay should always be in the mix.
4. You Don’t Plan Dates (and Then Actually Go on Them)
GiphyI’ve got a girlfriend who’s been married for several decades and hardly ever gets taken out on dates by her husband. In his mind, it’s kind of a waste of money; he’d rather be a “great provider” than a romantic kind of dude. Problem is, her top love language is quality time, and so, not dating frustrates her more than most. You know what, though? Their story isn’t rare. In fact, some studies indicate that over half of the married couples in this country never go out on dates. SMDH.
There are dozens of reasons why this is not a good idea as far as “divorce-proofing” your marriage goes; however, since this article is about sex, specifically, quality time strengthens emotional intimacy, and emotional intimacy improves the quality of one’s sex life. So, if you’re in a long-term relationship, your sex life is ho-hum, and you can’t remember the last time you and your partner actually went out together — perhaps it’s time to connect those dots.
5. Your Relationship Is Not Your Top Priority
GiphyIf I had to choose one main issue that keeps me in business (as far as marriage life coaching is concerned), it’s that one or both spouses in a marriage “forget” (I put that in quotes because sometimes they literally forget and sometimes it’s more of a passive-aggressive choice) to make their partner their very top priority (under God, that is). When it comes to this particular topic, a priority is defined as being “the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence” and when you say “I do” to someone, that is a part of what you are publicly declaring — that they are going to take precedence over everyone else in your world.
And what are some indications that your partner is your top priority? You are proactive rather than reactive when it comes to their needs. You are quick to want to resolve problems while being slow to create them. You consistently want them to feel heard, validated, and safe. You make them aware that they are a part of both your short and long-term plans. Empathy is a foundational part of the relationship. And honey, when two people do this for each other outside of the bedroom, how can there not be fireworks inside of it? Straight up.
6. Your Kids Are Taking Over
GiphyI always find it interesting whenever people get triggered by my saying that children should never come before marriage. For one thing, the marriage existed first. Secondly, kids aren’t adults; they don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to find balance in their needs or demands; adults need to be the ones to regulate both. And third, have you read how divorce affects/impacts kids even well into their adulthood?
At the end of the day, children want happy parents and there’s a greater chance that will happen when husbands and wives put their relationship first. Unfortunately, even with all of the data that supports my points, a lot of people still let their kids take over their entire lives — including their bedroom and that can lead to, not only a “less than” sex life but a completely ruined one, if you’re not careful.
That’s why I think it’s important for parents to read articles like HuffPost’s “We Decided To Tell Our Kids When We’re Having Sex. Here’s Why — And What Happened After.” and also ones that I’ve penned for the platform like, “Married Couples, Here's How To Make (More) Time For Sex,” “How To Make Sex Easier (& More Fun) When You've Got Kids” and even “10 New Moms Share What They Wish They Knew About Sex Post-Delivery.” The takeaway here is kids are to be a part of your life — not all of it.
7. The Chemistry Is Off
GiphyChemistry is an interesting thing because, although it is pretty necessary when it comes to having a fulfilling sex life, science is still trying to figure out just how to narrow it down. According to a particular article that I read, a featured sex therapist said that sexual chemistry is a combination of attraction, hormones, and even a combination of pleasant memories and/or nostalgia. Another article said that the level of brain chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine that naturally arise when we’re around certain people (vs. others) cannot be underestimated either.
To me, when it comes to (sexual) chemistry, I think my biggest takeaway is if there is something that you can’t really fake, that would be it, and so, while you shouldn’t rely on chemistry alone when it comes to cultivating a healthy and long-lasting relationship, if, after about three dates or so, there is no “spark,” don’t play that down. Sex is an essential part of a committed relationship, which means that chemistry, on some level, absolutely needs to be present and accounted for.
8. There Is Sexual Frustration
GiphyWhenever I hear someone say, “I’m not angry; I’m frustrated,” I always appreciate that level of self-awareness because being frustrated isn’t about being resentful so much as it’s about being disappointed — and sexual disappointment can happen in a billion different ways. Maybe the quality of sex has decreased. Perhaps you’re not having as much sex as you would like. Could it be that you want more spontaneity or romance, and your partner rarely, if ever, seems to rise to the occasion? Or shoot, maybe your sexual wants and needs have changed, and your partner doesn’t want to make the necessary adjustments.
A part of the reason why I’ve penned articles for the platform like “7 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Before Giving Them Some” and “9 Sex-Related Questions You & Your Partner Should Ask Each Other. Tonight.” is because the only way that you can ensure that your partner is truly satisfied as far as sex goes is if you ask. When it comes to great sex, there is no room for ego, assumptions, or taking the “if it always worked, it still should” approach. People who move like that? One way or another, they are going to disappoint their bae as far as sexual satisfaction goes (whether their bae actually tells them that or just…fakes through it instead).
9. Or Sexual Repression
GiphyOn the heels of the last point, one of the reasons why sex is considered to be an ultimate form of communication is that when it’s good — and I mean, really, really good — all five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and sound) are involved (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”). Another reason is that when you can trust your partner to share your deepest sexual desires and perhaps even a sex-themed bucket list or entries from your sex journal, that can open the door to all types of sexual pleasure…and close the door to what’s known as sexual repression.
Probably the easiest way to define sexual repression is it’s what happens whenever you’re holding back feelings and longings as far as sex is concerned. There are several things that can cause this to transpire. It could be fear of rejection, suppressed childhood or religion-related issues, guilt or shame surrounding certain sex acts, or even physical pain during sex.
For instance, I know a wife who was raped in college and never told her husband. For years, they had sex-related issues because it’s almost as if she was stoic during the act, which led him to not find sex enjoyable at all because he felt like he was unwanted. I also know a wife who, because she is a first lady (you know, a pastor’s wife), has suppressed a lot of her sexual fantasies because she’s afraid that her husband will find them to be “inappropriate.”
In both of these instances, a sex therapist could do a lot of good (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”) because they are professionally trained to deal with all levels of sexual repression — something that is very real, even if it’s not openly discussed very often.
10. Orgasms Consume You
GiphyDo you need to experience orgasms in order to have good sex? No. You don’t. Can it be magnificent whenever you experience them, though? Of course. That said, when it comes to having great sex, although orgasms are literally defined as being the peak of sexual arousal, it is important to take the pressure off of both you and your partner. Contrary to whatever you’ve heard (or told yourself), sex can be pleasurable whether you reach a climax or not, together or not.
However, if you want to have more orgasms, don’t make them the goal so much as heightening your intimacy, taking your time, relishing in each other’s erogenous zones, doing some dirty talking, and being in the moment. When you’re “great” at these things, one way or another, great sex — and possibly a few orgasms along the way — is sure to follow. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy