The Marathon Continues: Everything You Missed At Nipsey Hussle's Celebration Of Life
Almost two weeks ago on March 31, 2019, at 3:55 p.m., Nipsey Hussle was pronounced dead. That day, the city of Los Angeles lost a leader, three children lost a father, a mother lost her son, and Lauren London was forced to say goodbye to the love of her life. Senseless violence has been a problem in communities of color for decades, and the death of Nipsey Hussle is proof that we can no longer procrastinate when it comes to change.
In a true act of unity, thousands of people gathered at the Staples Center in Los Angeles to celebrate the life of the gone-too-soon rapper. The last time that the 21,000-seat arena hosted a funeral was 10 years ago for Micheal Jackson's homegoing, and tickets to Nipsey's free-for-all memorial service sold out in 20 minutes. Thursday, friends, family, and fans alike packed out the venue and showed the world that thanks to Nipsey, the Marathon will continue.
If you weren't able to make it to Nipsey's Crenshaw-style celebration of life, here's everything you missed:
It Was A Family Affair
Along with words from Nipsey's children and brother, Mama and Daddy Hussle also had a few words to say on behalf of the man who they raised to later be a legend in the Crenshaw community. Mama Hussle, or Angelique Smith, revealed that she hadn't slept well for weeks leading up to Nipsey's death, and when she got that fateful phone call from the Los Angeles police department that Sunday, she knew why. Although she will never be the same after the loss of her son, she can't be more proud of the legacy he left. She told he told the audience:
"We have to be the light of change that we want in the world. I'm very proud of my son. My son, Ermias Joseph Asghedom, was a great man."
Lauren's son, Cameron, brought the crowd to tears when he shared a dream that he had only days after his death. He explained:
"I was in paradise and I was playing in the ocean water when Ermias popped up right behind me. He said, 'What's up, kiddo?' because that's my nickname to him. I told my mom about the dream and … I realized that Ermias told me what heaven was like. He told me it was paradise."
He continued:
"In the morning Ermias would say 'respect' at my window – so on the count of three I want everyone to yell 'RESPECT!'"
Real tears y'all. Real. Tears.
Stevie Wonder's Performance Was Destiny
"My procedure, stay crackin till my life's low / Then when I die, blue rag around my rifle / Hundred-thousand in my coffin, that's just life though / Play a Stevie Wonder song, smoke some flight, bro / Crack a pint of Actavis then pour in some Sprite, bro / Until that day I'm walking toward what's in my sights, though."
Nipsey Hussle rapped these lyrics in a song on his 2016 mixtape "Slauson Boy 2", and in a very eerie way, was foreshadowing his own death. In an effort to pay tribute to the Crenshaw native, Stevie Wonder was there to play a song and bring this Slauson Boy's story full circle. Before performing a 2-song medley of "Rocket Love" and Eric Clapton's "Tears of Love", Stevie had an important message for the audience in reference to senseless gun violence:
"We, to be a civilized nation, civilized world, we still are living in a time where ego, anger, jealousy is controlling our lives. It is so painful to know that we don't have enough people taking a position that says: 'Listen, we must have stronger gun laws. It's unacceptable. It's almost like the world is becoming blind. I pray that we grow; I pray that the leaders who have a responsibility to perpetuate life will do it by making sure that the laws will make it so very hard for people to have guns and to take their frustrations out."
Star-Studded Tribute
Along with Stevie Wonder, a number of other stars showed major love at the Crenshaw rapper's memorial service. Along with Jay-Z, Beyonce, Teyana Taylor, and Snoop Dogg, Barack Obama himself even wrote a letter sending his condolences to the late entrepreneur's family. In an emotional message read by Karen Civil during the service, President Obama wrote:
"While most folks look at the Crenshaw neighborhood where he grew up and see only gangs, bullets, and despair, Nipsey saw potential. He saw hope. He saw a community that, even through its flaws, taught him to always keep going."
"His choice to invest in that community rather than ignore it -- to build a skills training center and a coworking space in Crenshaw; to lift up the Eritrean-American community; to set an example for young people to follow -- is a legacy worth of celebration. I hope his memory inspires more good work in Crenshaw and communities like it."
Lauren's Tribute Was The Epitome Of Strength
Our heart truly goes out to Lauren London, who has handled this horrible tragedy with so much grace and resilience. I could only imagine losing the love of my life so suddenly and unexpectedly, and that's a loss that no amount of condolences can make better. She told the audience:
"I had to write something because I've never felt this type of pain before. His soul was majestic. He was the strongest man that I ever knew. He was brilliant. He researched everything; completely self-taught and always seeking knowledge."
"My pain is for my 2-year-old, who probably won't remember how much his dad loved him. I'm so honored and blessed that I got to experience such a man."
At the funeral, Lauren also read an emotional text that she sent Nipsey before his passing in a tribute that will give you all the feels. The text read:
"I've learned so much about myself with you. You've been my turn-up and my church. I wouldn't want to go through this journey with anyone but you. I look up to you in a lot of ways, and I strive to educate myself like you have. When we are at odds, I feel defeated and sad, knowing that we are so much better than that. I just want you know that you've been the greatest boyfriend to me. You aren't perfect, but I would never ask you to be. You and I work. We fit. And you're the coolest guy in the world to me. Still. I love you so much, unconditionally. I'm never gonna give up on you. My love and my devotion is to you."
In honor of Nipsey, Lauren also got a tattoo on her forearm to ensure that he's with her wherever she goes, forever. She wrote on Instagram:
"Real Love Never Dies. When you see me, you will always see him #LoveYouHussle #TMC"
The City Of LA Showed Up In Style
In honor of Nipsey's death, for the first time in 27 years, the Los Angeles Bloods and Crips made a truce. This truce marks the first ceasefire since the Rodney King riots and was organized as a tribute to the love that the late rapper brought to the city. Gang leader Big U told Instagram:
"We're having a gang truce and a gang rally so all the different gangs from LA can get together and celebrate the life and the gift of Nipsey. There's a lot of people who said they wanted to get together and come to a vigil and pay respect because Nipsey was the first real LA artist that was from LA."
Rest in Heaven, Nipsey. Thank you for your service to our community and for being a true role model. Nipsey was so much more than a hometown hero, he was a nationwide icon and he won't be forgetten.
Featured image by Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images