

We all know Chrissy Teigen to be a model, host, cook, author, and John Legend's wife. She's fierce, outspoken, and charismatic. But what we didn't know was how her words have affected others publicly and behind the scenes. We never knew her to be a bully. Celebrities like Michael Castello and Courtney Stodden have come forward with bullying accusations against Teigen. Y'all, since when did Chrissy become a social media troll? Her words, not mine. Over the past few months, social media users have not let her antics die down. Chrissy has been held accountable and has made it publicly known that her behavior was unacceptable. And because of the ongoing accusations and public commentary, Chrissy Teigen is now canceled.
So, how did this bullying scandal come to be? And, why is it still a topic of discussion? Well, let's look at some key facts and the timeline of events. Chrissy's past seemed to have crept up on her. Because what is done in the dark, always comes to light.
Chrissy Leaves Twitter
Chrissy Teigen had just quit Twitter pic.twitter.com/MPxqLQmi5M
— Peter Hoskins (@PeterHoskinsTV) March 25, 2021
Back in March, Teigen decided to leave Twitter claiming to be a target of social media trolls. This is when allegations started to come to light about her mean girl ways. The break would only last about three weeks, but she tweeted at the time:
"For over 10 years, you guys have been my world. I honestly owe so much to this world we have created here. I truly consider so many of you my actual friends. But it's time for me to say goodbye. This no longer serves me as positively as it serves me negatively, and I think that's the right time to call something.
"I encourage you to know and never forget that your words matter. No matter what you see, what that person portrays, or your intention. For years I have taken so many small, 2-follower count punches that at this point, I am honestly deeply bruised."
Courtney Stodden Speaks Out
Shortly after Chrissy's exit, her accuser Courtney Stodden shared their past in a series of screenshots of previous messages between the two. Hashtagging Chrissy as a bully. In April 2021, Teigen returned from her social media break and reemerged on Twitter. Triggered, and with full transparency, Stodden let us know just how to hurt she was over Chrissy's comments.
"She wouldn't just publicly tweet about wanting me to take 'a dirt nap' but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself." "I can't wait for you to die."
Courtney Stodden reported her truth this past May in an interview with The Daily Beast.
Countless Apologies
After the interview was live, Chrissy released a public apology to Stodden.
"Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bulls–t in front of the entire world. I'm mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention-seeking troll. I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel."
The amount of backlash received over Chrissy Teigen's social media messages and comments forced her to issue a second statement in June. This time apologizing to any and everyone else she may have hurt. This includes Michael Costello and Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham. Chrissy refers to her behavior as a "mistake" as she wishes Courtney happy healing in May 2021.
Sidebar: Is bullying considered a mistake though when you're a whole grown adult? I mean, either this is who you are, who you have always been, or there are some deep-rooted issues involved.
Suffering the Consequences
It was reported in June of this year Teigen decided to leave season two of Netflix Show Never Have I Ever. It was also announced that Chrissy decided to step away from a cleaning supplies company she launched earlier this year as well. Since then, Chrissy has issued several public apologies on different platforms. Chrissy Teigen is now canceled and officially a part of the cancel club.
Chrissy Adds Fuel To The Fire
Earlier this month, Teigen has denied accusations that she deletes negative comments from her Instagram posts. Say what? As reported byPage Six, Chrissy states:
"People in my comments that are mad that there's not enough angry comments in my comments. They think that I like delete them. But like, what?"
Why is Chrissy deleting comments? Is she deleting the comments so she doesn't react? It's hard to say and who knows?
And because of her bullying behavior, Teigen admits that she is trolled by other users regardless for the type of content she posts. Though, she masks her reaction to accusations as "funny", it looks like social media gave Chrissy a taste of her own medicine. She doesn't like it either. As a result, Teigen has come to the conclusion that it's best that she doesn't get involved in anyone's shit ever again.
Social media won't let up, but the reality is there is no coming back from events like this. Bullying or any type of public hate-related commentary just doesn't subside after five months. It's something people do not easily forget. We now live in a world that has become intolerant of bullying, toxic behavior, and phobias. Apologies won't make up for the years of pain Teigen has inflicted on people. Apologies only have meaning for so long. A real apology is changed behavior.
I think we forget the tongue cuts just like a knife. Precise, sharp, and cold. We forget that words are everlasting.
With that said, I want to remind y'all that what people say to you or do to you, publicly or privately, has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. One hundred percent of the time, they are projecting their issues onto you.
Their words and actions are a reflection of them.
Never you.
Featured image by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Global Citizen VAX LIVE
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
____
Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Unsplash