I’m Thankful I Was Chosen To Be The Mom Of My Special Needs Son
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer. If you have a story you'd like to share but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact us at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for your story to be featured.
This is Ebonie Baxter's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
My son is five years old and he's had over 100 bone fractures.
Yes, 100.
Byron Baxter Jr. entered this world in 2014, through emergency C-section, just in time for the new year. He came in fighting at six weeks premature, under four pounds, and had two broken legs, a broken arm, and a fractured rib.
My husband and I were so afraid. And not only because of his birth complications, but we just weren't sure if he would survive at all.
I was still pregnant when doctors told us Byron would be born with a disability. But to be honest, I took it all with a grain of salt. I had suffered five miscarriages in the past and doctors said that I wouldn't be able to have kids anymore—I was just happy for the chance to be a mother again. Despite my excitement, my husband and I knew that we would have to dedicate ourselves to Byron's needs.
He spent 6 tough weeks in ICU when he slowly began to show signs of improvement. He was such a trooper. And although his hospital stay was overwhelming for my husband and I, we continued to put forth our best efforts to remain positive.
Byron was formally diagnosed with Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a condition also known as Brittle Bone Disease. It's a rare disease that causes his bones to fracture and break easily.
Think of him as a thin layer of glass, or very fragile glass, that requires mindful handling.
Courtesy of Ebonie Baxter
Many, many days and nights were spent researching and preparing for him; expectations and best advice. We didn't have many outlets outside of our doctors, so online research became our go-to. We made it our sole business to care for, and protect, Byron however long God allowed us to (which according to doctors, wouldn't be long).
And before we knew it, due to his increasing progress, we were discharged and headed home.
Adjusting to home life was difficult. We could no longer rely on the comfort of the hospital as our bedroom, and we had to work out best practices on our own.
By the time my youngest son, Blake, joined our family, we had mastered our rhythm. Blake entered this world without any complications, so even though he's younger, he's often confused as the oldest of the two. As he's grown, we've explained to him the importance of being careful with Byron due to his fragility. And he has grown to be such a great little brother to him—sometimes even I'm surprised by his gentleness. Their relationship is so precious to me, a different kind of love.
As for Byron, Byron is a character! I mean, you guys see it, he's so full of energy and light. He's positive and loving; always happy. He has the heart of a lion and is literally the bravest person I know. And he loves WWE. We monitor everything he watches because he's such a sponge, but he has some of his funniest moments when watching. There's this saying that some of the wrestlers say, "You need an attitude adjustment." When Byron feels that someone is grumpy around him, out of nowhere he'll say "You need an attitude adjustment" in his cute little voice.
I love his little voice, I can always hear it.
My background isn't as colorful, but I wouldn't change it. I was born and raised in NYC, now residing in Georgia. I met my husband 8 years ago and we've been teammates ever since. I've turned lemons into lemonade more than I even care to count—probably more than the average, and I'm appreciative of all my life's experiences, good or bad. Other than that, I'm just a regular mama bear and wife who loves her family.
Courtesy of Ebonie Baxter
Our lives changed when one day, I decided on a whim to upload footage of Byron—just to showcase the joy we experience from him everyday. His videos started to go extremely viral; they gained more and more views, and before we knew it, our family had created an online community of over 1.3 million cyber aunts and uncles.
The world fell in love with my baby the way that I have. And now people are just happy to have the access to his journey everyday.
With this, comes its own unique sets of challenges. As much of the good we experience, we also have to take on the bad, and adjusting to the attention has been testing at times. It's funny because my husband says I am intense when it comes to my family—and he's absolutely right, I'm not a passive mom. I've had moments where I've had to request new doctors and nurses when the ones working with him weren't up to standard. I've had to frantically ask fans who were only excited to meet Byron, not to touch him if they see us out or at family events. And I've had to dismiss negativity on a daily basis. It's all in stride, of course, many have incorrect assumptions. But because we have so much going on behind the scenes that we don't show, my understanding of how this online world can be, keeps me focused on my family.
To take time for myself, I seek refuge in my bathtub. I'm a firm believer in soak therapy; it can be the cure for a hectic day. I love taking time for myself for all the various self-indulgence and vanity interests that us ladies enjoy. But mostly my happiness comes from simply being thankful that my children are such beautifully happy children, and that they are afforded the experience of having the proper childhood that I never had.
Nothing is greater.
I'm often asked what life will be like for Byron as he gets older and transitions into adulthood, and my response is always the same: Life will be great.
Being a special needs mom means being someone that's always aware, and someone that's the first to advocate for them. It doesn't matter if anyone has doubts or feel that they can speak on any of their obstacles. As long as your child is protected, safe, and full of love, let everyone know that for your baby, life will be great.
So, moms, aunts, grandmothers, and anyone who's blessed to care for a special needs child, count on God. Or count on whatever higher power you believe in to make the best decision for your child. Be their voice, even if it makes you look crazy. Doctors told us that Byron would be deaf. We told them he would hear pins drop. They told us he'd be blind. We told them he would have the sight of an eagle. They said my baby wouldn't make it.
We said...just watch.
To learn more about Osteogenesis Imperfecta, you can visit the OI Foundation. To keep up with the Baxters, follow them on Instagram or visit their website.
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
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DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
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Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing:Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl:Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
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Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
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Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence'sinaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
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Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
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Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
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Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
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Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
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Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
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Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
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Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
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AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
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Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl:Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
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Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
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