

Loneliness can feel louder than usual, more intense, more suffocating. I was all of a sudden really aware of the ache between my thighs and how cold the other side of my bed felt. Moments later, a text to my phone let me know that I wasn't alone at all. My ex was lonely, too.
That's why I was here, seated awkwardly on his couch with the neck of my bottle of beer grasped tightly in my hand, legs crossed, I was a picture of discomfort as I tried to find ways to sink into that groove of connecting I loved so well. His conversation was beginning to tire me, it felt like he was trying to win me, and it was a feeling that left me perturbed. Our 11:30 text conversation, if it said anything worth note at all, should have at the very least let him know he had already won. I was here, wasn't I? I stood up from my position on his couch. “I don't want to talk anymore. I'm tired of talking. I've talked so much today…"
I watched him watch me as I lifted the hem of my skirt just enough to move to comfortably position myself over his lap, my legs at either side of his thighs. "Too much."
I opened the buttons of my blazer to expose myself to him and the air. He was still watching me. Maintaining the eye contact I had with him, I leaned forward and whispered against his lips, “Touch me."
He surrendered to my desires, pressing his lips urgently against mine, frantic. His tongue gained entry almost immediately after and through sucking and rolling, tangled with mine. His hands burned as they ran up and down the length of my body, grabbing at every curve. I moved rhythmically against him, gasping sharply at the feel of him through his jeans. He was hard for me, and the thought was enough to make me smirk. I wanted to feel more.
I ran my fingers through his short dark head of curls as he began to kiss and bite along the length of my neck. My hands made their way to the seat of his jeans, unbuttoning its snap, unzipping its zipper. The pressure on my neck grew more intense, the kisses more languid, the bites a little harder. He was warm and large in my hands. His dick felt like a welcomed contradiction: impossibly hard like steel but soft like satin. I could hear the sharp intake of his breath on my neck as I felt him. I could hear his moan of weakness as I held him tighter. For a while I played with him, running my hand up and down his shaft repeatedly. It was a ride made easier by the precum spilling from its tip. He was wet for me and I for him.
He brought his fingers to my mouth and I opened it for him, sucking on them slowly because I knew what he planned to do with them. I felt him push aside my panties and insert one of his fingers inside of me. I moaned at the feel of being filled, clenched my teeth at the way he bent it while inside of me. Then, he added another.
My moans grew louder as his fingers picked up speed. I barely had my breath, my body lost in the sensations of his feverish attack. I had forgotten about his pleasure and concentrated solely on my own, but he didn't seem to mind as he watched me come undone. And when I did, I had no time to question it, catch my breath or thank him like I wanted to. He was already biting open the gold wrapper of the condom. Long gone was the emptiness I felt as he positioned himself at my entrance and guided my hips to fill me completely.
[Tweet "I could only feel him, I could only hear him, and at the moment it was all that mattered to me."]
I could only feel him, hear him, and at the moment it was all that mattered to me. He let out a soft moan as he smacked my ass repeatedly. “This shit is too good," he breathed against me. God, I could hear the deepness of his voice against my neck. His hot breath felt like fire on my skin. A shiver ran down my spine, and I swore I could feel it echo through my core.
I moaned and leaned forward, crashing against his chest. I felt him tugging at my blazer, dragging it off my body, pulling it off my skin. Felt him pushing the cups of my bra over my breasts and his mouth hungrily laving each one. I continued to ride him, grinding on his shaft and enjoying the way I felt all of him inside of me each time I moved down. God it was coming again, too quick. I tensed. “Please, please, please, please, please, please, please," I whispered in his ear in rapid succession. A theatrical mantra.
“Please what?" He asked me, as if he didn't know. He liked confirmation to fuel his ego. I'm never too proud to beg, not when I'm filled like this.
“Make me come."
His hips pushed up against mine to meet my frantic rhythm, pounding up into me relentlessly. His hands were on my hips, helping me keep up with his movements. Both of our moans grew louder by the minute. He was there, too. I could feel it. I stilled completely as he continued to pound into me, crying out, then his orgasm quickly followed. I fell against him and listened with my eyes closed at the way the both of us tried to catch our breath. The clock in his living room was ticking as his hands moved languidly against my back.
I like this dance we do. We couldn't make it work in love, but we could always connect in these moments, knowing one another's bodies like they were the back of our own hands. The fact that that chill of loneliness had been banished at the arrival of his body entering mine meant that I could never deny my hotline going bling. Not when it was him at the other end of the line.
That time and every encounter thereafter always left me with the most relaxing feeling, like a long exhale of breath you had no idea needed a release until you let your guard down long enough to admit to yourself it would always be him. I could never deny myself access to his type of air or regret the fact that I've allowed myself to breathe – that's how vital our lovemaking can sometimes feel for me. I think if you're an adult and the relationship you and your ex shared was an otherwise healthy circumstance, ex sex can be a great one-time thing or even a string of encounters until you've met someone new or are truly ready to close the book on that chapter of you and them. Be wild, be at peace, make love. Ex sex had its perks and our encounter was yet another ode to the fire we make.
Who knows? This chapter probably won't be our last…
[Tweet "Ex sex had its perks and our encounter was yet another ode to the fire we make."]
How do you feel about ex sex? When was the last time you partook in a little ex action? Share with me below!
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
We Thought All-Inclusives Were Boring Until We Found These Twin Jamaican Gems
I’m not your typical all-inclusive resort girlie—especially for a couple’s trip. My man and I usually hop from one Airbnb or boutique hotel to the next, cooking our own meals, and chasing off-the-beaten-path adventures. But after eight years of host ghosting, catfish listings, and DIY travel stress, we decided it was time to switch gears. Our latest Jamaica baecation was the perfect excuse to give an all-inclusive resort a fair shot.
We landed on Couples Negril and Couples Swept Away—two Jamaican family-owned sister properties nestled in western Jamaica. With Caribbean roots dating back to 1949, this wasn’t just any chain resort—it had legacy and soul. And honestly? It was the reset we didn’t know we needed.
What made it even more special? We were back in the place where we first fell in love, now creating new memories in the same sun-drenched paradise. From booze cruises, pickleball matches, and wellness shots, to alluring late-night jacuzzi rendezvous, soul karaoke, and far too much champagne mixed with tequila, to really good jerk chicken and repeat-visit-worthy Asian cuisine, bae and I had a time.
Couples Negril And Couples Swept Away: Twins On The West Coast Of Jamaica
And it’s fitting that we visited in June (which is considered low season—a time when there are less travelers and better deals) because these sister resorts are like Gemini twins that embody two distinct sides of the same spirit.
Set between Negril and Hanover, Couples Negril is the social butterfly, full of energy and artistic flair; Couples Swept Away is the introspective dreamer, grounded in nature, wellness, and tranquility.
While they’re quite opposite in vibe, they’re united by a shared history and reflect the classic Gemini duality: light and shadow, play and peace, expression and reflection.
Bae’s Favorite: Chic, Modern, And Cozy At Couples Negril
Couples Negril Suite
Courtesy, Couples Negril
Bae’s favorite was Couples Negril—which has more than 230 rooms and spans 18 acres—for its mix of entertainment, modern minimalist vibes, and a diverse crowd of couples. He especially loved Otaheite Restaurant with its low-lit red velvet love seats and dishes meshing luxury with traditional island flavors (like the merlot stewed rabbit served with coconut polenta and the filet mignon with the jerk glaze.) And he lives for hearing me sing, so the piano bar was our jam.
We also spent lots of time at the beach bar, one of five on the property, snacking on fish tacos and sipping margaritas just steps from our suite.
We saved the rum for the included catamaran cruise (book ahead!), which came with endless punch and views of Negril’s West End—a fave spot of ours. Couples Negril made the all-inclusive life feel surprisingly easy and fun.
The property also features a treehouse spa, two pools, four jacuzzis, an au naturale beach (whew, chile!), and sports facilities. Everything was easy to access—the layout felt cozy and well-organized, making it simple to move between activities and amenities. At this resort, you can really have some grown-and-sexy fun without it feeling like a raunchy spring break episode of Couples Gone Wild.
My Favorite: Private, Classic Charm, & Nature Mystique At Couples Swept Away
Couple's Swept Away Suite
Courtesy, Couples Swept Away
While I loved Couples, once we stepped over to Couples Swept Away, the lush nature set on 19 acres won me over. This twin, which has 312 suites, 7 restaurants, 8 bars, 3 pools, 5 jacuzzis, and a spa, leans into intimacy and seclusion, and I felt like we had more privacy and room to explore–just the two of us—at this property. The rooms are rustic-luxurious, dressed in island cedar, with classic shutters and expansive verandahs that have hammocks where you can enjoy bright flora, the sounds of exotic birds, and the sea views.
The absence of TVs—along with its tropical fantasy allure— meant a 10 out of 10 experience for me. This resort invites couples to breathe deeper, slow down, and truly get to the core of intimacy, all within the hum of nature.
There were hidden enclaves with dipping pools, jacuzzis, open-air cafés, and quiet corners where you can sit by ponds filled with fish and bird watch (or have a little sneaky link with bae!)
One of my favorite stand-out amenities at this resort: the 10-acre fitness complex just a short walk across the road from the main property where I’d have my early-morning me-time while bae slept in. It has 10 tennis courts, squash and racquetball courts, a fully equipped gym, and a wide range of wellness and fitness classes are held there. I also enjoyed turmeric and ginger shots at the wellness bar.
Other standouts for food and nightlife included Lemon Grass (where you can enjoy Asian-inspired food and listen to the live music coming from downstairs), the chic Patois Bar (which was the late-night hotspot overlooking one of the pools and serving your usual bar fare like burgers and quesadillas—felt like we were at a Miami nightclub), and the Aura Bar (where bae sang with a quintet of other slightly drunken men and where we did the cliche but super-lit millennial couple thing: danced the night away to Top 40 hip-hop, salsa, and rock classics).
The Patois Bar
Courtesy, Couples Swept Away
Baecation Tip: Just be sure your partner packs a few linen or dress pants, loafers or soft dress shoes, and a few button-down shirts for the restaurants that require reservations. Also book your table and all-inclusive excursions in advance (or on the first day you arrive at the resort).
All in all, this resort-hop wasn’t the stifling, prison-in-paradise all-inclusive experience I remembered from the Jamaica family vacations of my youth. It also wasn’t the stereotypical AI disaster of bland food, lackluster customer service, and senior citizen activities that many complain about on social nowadays.
Both resorts offered a fresh take on luxury, great food, and good vibes—all without losing the intimacy we craved. All-inclusives might not be our every trip vibe, but for this chapter? It was exactly what we needed, and we look forward to making repeat bookings at both Couples Negril and Couples Swept Away in the future.
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