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New Music Friday: Here's Your Weekend Playlist
Despite 2020, and the beginning of 2021, being the endless dumpster fire that it was, we have to admit one thing: it did a hell of a thing for one's creativity. With all the time in the world to be stuck at home, musicians put paper to pen, voices to mics, and now we can reap the benefits of its creative wonders. Kicking the summer off right, artists have released new music to fit all of your sunny adventures.
Whether you're looking for a song to bring in the morning ("Formwela 4"), revive your day ("Tonight Tonight"), or one to close out the night ("Thot Shit"), this week's new releases are sure to keep you moving:
1.H.E.R - "We Made It"
If anyone is said to be having fantastic 2021, it has to be her—excuse me, H.E.R. Between the Grammys and the Academy awards, H.E.R. has been coming out with one bop after the next. "We Made It" naturally has H.E.R. spend some time basking in that glory. While it is possibly a love song that H.E.R smoothly sings to lover, I like to think of it as something that she sings to close friend, or family member. She has spent sleepless nights working and slaving for this career she has created. Along the way, the people who loved her have been her confidants and support. Now that she has made it, she wants them to know that she couldn't have done it without them.
2.Megan Thee Stallion - "Thot Shit"
Straight out of the rejuvenation pod, and almost college, is Meg on her "Thot Shit." Similar to her lively singles before, "Thot Shit" requires open space, good knees, and the ability to move your hips. With a fast triplet flow, Megan Thee Stallion raps about embracing and feeling herself, while telling those who don't "f" off with all disrespect. With over 8 million views on YouTube, "Thot Shit" came out just in time for the hot girls to return to the summer's dance floor.
3.Amindi - "Haircut"
Come on, I have that moment. You have that moment. Oh, you know the moment when you just got hair done and your feeling yourself. Whether it's braids, locs, wigs, perms, or just a simple "Haircut," you start to look at yourself with a new glow and whimsy. Amindi is no different. Just getting a haircut with a "fade down to the sides," Amindi sings laxly with a lullaby-like ease. Feeling self-confident, Amindi openly loves herself. So much so, that she takes herself on a date and offers the treatment she hopes others would offer her. Nevertheless, instead of doing so mournfully, she seems just happy enjoying her own company.
4.Celeste - "Tonight Tonight"
Celeste. Celeste. Celeste. You've done it, again and then some. If you don't know who this artist is, it's about time you do. After the sultry ballad "Strange"received recognition on Apple's Ted Lasso, Celeste is back with a new single from the album Not Your Muse. Unlike "Strange," "Tonight Tonight" is a wonderful sultry track that feels like a delightful groove from the past. Although, that does not negate the new age spin that Celeste has added to her repertoire. Tell Alexa to play "Tonight Tonight" and sway those hips.
5.Jon Batiste - "Freedom"
This song makes me want to slide throughout my living room in a shimmy, funk fashion. It makes me want to shake, wobble, and hop around erratically despite those watching. Maybe it's because Jon Batiste is sporadically and happily dancing around the city. Maybe it's because it is nice to see a Black man enjoying himself while singing about feeling of being carefree with oneself. Maybe it's because the song feels like freedom. Whatever it is, it's simply delightful and a must to add to the beginning, middle, and end of your summer playlist.
6.Ivy Sole - "Dangerous"
Aside from Tierra Whack and Chika, there hasn't been anyone more slept on than Ivy Sole. Here with her single "Dangerous," Sole raps and sings with the flow and realizations of a 90's poet. With melancholy lyrics, "Don't have to love me back/You know that I'm dangerous/Lord knows, I'd do me bad," Ivy Sole discusses the process of "embracing the shadows" while internalizing "a deep acceptance of [her] wholeness as modeled through the radical love and care [she] received from [her] community of Black revolutionaries, Black queer people, and Black healers." The song features R&B/Soul artist Kingsley Ibeneche.
7.Esperanza Spalding - "Formwela 4"
Created in her Songwrights Apothecary Lab, an experimental space that seeks exploration of music and musicianship as means of healing, Esperanza Spalding and Corey King release their newest single, "Formwela 4." When asked about her inspiration for the song, Esperanza says that the song is meant "to remind listeners that loving and self-giving are not individual undertakings; that even in the most intimate circumstances, ancestors and earth's support forces are in attendance, for the honoring of their beauty via the truth of how you really are, and what you really need." The song is nearly five minutes of pure musical healing. With the gentle picking of King's guitar, rustling of the wind and leaves, and Spalding and Kings soulful voices, close your eyes as you enjoy the warm summer sun against your skin.
8.Diana Ross - "Thank You"
Just a couple of days ago, Diana Ross announced that she would be releasing her first single in 15 years, titled "Thank You." With just an eight-second sample, "Thank You" seems like another summer bop to add to the playlist. With the hopeful lyrics, playful piano, and air-like vocals, Diana's Ross's single "Thank You" is a great song to play on your road trip with the ones you love.
9.Polo G & Nicki Minaj - "For the Love of New York"
It is highly unlikely that Polo G and Nicki Minaj's "For the Love of New York" will be the song of the summer or overplayed in the clubs. Though, this is not a knack on what the song is, but of what it is not. Despite being used to the club anthems by the two, this song flows on top of a Caribbean island-like beat that allows for relaxation and appreciation that a club song would not. Nevertheless, the song is not as calming as one would think, well into the song, it is quickly noticed that Polo G is like just any other guy out there. Aware that he is messing with someone's emotions, he seems incapable of stopping himself from making "heartless" mistakes. Which only forces Minaj to experience the consequences of those decisions when she is left broken and alone.
10.Amber Mark - "Competition"
The video: art.
The artist: under-appreciated.
Amber Marks has arrived with her newest single "Competition." "Competition" talks about Mark's desire to put the people that she cares about on the map. Instead of seeing them as competition, she sees them as allies, people who she is willing to help, if only they are willing to accept it. Whether she is singing that it is not a competition because she believes that they can succeed together, or that she is in a league of her own, "Competition" is a song that requires every bit of your attention. It's catchy. It's a vibe and its visual is just so damn nice to look at. This might not be a competition, but if it had been, Marks definitely has her eyes on the grand prize.
Featured image via Giphy
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
10 New Moms Share What They Wish They Knew About Sex Post-Delivery
Back when I was the teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit organization, I decided to become a doula. One reason was that I couldn’t stand how disrespectfully dismissive a lot of doctors were towards pregnant teenagers (how you gonna pre-schedule C-sections in girls who are in their first trimester?). My second reason was to do some healing from my own past pregnancy choices (check out “Why I Named The Children I Aborted”). Over time, another reason was that when a woman has a child, she needs support for more than just birthing her baby.
Take her sex life, for example. Although some women have a pretty thriving sex life throughout their pregnancy and, after their six-month check-up, they resume having sex relatively smoothly then as well, for other women, their experience is quite different. And because sex, post-delivery, still (amazingly) remains a taboo topic on a lot of levels, other (new) moms suffer in silence because they feel like they are alone.
That, right there, is why I decided to sit down with some mothers to have them share what they wish someone had given them the heads up on when it comes to sex after having a child. If you are a mom who’s having some challenges in the bedroom, hopefully, this will assure you that others get exactly where you are coming from. If you’re not a mom (yet), my goal is that you can get an idea of some things that could possibly happen — so that you can surround yourself with the support that you need (i.e., a girlfriend, some other new moms, even a counselor, if necessary). That way, you can do what needs to be done to get your sex life back (or right) to where you want it to be…in time.
*Middle names are used in this type of content so that people can speak freely*
1. Bevelynn. 28. Mom of a Six-Month-Old Daughter. First Child.
“The weirdest thing for me is there are certain positions that can always make me cum that were super uncomfortable throughout most of my pregnancy. So, it felt like I was having sex for my partner instead of with him. Then, after having the baby, my man was so used to hurrying through sex because that’s how I was while pregnant that he felt self-conscious that I was trying to ‘coach him’ through foreplay like he wasn’t a good lover.
"You know how they say that sex, after abstinence, is like riding a bicycle? The hell you say! There was a lot to relearn that it was almost like having sex for the first time again. Pretty much a year of sex being one way and then adjusting to something else will do that to you. We’re still figuring it out.”
2. Embree. 34. Mom to a 11-Month-Old Son. Third Child.
“I never had postpartum depression, thank God. I did go through a long sex lull. I love my babies, Lord knows that I do, but you don’t really get just how much sex creates them until you have them, if that makes sense. Being a mom is fulfilling and draining — any woman who says otherwise isn’t taking her role as seriously as she should. And when you sit and realize that kids can’t exist without sex, you have moments when you’ll avoid having it at all costs because you don’t want to risk what comes from it — another baby. And that’s just the truth.”
3. Gail. 37. Mom to a Four-Month-Old. Third Child.
“Please don’t give your husband a hard time about getting used to your new body and hormonal changes during sex. It might be popular to act like men shouldn’t have a say in giving birth or what comes with it, but science says otherwise, and while they’re supporting you through your changes, they might end up going months without intimacy — no man wants that. The more talks [that] you have about sexual needs and expectations before getting pregnant, the better. Remember that he is a part of all of this, too.”
4. Quincee. 32. Mom to a One-Year-Old Daughter. First Child.
“I was told that I should get a doula before having my daughter, and I should’ve listened because it makes no sense to push out a baby on your back. My friends who had doula assistance learned positions that were way more helpful. Since I didn’t and my daughter, although I love her dearly, has a really big head, I tore pretty badly. The healing process was borderline hell but, more than anything, I had some PTSD about allowing any — and I do mean anything — from going into my vagina.
"I don’t care if it was a penis, a sex toy, or even a tampon, I was traumatized. Get those perineal massages before giving birth, squat during labor, and get a man who loves oral sex, both ways, so that you both can get through the adjusting. That’s the best advice that I can give on it.”
5. Francis. 30. Mom to a Seven-Month-Old. Second Child.
“You might need to see a sex therapist after having children. It might sound crazy, but no one talks about how having a baby changes everything about you — every single thing. My husband has always been able to please me, and he’s not small in the least, but after having our first child, my vagina never felt the same. That kept me from feeling the same pleasure, which made me want to have sex less and even resent him for not being able to please me like he used to.
"We tried to figure it out on our own, but that started to affect his self-esteem, and then we weren’t having much sex. My girlfriends had some of the worst advice, so I spoke with a marriage counselor who referred me to a sex therapist who helped me to understand the transitions of motherhood, sexually. It’s one of the best things that happened to our relationship. My best advice is nothing is fully ever the same after a baby — sex, for me, was on top of that list.”
6. Erda. 25. Mom to a Three-Month-Old Son. First Child.
“Being a mom is hard as sh-t — do you hear me? I am terrified of getting pregnant. I don’t mean any time soon; I’m contemplating being done forever because my pregnancy was difficult, and my son thinks that we all should be up all day and all night long. People keep telling me that this will pass, but until it does, whenever I see my husband’s penis, it’s like ‘enemy #1’ in my eyes. We can do some oral action; I’ve always been about that. But if he wants to put that thing in me, I always want him to put on three condoms — I’m NOT playing.”
Shellie here: As a doula, I’ll be checking back on her in six more months or so. Something tells me that this will have a bit more balance in the narrative. Those first few months can be a mutha, indeed.
7. Laurelle. 39. Mom to a One-Year-Old. Fourth Child.
“Even after having four kids, I never got used to my breasts being available to everyone. Mine, then my husband and mine, and then, for a season, my kids — and then sometimes everyone’s. Our two first children were less than two years apart, so I swear that my husband didn’t get to touch my breasts for like three years straight…and he’s a breast man! I don’t think anyone can fully prepare you for how to be a momand a sexual being at the same time. It’s one of the hardest things about motherhood to date.”
8. Iris. 30. Mom to a One-Year-Old. Second Child.
“Your erogenous zones might change. Mine did. I used to not be a breast person, but I started having orgasms while breastfeeding, which kind of creeped me out but then it made me want my breast played with more than ever during sex with my man. The other thing is my thighs got pulled on a lot during labor, and so, I’m kind of jumpy when my fiancé reaches out for them now — and he’s a thigh man. Having a child isn’t just a miracle because of the baby. Being able to figure out a new normal in the bedroom is a miracle, too, sis.”
Shellie here: If you can relate to what Iris just said about climaxing while breastfeeding, there is no reason to feel embarrassed or guilty.Breastfeeding tends to produce some of the same hormones that come from sexual stimulation — for instance, remember that oxytocin is a bonding chemical.It’s for this same reason that you might produce extra milk when you orgasm after having sex with your partner. It’s natural. It also tends not to last forever. It will usually pass.
9. Hope. 32. Mom to a Four-Month-Old. Second Child.
“The talk about the whole ‘Madonna-Whore’ thing that men may go through — you know, how once you become their wife or mother of their child, they have a hard time seeing you as a sexual being. Some of us go through that, too. I don’t have hang-ups about sex. I’m just not as nasty as I used to be. My body is used for so many different things now, and the fluids get all mixed in together — I dunno. Sometimes, when I’m about to show my porn side, I’m like, ‘Hold up — is this appropriate? I’m a mother now. It’s so complex, honey.”
10. Tateyana. 27. Mom to a Nine-Month-Old. First Child.
“I was told to get a co-sleeper and keep our baby out of our bed. I didn’t listen. I wish I had because now our bedroom is more like a nursery/daycare and it’s harder than ever to keep our son out of our bed — emotionally. My husband is patient; sometimes, he’s the one who wants our son to stay in the bed but we know that sex is an important part of marriage and we certainly didn’t sign up to be co-parents who are roommates. When they say that the bedroom is for sex and sleep only, the sleep part really shouldn’t be your children. They’ve got a room. They’ll be fine in there. We’re trying to wean him off now, so I’m preaching to the choir here. Sex after babies…it’s just so much.”
____
Sex after babies…it’s just so much. As you can see, sex, post-delivery can be layered, complex, and sometimes challenging. Still, if you have a partner who is understanding, if you’re patient with yourself throughout your transitions, and if you get that healthy intimacy has a mental, emotional, and spiritual component that can get you through all of the physical “growing pains” that you may be experiencing — sex after having a child can become richer, closer and even better with time.
After all, a new normal? Sometimes, it exceeds what you’ve been accustomed to.
And isn’t that something to look forward to when it comes to post-delivery intimacy? Definitely.
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