Made for Me NYC Keynote Fireside Chat with Naturi Naughton
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Made for Me NYC Keynote Fireside Chat with Naturi Naughton
Some may see romantic comedies and dramas as a guilty pleasure. But author Bolu Babalola indulges in the genre with no apology.
“I love romance,” Babalola tells xoNecole. “I’ve always consumed romance. I’ve always read romance. I’ve always written romance,” she says. “It wasn’t even a conscious decision, it’s just a part of me. It’s just what I enjoy reading.”
In her debut romance novel Honey & Spice, Babalola follows up her debut anthology Love in Colour by once again allowing her love for all things love to bloom into a world brimming with vibrant and lively characters. In Honey & Spice, we are introduced to the character of Kiki Banjo who Babalola describes as “the resident romantic adviser” at the university where Kiki also hosts a love advice radio show for Black women on campus called “Brown Sugar.” When a mysterious man arrives at the school and sows discord amongst the ladies, it threatens to undo the work that Kiki has put into trying to lead them all down the right path in their love lives. “A confrontation ensues, an entanglement ensues, and eventually they find themselves having to fake a relationship to save both of their reputations,” Babalola says.
Babalola says that creating Kiki allowed her to write about a Black female character that is flawed. “She is messy. And she is giving romantic advice to women at the university but she doesn’t have it figured out,” Babalola says. “And it was really freeing for me to write a young Black girl like that.”
Babalola is joining a recent wave of writers who are allowing audiences to embrace Black women to be their whole complicated and imperfect selves on screen and in books. Along with debut author Raven Lelani’s hit book Luster (that Babalola describes as one of the books that made her heart beat fast,) and Insecure’s Issa who Babalola describes as a “delight” and “messy.” “She’s so gorgeous, but she’s not exactly smooth,” Bablola says.
Of course, romance is one of the many genres that suffers from its share of anti-Blackness, both with who gets to write them and the kind of characters we constantly see being loved and desired. It’s the Julia Robertses and the Meg Ryans of the world who are seen as the kind of women that society deems to be worthy of affection. While those women as some of her fave on-screen leading ladies, she also cites Vivica A. Fox in Two Can Play That Game and multi-hyphenate entertainer and rom-com queen Queen Latifah who Babalola says is “beautiful, self-possessed, sexy, deep brown skinned, and fully aware of her beauty.”
During our conversation, I was reminded of when Toni Morrison famously said that she “wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it.” That was one of my favorite Toni Morrison quotes,” Babalola says when I brought it up to her. “It’s a compulsion. Maybe it’s a little bit narcissistic, but I love writing those stories for my younger self,” she says. More than just herself though, Babalola feels a sense of pride every time young Black girls tell her how much her work impacts them. “When they come up to me and say they felt seen, they felt held, ‘You made reconfigure my idea of romance, and gave me hope about it,’ that makes me really happy.”
Despite the cynicism that many critics have of the romance genre, Babalola says that she doesn’t let that impact her love for the genre. “I really believe that people who think love is a weak or frivolous thing are –” Babalola pauses for a second. “–I’m trying to say they’re dumb but in a nice way,” Babalola jokes. “They really don’t have an awareness of the kind of complexity that’s within that genre, what it takes to forensically explore emotions and human vulnerability.”
While binge-watching television when she was in university, she got the idea to expand her writing skills and her love of romance to the screen. Last year, the pilot for her 30-minute hangout comedy Big Age, aired on Channel 4 in the UK. It follows the life of a Black woman who quits her lucrative law job to pursue writing all the while juggling the prospects of a budding new romance and an old flame.
“I’m a storyteller,” she says when I ask her if screenwriting was always in her cards. “Books and novels were just the first things that I gravitated to because I read books so I’m gonna write books.”
Be it on screen or in a book, Babalola’s love for stories about love and messy Black girls will always find a platform.
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Saweetie
Saweetie Recalls Tough Conversation She Had With Her Parents About Her Childhood: ‘Lots Of Apologies’
19h
Saweetie’s style and relatable personality have made her one of the most popular female rappers out right now. While she has used her social media to help cultivate her brand, she also gives her fans a glimpse at fun moments with her family and friends. From getting glammed up with her mom, who is a former model, to attending NBA games with her father, who female fans have been pining over, Saweetie seems to keep her family around often. However, she recently revealed that wasn’t always the case.
The Grammy award-winning artist appeared on Kevin Hart’s Peacock show Hart to Heart where she opened up about her childhood and shared that she actually became close to her parents last year. “I was that kid in third or fourth grade. I had a key to my house and I would walk home, I would do my homework, clean the dishes, I would make my food,” she said. “I had been independent for a really long time.”
The “Icy Chain” rapper said that her parents worked a lot when she was a child and other family members would often take care of her. “My mom had me when she was 17,” she explained. “My dad was young too. They was just always hustling and working.”
She added, “They would always tell me we’re a team. In order for us to win, you have to do your part. So, my part was behaving, being responsible. I was like a little woman.”
The 29-year-old star admitted that she was constantly yearning for her parents when she was a child and when she got older, she finally disclosed her feelings about her childhood to them.
“I had this conversation with mom around the time that “Icy Girl” came out (in 2017) and then I had this conversation with my dad last year on my birthday,” she revealed.
In her conversation with her mom, she learned a lot about her mom’s life story which explained why she was so hard on the USC grad growing up. After having conversations with both parents, Saweetie said they apologized.
“Lots of apologies from them. They apologized for my childhood.” She concluded, “It meant a lot to me.”
Saweetie Full Interview with Kevin Hart | Full Episode Hart to Heart
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Featured image by Amy Sussman/Getty Images
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Are you 'Little Miss Never Knows What Design to Get'? It’s okay if you are because this is a safe space. We know that coming up with your next nail design can be as complicated as the Instagram algorithm these days. For me, getting my nails done and conjuring up a design has been a form of self-care and expression. With folks like Marsai Martin creating press-on nails that more than get the job done, the burden isn’t as heavy and there are some nail techs out here redefining what nail design means.
Take the talented and sought-after Tolani Rosa, a nail tech at The Laq Lab in Brooklyn. She uses her love for creation to curate the most beautiful nails you’ll ever see. Lucky for us, we got the chance to sit down with her to talk about nail design trends that we must try before summer slips away from us. "Mix [and] match nails would be number one on my list of trends right now," she tells xoNecole. "The girls are getting into having different designs on each finger which transcends all seasons depending on the colors used. Because the summer is the perfect season for fun nails, I’d encourage women to try it before fall.”
Courtesy of Tolani Rosa
When it comes to shapes, Tolani says the almond nail shape is by far the shape of the season, making it the top-tier shape for summer. “A few years ago I’d say it was a coffin [nail shape] but a lot of clients have been changing over. I feel like almond elongates the look of anyone’s fingers as well as its versatility in allowing you to choose a rounded almond or more pointy almond.”
And she’s spot on because during my visit to The Laq Lab she slayed a colorful, almond set for me. It’s one of those sets that have you looking at your hands every five seconds and using your fingers to point at unnecessary things non-stop.
Keep reading for more nail design trends Tolani recommends we try before the summer ends:
Colorful French Tip Manicures
Courtesy of Tolani Rosa
You deserve some creativity at your fingertips. And what better way to get creative than with the classic French tip style? The colorful French tip manicure is a favorite because of its nod to a never-fail manicure classic that offers a modern take that dares to be more daring and bold.
Bright Colors
Courtesy of Tolani Rosa
Speaking of color, the time is now for colors that are as bright as our futures. Tap into your inner child by playing with electric neons and soft pastels. Take your dip into the bright side of the nail color pool another step further by incorporating another summer nail trend. You can experiment with color while experimenting with mixing and matching, like the nails pictured above.
3D Nail Art
Courtesy of Tolani Rosa
It’s time to take your nails to another dimension by embracing more than vibrant colors. One of this summer's most beloved ways to rock an eclectic manicure is by adding a pop of dimension with 3D additions. From nipple rings to acrylic architecture, there is a slew of ways to make your nails elementally unique.
The Perfect Nude
Courtesy of Tolani Rosa
If despite all the colors, you're still in search of the perfect nude nails, there's a place for that in this summer's nail trends as well. A Black girl and her quest to find the right nude could be a best-selling mystery novel. But once you find it, you’re golden.
Which trend are you ready to copy and paste before September 22 when hot girl summer ends?
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Featured image courtesy of Tolani Rosa
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Celebrity News
Karrueche Tran Talks Learning Mindfulness: ‘I Can’t Do Everything. I Can’t Be Everything And That’s Okay’
09 August
From stylist to model to Emmy award-winning actress, we have witnessed Karrueche Tran’s career continue to thrive and expand. And with such a demanding and competitive career, the Claws star has sometimes found herself neglecting her mental health in order to achieve her goals. Karrueche opened up about how she deals with career comparisons and working in wellness practices to her busy schedule.
"It's a battle, it's important to be mindful of what's real and what's not. Because when you're on Instagram, and you're scrolling, and you know, this person has this, or this person booked this job, and we're judging them, or we're judging ourselves, we're comparing ourselves and I had to let that go," she confessed in an interview with Yahoo.
"I can't do everything, I can't be everything ... and that's okay," she says.
Karrueche first gained popularity when she began dating Chris Brown in 2011 but since their breakup, she has worked to make a name for herself in entertainment. She has starred in Claws, the web series The Bay in which she became the first Asian American Pacific Islander to win an Emmy, and more recently she appeared in Bel-Air.
Over the last few years though, the 34-year-old has learned to become more “mindful of what I'm telling myself and what I'm thinking about in my head and how that affects my day-to-day."
"Having that type of energy constantly in your brain, at some point it exudes outside of you, whether it's in your energy, whether it's in your words, whether it becomes stress on your body or even acne."
She added, "I have had to learn to accept whatever it is. 'You're a little nervous?' 'It's fine.' 'How can we work through this?' 'Take some deep breaths.' 'Let's research.' 'What can you do to prepare?' You know, I've found ways to turn that negativity or that anxiousness into fuel.”
While becoming more conscious of how she speaks to herself, another wellness practice she participates in is sound baths. She said that she got into doing sound baths after a friend introduced her to it and the actress began having Instagram Live sessions with it during the pandemic.
"We actually got a lot of great feedback and even to this day, people are like, 'do your sound baths again.' So it's really interesting that even virtually people were still able to feel some sort of effect from it," she shared.
According to Very Well Mind, sound baths “is a meditative experience where those in attendance are “bathed” in sound waves. These waves are produced by various sources, including healing instruments such as gongs, singing bowls, percussion, chimes, rattles, tuning forks, and even the human voice itself.”
Karrueche also cites hot yoga and spending time in the sun as other wellness practices that have helped her mental health.
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Featured image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images
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Born into the world of entertainment, Deja Riley is a star in her own right. And if her last name sounds familiar, it is because she is the daughter of legendary producer and King of New Jack Swing, Teddy Riley. But rather than rely on her father's connections and last name, Deja chose to forge her own path into the entertainment industry. Going from dancing professionally with the likes of Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and the queen herself, Beyoncé, to now becoming one of the most sought-after MIRROR home fitness trainers, a lululemon global ambassador, and the creator of her own fitness brand, the Sweaty Smiles Squad.
In an exclusive with xoNecole, Deja opens up about her professional dance background, transitioning into a career in fitness, being an advocate for Black people in the fitness industry, and the importance of 'Deja Dailies' to her self-care routine.
xoNecole: Let's first get into your dance background. How long have you been a dancer and how did you begin dancing for some of our faves?
Deja Riley: Dancing is actually something that I've always done. My parents put me in dance at the age of three so it's always been a huge part of my life. Once I started competitively dancing at 12, I started taking it more seriously. When I moved to LA at the age of 19, my first dance job was working for Laurieann Gibson as her assistant. She was a huge mentor who gave me my first celebrity gig which was on Dancing with the Stars with Lady Gaga.
Since then, I have danced for Britney Spears, J.Lo, Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, and the list goes on and on and on. So it's something that will always be a passion of mine. And I think that that is why I love dance fitness so much. It's because I get to incorporate both my passion for wellness and then my passion for dance as well.
xoN: What made you decide to transition into the health and fitness space?
DR: I've just always had this inclination to move my body. I love movement of all kinds. It varies from yoga to HIIT workouts. I love kickboxing. I love boxing. So at the age of 27 or 28, I was transitioning out of the dance industry. I remember being on the football field at Super Bowl 50, dancing behind Beyoncé with all of the glitz and glamour and lights. And I still felt small. I felt like I was not enough. And my mental health is important. So when I started feeling that way, I knew that it was time to shift. It was time to switch gears into something a lot more fulfilling for not just my body, but also my spirit and my mind.
It took six months to a year for me to fully make the transition. But I had already been working out a lot so I decided that I wanted to lean into fitness even more. At first, I was like, maybe I'll do some fitness modeling. Then I was like, maybe I'll go into personal training. And I landed in group fitness where I started my fitness journey as a leader.
"I remember being on the football field at Super Bowl 50, dancing behind Beyoncé with all of the glitz and glamour and lights. And I still felt small. I felt like I was not enough. And my mental health is important. So when I started feeling that way, I knew that it was time to shift."
lululemon
xoN: As a Black woman in the fitness industry, what hurdles have you had to overcome?
DR: That's a great question. Representation is so important. Especially because when I was a little girl, I didn't have very many examples of that. But we have more today. And it is up to trainers like me and other, Black and brown women to continue to pave the way and show our young Black women that you can lead a healthy and happy life. I think that is part of my mission, as a trainer, as an advocate, as an activist. I take that responsibility very, very seriously. In terms of obstacles that I've had to conquer, it goes back to the very beginning of my journey as a dancer.
I was oftentimes faced with this idea of tokenism. Like there can only be one of us in the group, or there can only be one of us on the platform. And that's not true. Combating that narrative is so important. It's not competing, it's about sisterhood. When negotiating my contract for lululemon and MIRROR, I had to seek advice from other mentors in other industries because I didn't know anyone within our industry to help me navigate that. So now mentoring people that come after me is very important. I currently work with an organization called Fit For Us which advocates, supports, and continues to push the agenda forward for Black wellness and fitness professionals. That is near and dear to my heart.
I've done things like fireside chats, one-on-ones, and being transparent about fair wages and what other Black fitness professionals should look out for in their contracts. I think it is important that we continue to band together and teach those that come after us on progressing and pushing forward. And that's what I'm on a mission to continue to do.
"In terms of obstacles that I've had to conquer, it goes back to the very beginning of my journey as a dancer. I was oftentimes faced with this idea of tokenism. Like there can only be one of us in the group, or there can only be one of us on the platform. And that's not true. Combating that narrative is so important. It's not competing, it's about sisterhood."
lululemon
xoN: As the daughter of super-producer Teddy Riley, what was that journey like making a name for yourself and not relying on your father?
DR: I think what is often perceived by the public is that I got to where I am, because of my dad, and it's quite the opposite. We can never escape the name. My siblings and I work very hard. We all have different careers in different industries. And we all do our best to let our work and our character speak for themselves. My dad instilled in each one of us a very strong work ethic. So it was never an option to only lean on my last name. I always had to work for everything that I had.
When I was in the dance industry, I had to audition just like all of these other dancers and work for the job. My dad wasn't making phone calls to choreographers or artists for me to get the job. But I think that I do have the privilege and the honor of being able to get industry and career advice from somebody like him. He has paved the way for so many in the music industry, and I'm hoping to do the same in the fitness industry.
xoN: How do you prioritize yourself and approach self-care in your busy life and the different titles you juggle day-to-day?
DR: I make self-care a priority every day. I couldn't put out radiant, joyful energy in the world if I didn't start with me first. I use my 'Deja Dailies' -- my own internal assessment I roll through -- to set the tone for my day. I meditate first thing in the morning and take time to read and journal. I usually get into my favorite book of the month, read articles that challenge my brain or inspire me and then take time to journal and take into account feelings that I need to get out on paper and release.
I make it a priority to get nourishment into my body, which could be through food, music, or movement, so I find space to dance or run, or whatever I need that day to feed my soul. I make sure to intentionally set the pace of my days; even if that means going to bed early or waking up earlier, ultimately I do what's necessary to be my best self each day.
"I make self-care a priority every day. I couldn't put out radiant, joyful energy in the world if I didn't start with me first... I make it a priority to get nourishment into my body, which could be through food, music, or movement, so I find space to dance or run, or whatever I need that day to feed my soul."
lululemon
xoN: What are some sustainable lifestyle changes that people can incorporate into their lives?
DR: So I'm going to give a little bit of motivational advice, and that is you have to do something that you love. If you don't find what resonates with your heart, you're eventually going to quit doing it. There are so many ways to move [your body]. Also, "Start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can."
That's actually a quote from Arthur Ashe. I think we oftentimes forget that he, like many others, had to start somewhere too. So I go back to that phrase often. And if you get overwhelmed, from looking at the entire staircase, just focus on one step, focus on being present.
For more of Deja Riley, follow her on Instagram @dejariley.
Featured image courtesy of Deja Riley
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